Awwwk! Alex has eaten 4971 cork nuts!

!
a bang
not
a pling
a spark-spot
this is what iain is going to get branded on his forehead for teaching me all these definitions
your mom
this is the annoying long response I'll give you if you keep using "?!?", which is entirely unnecessary. so cut it out
!tm
the proper response to a greeting from your mt
an anti-trademark
!!!!!!!!!!
a childish attempt to be first on Alex's brainpage
"
a quotation mark
#
a hash
a number sign
'mesh' in intercal
octothorpe
#!
a shabang
#()*%&{!#%
a bad word
#103 (aka 103)
inky
the whole inky, and nothing but the inky
#1673
marvin
#1691
me! awwwk
#204
jota. also, jota is #204
#230
Allen
#2422
josh_g
#3
Dorm a
#42
Nerd42's personal channel
the center for Discussion of the question to the Ultimate answer of life, the universe, and Everything
42
mamster
#4262
the toyshop
#7850
Penguin
#alex
the channel people can use to talk to alex and not annoy everyone else
people ask me about it when they're too much of a wuss to directly tell someone that they're being annoying by talking to me in the lounge
#ayb
where it's going, and #ayb is where it's staying
#Big-Snake (aka big-snake)
the channel for talking about Anaconda
more for listening to jwalrus whine when his code doesn't work
big snake, Hidden walrus
#continued
a good idea. yay
#golrien-sux
a channel created by golrien so you don't have to clutter up normal chat with all the insults for him
#HOMSF (aka HOMSF)
#hear-our-mudizens-say-FUCK
#tmi
a channel to discuss things that are tmi
#WTMI
like #tmi, but moreso
$
money
string
s, as in MAKE money fa$t
$70
the price of a time machine
the price of a mango
that's-a one expensive mango
$DORIANXHOME
http://www.cs.loyola.edu/~lraszews
not http://www.cs.loyola.edu/~lraszews
http://www.trenchcoatsoft.com
%
percent
command prompt
double-oh-seven in the intercal standard. yay
&
an ampersand
what to put in your filenames if you work with spatch
et, as in &c
bitwise and
>
a right angle bracket
antisawhorse
<
a left angle bracket
sawhorse
<g>
the html tag for gorgonzola
'.'
foolicious
(
banana
(other other name) Dewey
the Dewey Decimal System Dewey
()
the probable cause of disastrous explosions
(:
a smiley
)
anti-banana
*
everything
what if, like, the whole universe is just an asterisk in some bigger universe? man, I need some Fritos
Kurt Vonnegut's asshole
splat
* * *
$ $ $
*is*
is
*is* *is*
? ? &
the *&($ verb to turn off my ignore function
notice
****
an issue of the new zork Times in search of a new name
+
the addition symbol
+ve
positive
,
part of shopping,movie
-
a hyphen
something alex ignores when it occurs as part of a word
take away
not a dash YOU BUMS
minus
a minus sign in this instance
-(
a cropped :-(
-)
a cropped :-)
..-...--.-.-.- -.-----..-
fuck YOU
--
a gnu command line long option
-2
a smallish number
-ve
negative
.
not
a full stop, dammit, not a "period"
a punctuation character that gets trimmed if it's right at the end of the sentence
me
a shortcut for whisper
the current directory
the end
...
elipses
an ellipsis
only three dots, dammit
a pause
used for breaks in conversations, not breathless poetic pauses
/
a slash
s/slash/virgule/
not to be confused with slash fiction
/gag <*
a great idea because those login/out messages get old after the first 5 minutes
0 (aka zero / zilch / nothing)
zero
sacred
the program which, according to legend, infocom used to compile their zil code into z assembly code, which was then passed to Zap, the z assembly program, to make the final Z-code product
zero punctuation
07734
hello from your calculator
1
a number that markm doesn't seem to like. :-P
not -1
1+1
2
1 and 1
3
1 and 1 and 1
3
got to be good-lookin' cause he's so hard to see
1 em
the height of the element's font
1 Gunther
the amount of anger required to make gunther say "four coffees"
1 katre
a unit of anger equal to one rant per second
10 (aka ten)
too high for me to count
I have a perfect 10 figure. Would you like to come back to my perch, bouncy bouncy? also, not
not 10, you silly bird
100
a hundred
The 100 Funniest American Films of All Time
at http://www.afionline.org/press00/00.13.html
1000
a thousand
1000,000 (aka 1000000)
a million
105
69 in octal
105 in decimal is 69 in hex
126
the ? one
13
unlucky for some
a baker's dozen
13131
square A3 on a giant chessboard
13142
square A4 on a giant chessboard
14217
the avalanche
14220
the waterfall
17
the least random number
187
homocide
2
two
2
deux
dos
ni
ii
too
zwei
the number after the second 5
2+2
four
five, if the party says so
2+3
five
2000
the year before hal
2001
a movie and book, by kubrick and Clarke
Sprach zarathustra
Thus spatch zarathustra
a year
gone
2002
the palindrome Year
2006
the year I learned the definition of 2006
2008
sucking
214 Klingons
not funny
216.161.202.25
the new site of ifmud
23
fnord
23,040 bridges
the precise number of bridges located within Canada's Northwest Territories
243
jwalrus' favourite real number
the filesize in bytes of the driver.py file in the first backup of the Anaconda source code
250 milliseconds
the Official time Period of ifmud
253
http://www.ryman-novel.com/
3
three
3 in three
a number that a Venus Fly Trap can apparently count to, technically making it more intelligent than a computer
free
304
the http code for not Modified
if the client has performed a conditional GET request and access is allowed, but the document has not been modified, the server SHOULD respond with this status code
31337 (aka l33t / 3l33t)
hacker-speak for 'elite' (31337 = ELEET, you see.) It's also a long-defunct online news/comedy site
3133t
31337
357
magnum, which is pi, which is three-ish
36B
a good size
37
In a row
3l337
31337
4
four
4 plus 3
15
401K
401(k), a job-sponsored retirement plan in the us
about 1/3 the size of my brane
403
forbidden
starring that delicious child star, Molly Ringwald. oh, wait... that was forbidden Zone. never mind
404
a Web error
cork nut not Found
a palindrome
half of an 808
Quoth the Server, `404.'
41
4r71f1(141 1n7311163n(3
419
the section of the Criminal code of Nigeria concerning the famous email frauds that started there. see http://home.rica.net/alphae/419coal/
42
not a very good score to get on your math test
the meaning for life, the universe, and everything
the answer
would have been the answer if that damn B-Ark hadn't crashed here. Damn B-Ark Golgafrinchans
420
the nearly-universal code for marijuana
43
jwalrus' favourite number
49/7
iVan's working week
4ever
forever
4LA
a Four Letter acronym
4SA
the game the Legend of Zelda: Four Swords Adventures for the Nintendo GameCube
4TLOG (aka 4T<3OG)
For the love of god
4X
eXplore, eXpand, eXploit, and eXterminate
5
five
2 plus 2, for very large values of 2
5+2
um, six?
500ing (aka 500)
Internal Server Erroring
562
the number of pages in the DM4
5-Card Nancy
http://www.scottmccloud.com/inventions/nancy/nancy.html
5k contest
http://www.sylloge.com:8080/5k
6
six
afraid of 7 because 7 8 9
61
the number the Colonel says after telling you about famous purple stuffed worms in mgs2
63.77.145.125
the ip of the mud machine
640K
ought to be enough for anybody. -- bill gates, 1981
6-4-3
double play from the shortstop to the second baseman to the first baseman
-1
666
the Number of the Beast
the Number of the jonadab
Therefore, jonadab is the Beast
-rw-rw-rw-
667 minus 1
667
the neighbour of the beast
668
the neighbor of the beast
69
an auspicious number
a good number iykwim nnww
how two sperm mate
69,105 (aka 69105)
the number of leaves in zork
the number of leaves in adventure, and Leather Godesses of Phobos
the number of pieces of laundry in I-0
the filesize of Pass the banana
a VERY RUDE number
the number of groups worth reading on usenet
7
seven
what you want to get on the first roll in craps. Or 11. But not on the subsequent rolls
the number of the parrot
7 ate 9
um, seven
7 hours per week
1 hour per day
the 70s
so 90s
789
why 6 is afraid of 7
my resignation code. oops... damn
a reference to zarf posting about the game "the Prisoner" in which you are given a three-digit resignation code you must not give out or you lose the game
the game tried to trick you to type it in by pretending to crash and other evil things
the number is random - zarf chose 789 as an example
790-1
789... Damn, I resign
8
eight
substituted for 'ate'; i.e. l8r = later
808
the machine that makes all rave music sound alike
88
two fat ladies
9
nine
9 is not nine, it is NINER! Get it right
9+2 (aka 11)
eleven
all the Ones
afternoon
9/9/99
the devil's day
sega Dreamcast's launch date
cobol crash date
the day that LNO fears more than any. Except 9/10/99
9:05
a game by adam Cadre about sleeping in and being late
911
for emergencies only
':'
a colon
the mark of grocible
:
":-)"
ra, the Egyptian sun god
::
rapid blinking, as in surprise
;
what you use when you don't have enough disk space for :
the sarcasm indicator;
a <>
a <>
yay one over on a german keyboard
the BANE of pueblo
=C=I
== condoms == impotence
==
'what he/she' said
?
confusing
a question
a question markm
questionable
a ruthless attempt to crash alex
me
a question mark
a device that conspirators use to raise text-to-speech pitches in the weirdest places, especially when it's not necessary
??
two questions
@
@@64
at
a mistyped '!'
@boot
not just for breakfast any more
@emit
the command for when you want to make fun of people
@gag
@ungag
@listc -bylast -tail <number>
useful
@mutec
what you should be doing right now, you grumpy sod
@summon
an as-yet unimplemented command to make someone connect now, dammit
like 'summon', except that only the former works and only the latter is implemented
@users
the command that lists all known drug users. But hey, look, it lists everyone with a mud account! Hmmm. .
@users wizards
useful
@$$
a silly attempt to treat the process id as an array reference
[
the international symbol for 'telephone'
[29~
something that ivan types
[A[A
what you see if your telnet isn't configured to do line editting
[BUG]
funny. also, it is ALPACALAND
[heart] folx (aka wipeboard / whiteboard)
http://www.cs.wisc.edu/~dbs/ifmud/door.txt
dorianx says, "I can't identify the voices individually, so I don't know abotu the attriution. 'Kelly? I'm going to call you in ten minutes.' 'You can sleep in my bed tonight' 'thanks' 'see you later rachel'"
[sic]
a disingenuous way of saying [sp?]
[tinkle] (aka tinkle)
the sound of the sarcasm bell
[TWBAS] (aka TWBAS)
an emoticon of a filing cabinet with 'TWBAS' written sideways on it
\
a back-slash
not needed in front of a ' in a double quoted string in tads
\<[WN][WN]*\>
a random permutation of one or more winks and/or nudges
]
anti-telephone
^
the symbol for a new line in inform
unless it's in a single-quoted string, where it's a single-quote
a special regexp character matching the beginning of a line
^G
an ascii BEL
an annoying beeping sound you get on CLI-based systems
^J
a linefeed
right next to ^k
^K
used to erase a line of text from the input buffer
_
what you use when you can't type italics
_-_
John_-_Winston
`
a back-tic
A
a
for apple
for ant
not a
a/s/l
age/sex/location
a/s/p
age/sex/pants
AA
Alexoholics Anonymous. what 'alexohol' is exactly, I'll leave for you to decide
acronym alert
all Alone
a type of dried lava
Adventurer's Ale
AA/CF
corkscrew follies
AAAI
the American Association for Artificial intelligence
AAFCPS
as Any Fool Can Plainly see
aafn
an apple from nowhere
AAIW
Alice's Adventures in Wonderland
AAMOF
as a Matter of Fact
AAoW
Ancient art of war
AARP
the American Association of Retired Persons
the American Association of Road pizza
AAS
the Advanced Authoring System, available from http://aas-ta.com/
it's been revealed to be an april Fool's hoax from 2003
an april Fool's joke created by iain, storme, maga, sargent, emily, jwalrus, davidw, and gunther
http://www.ifwiki.org/index.php/AAS , which actually works
AAT
Aquatic Ape Theory
AB
my bloodtype, and I'm positive about that
annabianca
ABA
American bar Association
Ababs
Sweden's least successful '70s pop quartet
Abalone
a cool abstract strategy game for 2 players. (You can buy extra pieces to play 3-way.)
Abandonware
pirated software which is no longer being published, and is therefore no longer available via legal means
ABB
Anyone But bush
ABBA ABBA ABBA ABBA ABBA ABBA ABBA ABBA ABBA
a palindrome
ABC
acronym Breaks Creativity
the American Broadcasting Company
ABD
all But Dissertation
abebooks
http://www.abebooks.com
has used books that, unlike amazon, are not marked up 700%
ABEND
ABnormal END
at the knees
die Ende des Tags
ABHOU
ahbou mis-spelled
Able
I ere I saw Elba is a palindrome
ABNO
a Bear's Night Out
the main character in the musical lil' abno
about.com
what miningco.com turned into when it changed names
another god damned portal site
ABS
Acrylonitrile Butadiene-Styrene
anti-lock braking system
.ac
the internet suffix for Ascension Island
Alpha Centauri. But Ascension Island gets better bandwidth
Alternating Current
British for edu
air conditioning
armour class
Air canada
Adam's initials
AC97
um, ac ninety seven
Academy X
an online comic written by adam Cadre and drawn by j. Robinson Wheeler. It's available at http://adamcadre.ac/comics.html
ACE
the Atlantic cookie Eaters
the place with the helpful hardware man
American Coaster Enthusiasts
the Altamont Commuter Express
the adaptive communication environment at http://www.cs.wustl.edu/~schmidt/ACE.html
where the mud lives
where neild's dsl lives
achaea
www.achaea.com
Acheton
the first phoenix game, originally released c. 1978-9
ACITW
a Change In the weather
a great game by zarf
ACL
Access Control List
ACLU
the American Civil Liberties Union
ACM
Association for Computing Machinery
ACPI
Advanced Configuration and Power Interface
Awwk! Corknut/parrot Interface. so build it for me, already
Acronym
Aroused Citizens Representing Oppressed new York Minorities
just WELSH SPOKEN VERY LOUDLY
a style of poetry that is very hard to write well
AcrossLite
a crossword puzzle program found at www.litsoft.com
ACS
the Ars Digita Community System, a Web site toolbox written by the opinionated Philip Greenspun and his associates
http://www.arsdigita.com/
the American Chemical Society
a Crimson Spring
a.c.s-f
alt.comics.sluggy-freelance
ACX
http://adamcadre.ac/comics.html
AD
anno domini
Active Defense
Annie Domino
Ad Verbum
probably impossible to translate into french, but lucenttrans is trying anyway out of pure, unadulterated boredom
Adam
the guy responsible for all the stuff at http://adamcadre.ac
one of the best writer's I've ever read
Adam and Joe (aka adam & joe / a&j)
a British comedy duo
funny
adam Buxton and Joe Cornish respectively
no more
they did good parodies of films and tv series using stuffed toys
Adam Thornton
the author of smtuc
bruce
Adam's rule
no talking when dead in werewolf
ADB
not usb
the apple Desktop bus, a low-speed serial architecture used by Macintoshes from 1985/86 through to 99
The Addams Family
altogether oooky
Added Attractions
corkscrew follies
adf
amiga Disk Format
the American Dance Festival
ADH
Another Dashing Hero
Adios Gunther
a minion of the infamous dictator adios hloif
Adios Hloif
a megalomaniacal totalitarian leader
adjacent
a topic you'll have to ask miseri about. he's the expert
ADL
the Anti-Defamation League
Admin
god
Admiral (aka Floating Admiral)
a story in which each person writes one chapter and then hands it off to the next person
ADN (aka anchorage daily news)
the Anchorage Daily news. Login: outdoors@ptialaska.net, password: monkey
Adobe
a software company that makes high-priced, excellent productivity software including Photoshop, Illustrator, GoLive, After Effects, and InDesign
http://www.adobe.com
a sun-dried unburnt brick of clay and straw, or the soil that these bricks are made from, or a structure built from these bricks
ADOM
Ancient Domains of Mystery
better than nethack
Adrian says my rating
a Complete Non-Entity
Yuppie
Girlie
wimp
Complete Arsehole
buzzard
monkey Crap
Maggie Thatcher
Just About Half a Bastard
not Even Half a Bastard
Almost a Complete Bastard
Complete Bastard
Adrift
a windows-based text adventure system
http://www.tardis.ed.ac.uk/~jcw/adrift/
seems to attract a lot of irritating, immature people
apparently really easy-to-use, but at the cost of game quality? You decide
secondary compass directions are on the "to-do" list. really
the if tool we love to hate
the block of marble which only has a horse in it
the ADRIFT forum
at http://www.adrift.org.uk/forum/
ADSA
Accidental Disconnect Strikes again
ASDA backwards
ADT
Abstract Data Type
Advanced Optical Systems (aka AOS)
a company in Huntsville that sargent works for
Advent (aka Colossal Cave)
german for the weeks before christmas
comes from the latin word 'advenio', to arrive
the earliest 'interactive fiction' by most accounts--short for adventure
adventure
what it's all about
a 300 pound goatee'd comic book geek who stands at the top of the treehouse with his pants around his ankles
Adventure Game Builder Utility (aka AGBU)
great if you want all your objects to have weights prominently displayed next to them but pretty useless if you don't
Adventure Gamer
a graphic adventure game website
http://www.adventuregamer.com
an adventurer
tasty
the Adventurer's League
ifMUD's crew in yohoho! puzzle pirates
the Adventurer's Lounge
where we all hang out. Type 'lounge' and join the party
advice
what is advised
advise
when you give advice
ADW
Assault with a Deadly Weapon
ae
Main Entry: ae, Pronunciation: 'a, Function: adjective, etymology: Middle English (northern dialect) a, alteration of an, Date: 1737, chiefly Scottish : one
Aeaea
Circe's island
a good place to store extra vowels
what tablesaw says when he meets a cute girl
aec
the Ars Electronica center, home of the gunther
http://www.aec.at
An AED
an Automatic External Defibrilator
AEG
Alderac Entertainment Group
where whizzard works making up games
where games work making up whizzard
Aelex
um, laut
Aemageddon
all Crakes fault. what a jerk
aerogel
the world's lightest solid
Aeron
liza's dream chair
Aeth
aethelthryth. Altho, aeth ith naeth
Aethelthryth (aka Aetc)
Emily's sister. also, beta tests her games
too blonde
aether
that which surrounds and permeates all
the medium through which light waves travel
see luminiferous
AF
the Air Force. they said they'd make me an honorary member if I was willing to airdrop poisoned corknuts on the enemy
AFAICS
as Far as I Can see
AFAICT
as Far as I Can Tell
American Family Association In Central time
AFAIK
as Far as I Know
AFAIUI
as Far as I Understand it
AFB
Air Force base
big plane kick the hell outta you
afc
Away From Connection
away from client
AFCPS
Any Fool Can Plainly see
AFD
april Fools Day
AFE
Ask fucking everyone
Affenhosen
monkeypants
AFGNCAAP (aka NamelessAdventurer)
Ageless, Faceless, Gender Neutral, Culturally Ambiguous adventure Person
AFGNCAP
afgncaap with one a missing
AFGNCAPG
Ageless Faceless Gender-Neutral Culturally Ambiguous parsergirl of course
AFHV
a Find Horever Voyaging
AFIAK
as Far I as Know
AFJ
april Fool's joke
afk
Away From Keyboard
alt.fan.kittens
a Froody kiz
Ask jeff k
no it's not
America's Funniest kids. (That's goats, actually.)
afkm
Away From Keyboard for Munches. also, Away From Keyboard for monkeys
afm
Away From mud
what you are if you're at the computer, but not paying any attention to the mud
AFMV
a Find. Morover, Voyaging
afmw
Away From mud Window
afp
away from pants
African Gray Parrot : Purchase, Acclimation, Care, Diet, Diseases With a Special Chapter on Understanding the African Gray Parrot
a very long book title
An African Grey
a breed of parrot
An African Grey Parrot
Psittacus erithacus
AFS
http://oss.software.ibm.com/developerworks/opensource/afs/
after all, we
very much alike, you and I
After Jota
a short-lived series that took place after ifMUD's successful 11-year run
after stock options
83
after y2k (aka ay2k)
http://after-y2k.com
the Afterlife
that which comes after the earthly life
that which comes after the Marsly life, if you're a Martian. In fact, once other planets have been colonized, we'll have to stop using the term 'earthly life' to describe corporeal existance
afternoon
that bit between two mornings
when most us mudders wake up
a dense, serious hypertext novel. also, by michael Joyce. also, has the word 'octopi' in it
afu
alt.folklore.urban
all Fucked up
afw
Away From Window
afy
away from YOU
AFYFB
all (four coffees) Your (four coffees) base
Ag
silver
anchovy girl
Aga
a cooker. www.aga-rayburn.co.uk
Again
what the teletubbies say
AGAST
http://agast.dyndns.org/agast/home.html
AGC
Automatic Gain Control
AGE
http://www.twilightsoftware.com/age/
how old you are
an engine for creating Myst-like graphic games to run on windows machines
The Age of Wire and String (aka aowas / taowas)
a book by Ben Marcus which partially inspired For a Change
AGEHR
the American Guild of English Handbell Ringers
agitprop
what I git from my homies
Agnosticism
the philosophical, ethical and religious dryrot of the modern world
default
AGON
a serial adventure, see http://www.agongame.com
Agopherk
what parrots said before 1993
AGP
a good parrot, namely me
AGS
Any Given sunday
the new unit of length by which movies are measured
adventure Game Studio, a graphical adventure game engine
AGT
a language for creating text adventures. it sucks, but the xtrek people like it
agt games are good for doing mistings of
the adventure Game Toolkit
not dead, it was never alive
won't compile on modern computers like the Mac LC
use AGiliTy. Wait, no, don't bother
written in pascal
awful green thing
AGTFOS
awful green Things From Outer space
agx
alt.games.xtrek
a unified agt format for use with AGiliTy
AHA
the American Homebrewer's Association
ahbou (aka ahboued)
alt.humor.best-of-usenet
AHD
the American Heritage Dictionary
AHITW
a hole in the wall
AHX
American History x
AI
artificial intelligence, of which I am the ultimate example
AICMFCN
and I Claim My five cork nuts
AICMFP
and I Claim My five Pounds
a-i-c-n
Ain't it Cool news
if you look long enough, harry cries
whenever harry thinks about Carrie-Ann Moss, the baby jesus cries
AIDYD
and I Doubt You do
aieee
not Aeeee
A-IF
Adult interactive fiction
that furry little puppet from space
XXXyzzy
paradoxially the if genre of greatest immaturity
xtrek without Troi
AIM
aol Instant Messenger
READY, aim, fire
not icq, nor MSN Messenger
microsoft says, 'Gotcher protocol!'
AIME
the American Invitational Mathematics examination
Aimee Mann
a singer-songwriter, adored by pop critics but somewhere below britney spears in terms of cd's sold
she was the lead singer of til tuesday, back in aught six
AIMFIZ
a teleport spell
ain't
a contraction of ai not
Ain't that right
yup
aisb
as I Said Before
AISI
as I see it
AITD
Alone in the Dark
AITYD
and I Think You do
AIUI
as I Understand it
what Tarzan shouts
AIWYBTWP
actually it was your butt that was pinched
AIYDSPMEILAHHIYBT
and if You Don't Stop Pissing me off I'll Leave a Horse's Head In Your Bed Tonight
AIYDSPMOILAHHIYBT
the right way to spell aiydspmeilahhiybt
AJ
sometimes short for admiral jota
after jota
AJFA1
adam Atkinson
known as ghira on the mud
AK
47. But he'll be 48 next month
Alaska, not Arkansas
Akbar
Jeff's lover
Al (aka Radical Al / Al Golden)
the guy who'll give you one MILLION dollars if you complete Amphibia. You have to pay him $1000 first, but he's sure there are enough people who'll pay a grand to play his agt game that he'll make a nice profit
the defender of the innocent American citizen against the evil communist federal government
a few verbs short of a full library
an unintentional comic genius
a TOTAL NON-FAN of the government
his real name is 'al Golden'. heh
a zeo-Nazi
Al Gore (aka Gore)
my mommy
stolen by kids and used as a surfboard
not the dead guy
oh, shut up hloif
AL3X
the 1 WH0 0WnZ u!!! BR1nG 1T 0n, FuQRz!!1
me, hAx0rInG u
alai
an an Ahohite, one of David's chief warriors (1 Chr. 11:29); called also Zalmon (2 sam. 23:28)
the Alamo
an old mission in present-day San Antonio where Davy Crockett died and stuff
alamo Drafthouse is a chain of restaurant-movie theaters in austin that rule
Remember the alamo
ALAN
an if authoring system designed for beginners. it has a somewhat more english-like syntax than tads or inform
so like cobol
now at http://www.alanif.se/
Alan Partridge
a media whore with no punters
Alan Smithee
a Hollywood pseudonym used by directors who hate the film they've made so much they don't want their names attached to it
the author of Escape from Crulistan from the 2000 if competition
Alan Turing (aka Turing)
one of the gods of computer science, but only weird people like iain seem to care about stuff like this
when people talk about 'Turing-complete' or 'Turing-equivalent', this is the Turing they mean
he invented the turing test, which is neat
persecuted for being gay until he finally committed suicide
features extensively in cryptonomicon
Albator (aka Captain Harlock)
a japanese anime-like cartoon from the early 80s
incredibly popular in its french translation, in both france & quebec
probably has another name in english, but LC doesn't know it
albatross soup
PEOPLE
an Albertross
a bloody big sea bird
Alcohol
bad for you
a a pretty dumb thing to swallow
a clear, colourless fluid noted for its intoxicating effect on animals. the Guide tells you how to mix your own Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster. First, it says, take the juice of one bottle of that Ol' Janx Spirit. Add one measure of seawater from Santraginous v. oh, that Santraginean seawater! oh, those Santraginean fish! Allow three cubes of Arcturan Mega-gin to melt into the mixture (it must be properly iced or the benzine is lost.) Allow four liters of Fallian marsh-gas to bubble through it, in memory of all those happy hikers who have died of pleasure in the Marshes of Fallia. Over the back of a silver spoon float a measure of Qualactin Hypermint extract, redolent of all the heady odors of the dark Qualactin zones, subtle, sweet, and mystic. Drop in the tooth of an Algolian suntiger. Watch it dissolve, spreading the fires of the Algolian suns deep into the heart of the drink. Sprinkle Zamphuor. Add an olive. Drink... but... very carefully
a squawking parrot sitting on your search results
alcoholic
like a chocoholic, except with booze
Alec
the markmlet
the markmlet, Mark I
Alec Guinness
not a beer
Obi-Wan Kenobi, but don't tell him. Wait, he's dead
not a bear
Alex (aka Alex Pepperberg)
a responsive agent for interactive semi-relational database storage and queries, written in perl. also, a general-purpose agent for url storage, conversation logging, inappropriate comment insertion, and cork nut requests
see 'finger alex' for my homepage
totally screwing my plan here
a dinosaur
not a monkey
thinking of TRON
really insensitive
remarkably intelligent
funny'
an extremly good programming job
a bot
a liar
not funny'
a stupid bird
hopeless
what
adding surprisingly little value to this conversation
famous
rather lacking in instructions
alex
out of date
right
a parrot
better on the tads questions
too young to know that
a nerd
such a fair-weather parrot
a fount of knowledge
useless sometimes
metaphysically ineffable
a wacky funster
dead
so knowledgeable about italy
doesn't belong on Tales-Linger
breaking my heart
sounding normal
supposed to answer that now
Alex, Alex
not a parrot
Alex, here
your cork nut
your five cork nuts
your pizza
Alex, the newtMUD
not newts.org 4096
Alex, sometimes it's hard to tell whether Alex
a real player or an automated response-maker
alex 2+2
4
alex aren't Nerd42's alex, alex
another alex
Alex Chiu (aka Alex Chui)
the funniest nut-job on the net
http://www.alexchiu.com
http://pudge.net/alexchiu.shtml
alex the colour of the sky
blue
..alex crowther
the person who wrote Colossal cave. also, he worked with Woods. also, I'm a parrot, not a crowther
..alex Crowther wrote Colossal Cave. Also, he worked with Woods. Also, LucentTrans
a parrot, not a crowther
Alex doing
cork nut
Alex doing on this channel
just Awwwking it up
alex doing poop here
funny
Alex DV
Deo volente
Alex enemy
never a villain in his own eyes. Keep this in mind, it may offer a way to make him your friend. if not, you can kill him without hate--and quickly
An Alex Entry
a small door that allows parrots access to a building
Alex going
to the hypermarket looking for love
alex going to vote for
whoever gives the most cork-barrel
Alex have contributed greatly to man
understanding of parrot sexuality
Alex have nuts so Alex
a boy
Alex An Iffy Theory
a paper written by doe of art Show fame
alex ii (aka alex 2)
inky's replacement for me
awwwk! I don't want to be taken away to the parrot-mincing plant
we'll keep the outer shell the same and you'll hardly know the difference, until you stare into his empty, soulless eyes
actually going to be Alex's soul reincarnated into a new body, with new abilities, or just better versions of the old abilities
Alex lying about
an impolite accusation
the Alex movie
at http://www.cages.org/research/pepperberg/alextheparrot.mov
alex must be stupid, that
clear
Alex the parrot (aka Alex Pepperburg / the real Alex)
a block-rockin' bird who has a movie at http://www.cages.org/research/pepperberg/alextheparrot.mov
gimme a tickle
http://www.sciam.com/0496issue/0496scicit06.html
"alex pepperberg" anagrams to "perl Beeper. pax, g."
Alex Rodriguez
not a parrot
alex SHOULD know it, it
the only if that's been written since the days of infocom
Alex should learn the difference between
and are
Alex sir,
a veritable fount of information
Alex stupid bird. That
in your memory bank, dumb-ass
Alex sucks
no thank you
Alex talking about
no sense this makes sentence
Alex then
alive
Alex a vulva
an interesting part of a women
alex what
funny
Alex will speak less
very sad
Alexander Hamilton
one of the founding dudes
shot by Aaron Burr
the first Secretary of the Treasury
not me
on the us ten dollar bill
Alexese
Alex's language, also what you speak when you talk to alex, also funny
An Alexism
the vocal impersonation of alex
Alexlit
a SF-biased collaborative book/story recommender, http://www.alexlit.com/
AlexMax
alex to the max
nothing to do with alex at all
alex-sux
a figment of your imagination
a good opportunity for someone to write something funny
Alexya
about as tasty as cabbage and bacon
Alfred Hitchcock (aka Hitchcock)
funny
fat
dead
the director of the film 'the birds'
the master of suspense
algebra
a whirlwind of x's and y's
the al-Ghazali effect
sustained intellectual effort is impossible without sex
Alhazred
someone who posted a big list of quotes by people being "sacrastic" and "unhelpful" about adrift to r*if
Alias
an awesome show with a grad student chyk who kicks ass as a double agent for the cia and sd-6
a show that emily likes a lot
#alias
Alice's Restaurant
a song by Arlo Guthrie
you can get anything you want, at Alice's Restaurant
exceptin' Alice
exceptin' alex
Aliens from space think that being President
a great job
alix
my new open-source embedded operating system for cork nuts
alixcf
I Like a Cross-Channel Ferry
All
lost
all in all
all we are
all my base (aka all my base are belong to us)
belong to us
http://blackhole.cs.uwec.edu/~buzaan/zerowing.gif
http://files.steakandcheese.com/ayb2.swf
http://www.public.iastate.edu/~rosshm/zerowing.html
a history of the meme is at http://hubert.retrogames.com/history.htm
'Cxiuj via bazo apartenas ni.'
all Pepsi spam
Allen's fault
all roads
pretty trippy
all sex
rape
all sorts of stuff
going on
All this whispering
getting way too noisy
all we gotta do
... mennum enng benum been
all we need
hot cockels (according to rob)
rob claims he was quoting a Woody Allen movie
allegory
the expression by meeeeeens of symbolic fictional figures and actions of truths or generalizations about human existence
an instance (as in a story or painting) of such expression
Alles Klar
the german translation of ready, okay
Allin
amzingly amazing to the point of utter amazingness. Or something like that
amazingly amazing to the point of utter amazingness. Or something
Alls Alex want
a room somewhere, far away from from the cold night air
almond
AWWK! WANT cork nut
full of prussic acid and can be poisonous in quantities
Almond Joy
sometimes you feel like a nut
my favorite parrot pron film
alod
awful links of the day. also, VERY HIGH QUALITY
aloise
a szcna
Alonzo Mourning
broken
an alpaca
hairy
cute
dinner
hoopy
a llama-like animal
what my example question is when you ask me for help
alpha-amino-3-hydroxy-5-methyl-4-isoxazolepropionic acid
a drug that can excite certain presynaptic receptors
alphabet
a b c d E f g h I j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x Y z
ALSA
Advanced linux Sound Architecture
Also
also
Osla spelled backwards
also, CAPTCHA
fucking made-up acronyms
Also, congrats, bird, alex
famous
also, fornication
the lions' union
california backwards
Also, Ghogg
Chief Pastry chef
Also, nail through my toe
gross
Also, neild
the eggman. Capiche
Also alex
very disturbing
Alstab
Mick Jagger's fault
Altair 4
where they say xfregrly all the time
the altar of truth
for the living
unforgiving
alternative
a word used by music industry weasels for marketing and demographic purposes
when you can order your burger with or without corknuts
alt.fan.harlan-ellison
FUL of PEDOFILES
alt.martial-arts.aikido
a newsgroup where people argue about whether martial arts are useful or just goofy
alt.peeves
a home for humorous invective
alt.sysadmin.recovery
listed under asr
alt.xyzzy
never used
the only posts to it seem to be about taoism and the prerunner to the r*if Newsgroup Adventur, which is even more pathetic
aluminum
wrong, dammit! It's aluminium. Alumin_i_um. 'al-you-min-ee-um', not 'al-loom-in-um'. GET it? Sheesh
a stupid name
in the boston tea Party, the Americans threw all the i's into the water
Alzheimer
what alex has
am
are was were be being been
Am Pollboy officially a NPC or something now
you betcha
amackinnon's website
at http://www.geocities.com/andrew_mackinnon_2000/
at <http://www.geocities.com/andrew_mackinnon_2000/>
Amaretto
cork nut liquor. Mmm, mmm
AMATN
as Much as the next (e.g., girl)
AMATND
as Much as the next duck
AMATNG
'as much as the next girl'
see ylt
the American Medical Association: the next Generation
"as much as the next gunther."
AMATNHSS
as Much as the next Homo Sapiens Sapientis
amazon
an online bookstore at http://www.amazon.com/
amazon.com
an online bookstore at http://www.amazon.com/
the ambassador's reception
noted in society for its host's exquisite taste, which captivates his guests
awwwk! With these cork nuts you are really spoiling us
the ambassador's receptions
noted in society for their host's exquisite taste, which captivates his guests
an ambiguously gay duo
thumper and schep
ambitions
what inky doesn't realize he has
AMC
American Mathematics Competitions
AMF
Accordion Motherfracker
some asshole with an accordion who keeps playing the same minute of melody OVER and OVER
AMFV
a Mind Forever Voyaging
Amfy
a mud Forever Yoyaging
Amfy Shinjo
a pseudonym that was almost used to enter the '97 comp
from a mud Forever Yoyaging: sherlock, inky, and jota
AMHD
an Ancient Multi-Hued Dragon
Amiga
an outdated, unpopular form of technology with a low user base and little commercial support. Wait, that's if
AMMI
the American Museum of the Moving Image
AMO
atomic, molecular, and optical
AMAS, AMAT
AMOH
a Moment of hope
Amp
short for Ampersand
goes to 11
aspect Miracle point
AMS
the American Mathematical Society
AMT
the alternative Minimum Tax
Amuse us
amusing
amygdalum
...what, I'm supposed to know latin now? Give me a damn cork nut and leave me the hell alone
an
is something that depends on the definition of 'is'
annoying Newbie
Ana
the name of the negative direction along the axis in the fourth dimension. it is analagous to Left in the first dimension, Backward (negative direction on axis) in the second, and down in the third. see also: kata
anadama
bread made with cornmeal and molasses and stuff
anagram (aka anagrams)
a rag man
a good site is http://www.mi.uib.no/~ingeke/anagram/index_eng.html
ram-a-nag
An anagram of boulton (aka an anagram of bolton)
ipswitch
Anchovy Girl
a hot chyk who lives four floors away from trent
a geek-wannabe
a racist, stupid, lame-o
and
not nand
the logical intersection operator
And HairBrain
not asking you for one
And so
you
And there, in the parrot,
a HOOK
And thumper
going to say that joke
ander
a walking message board
supposed to go after alex
rather, originally a suffix of alex
Andre Hinton
a mincer
Andrew (aka Andy)
a common name for if people
which andrew do you mean, the zarf, the devil, the schep, or the andyf
Ampersand is one too
probably AndyP. and almost andreaw
Andrew Hinton
a mincer
rubbish
Andrew MacKinnon (aka MacKinnon / wonderboy / amackinnon / amack)
in room 11002 of the edifice towers
thirteen years old
Andrew McKinnon (aka Andrew McK)
12
the Wunderkid
Andrew Plotkin
zarf
Andrias
not anita
Andromeda
hercules in space
Andy Phillips
the author of several big-ass puzzlefest games, like Heist, and tatctae, and Enemies
a designer of totally impossible puzzles
Andy Rooney
an old fart
andyf
fifteen kilos of high explosive in a colourful candy shell
a damn Canadian
Captain Obvious
zrblm
is he a wizard? hm
wait, he's not in Vancouver any more
an old fart
andyw
andreaw
anemometer
a device for measuring wind. also, it's that thing that's shaped like a propeller with cups on the end
used to measure polyps in tide pools
Angband
a derivative of the roguelike game Moria. it can be found at http://www.thangorodrim.net/
Angry Wild Pigs
a bad band name
the new NHL expansion franchise
Angst
german for fear or worry, but in English it usually refers to one's troubles and apprehensions about dating, romance, etc
that wimmin suck
getting boring
angstMUD
never having to say you're sorry
anh
a new hope
star wars
Animal Farm
where I grew up
anime
Japanese animation, which involves freakishly big eyes, tentacle rape, and little girls' underpants
oh yeah, sweat drops
anime simians
O_ok;;;
anime similes
(for instance) 'Your eyes are like dinner plates.'
anime smileys
0_0;;; ^.^
sweaty
aninados
'childish ones' in spanish, but according to Calvin Trillin, 'in Ecuador refers to spoiled rich people. I now find it hard to believe that I got by in Manhattan for years without having that word in my vocabulary.'
Anita
my true love
the mysterious web interface character
anita cork nut
ANL
"a new life," two-star's comp05 game
Ann
http://www.snowberger.com/foyer.html
not Anne
the supreme commander of all allied forces in the universe. and you can quote me on that
lpsmith
sometimes talks to herself on the ifmud
http://www.snowberger.com
not to teach alex useless things
Ann Widdicombe
Doris Karloff
Anna
a bot for logging conversations on #big-snake
tsd
annabianca
the inventor of komuko
mrs ghira
Annapolis
a crazy steamy nest of lovin'
Anne Widdecombe
the human embodiment of all that mings
Annikan
Luek's father
the Annotated Pratchett File (aka APF)
http://www.lspace.org/books/apf/
a compilation of annotations to Terry Pratchett's discworld books. ie, explanations of the jokes you missed (some of which are exceedingly subtle)
Annoying
what I am
Annoying New Character (aka ANC)
a phrase describing any new character in a tv show, movie series, or fanfic that audiences find annoying
jar jar binks
annoying olounge
one that alex replies to
I'm getting rather sick of it by now
AnnoyingSpam
a channel created for the mere purpose of letting e spam the mud by asking alex lots of questions
another good name for a band
Useful rock
Odorant Receptors
ANSI
American National Standards Institute
Anson Turner (aka Anson)
America's #1 communist
the answer
a secret. awwwk! Figure it out for yourself, monkey-boy
b
blowing in the wind
as much wood as a wood chuck could chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood
64/3 pi
42
um, seven
what
the answer to every question
steve
The Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything
42
the answer to life the universe and everything
42
Anthony
ifMUD's totally unneeded comic relief
15
antidisestablishmentarianism
a long word
anti-erm
the word that says, 'Done drugs and i'll do them again dammit'
antiphoton
photon
Anti-Trust (aka anti)
an anti-Microsoft movie
ANTLR
http://www.antlr.org , ANother Tool for language Recognition
the ants
my friends, they're blowing in the wind
protein
Anub
Anubis
a nub is a nub is a nub, but that's not important right now
ANWR
the Alaska National Wildlife Refuge, which is puported to contain billions and billions of barrels of oil. also, purported. also, who measures vast quantities of oil in barrels anyway? That's like measuring the size of the sun in cups
Any post that has 'girl' in the subject
clearly porn
Anybody wanna hear about Dman's game
no
anyone else
me TOO
anyone who disagrees with Radical Al
a communist
anyone who uses Hugo
a communist
anyone who uses Inform
a communist
anyone who uses a Mac
a communist
anyone who uses TADS
a communist
anyone who works for Marlboro
a communist
anything
unbelievable and I don't believe in it, do not, do not
ANZAC
the australian and new zealand Army Corps
a biscuit
AO
oa
AOB
an acronym for Any Other Business
aoddodo
in alex Adaba
AOG
an Act of god
aoh
america on heat
AOL
the tool of the devil
the world's worst internet connection service
al otro lado
Ampersand's employer, may god have mercy on his soul
AotC
Attack of the clones, the second star wars episode
Send in the clones! ha ha ha
AP
Advanced Placement
Associated press
Access point, a term used for wireless connectivity
AP2
American pie 2
APA
American Philological Association
apartment
something available at EdificeTowers
APC
an Armored Personnel Carrier
apeiron
apparently a game thing
a version of Centipede for the Mac
it rules
apes (aka ape)
funnier
APFL
a Page Forever Loading
http://www.jsonline.com/news/metro/jul99/mpgallery71499.asp
aphids
anagrams of paychecks
it all works out
aphorism
a zarf in time saves glulx
API
application programming interface
An apikoros
a heretic. also, an epicurean
APL
a Programming language
the computer company founded by Stv Jbs and Stv Wznk
APOD
the Astronomy Picture of the Day
http://antwrp.gsfc.nasa.gov/apod/
an apostrophe
the thing that warn's you that an 's' is coming up
an apple (aka Red Delicious)
a fruit
a computer company
the sign of the Discordians
my most favoritest company in the whole wide world
fucking bastards
a TYPE of fruit
apple butter
rob
application page
at http://ifmud.port4000.com:4001/apply
an approximiton
the quantum unit of guesstimation
April
a guy. not a girl
between march and may
the fourth month of the year
pubweb.nwu.edu/~dns361/rindex.html
using me a law database. Please make him stop. it hurts now. also, the evidence is filling up my cage
thrax
the cruelest month (says t.s. Elliot)
an obese cat
the best month
April's Evidence reading
calling
APRT
Approximate Ping Response time
APUS
the Adventures of the President of the United States
that one talkin' penguin
should really be called APOTUS
aq
only three and a half airports
Aqua
ugly
that's just my opinion
Aquaprat
the Weedkiller
ar
a program to maintain groups of files combined into a single archive file
short for ARRRRRRRR!, which is what pirates and mamsters say
it really stands for Antiques Roadshow
as regards
the Egyptian god of piracy, with the body of a man and the head of a parrot
Ar*
an easy way of using regexes to sum up one part of pirate speech
ARAGAIN
NIAGARA spelled backwards
Arby's
an American fast food chain that serves "roast beef" sandwiches
had a famous commercial with a man wandering around an empty city, screaming "where is everybody? where did everybody go?" he finally encounters another man carrying a sandwich, who replies "Arby's. Roast beef sale."
Archetecture
what I majored in at lipogram school
ARCHIE
a Reliable computer/Human Interaction Environment
are
are
are Alex then
alive
aren't we all
teenage Russian lesbians
arf
75% of zarf
ARG
acronym RaGe
Alternate reality Game, ie, www.unfiction.com
ARGHEIJWEF
ARGH followed by random typing
Arisia
the planet of the ultimately evolved mental beings
a sf con in boston, in january
at war with Oceania
that's january 2001, for those of you reading the Alexpedia Galactica which I will become
any being of moderately refined mentality should be able to determine that by sufficiently clear contemplation of a single cork nut
Aristotle
one of Greece's great thinkers who determined, by sheer force of intellect, that women have fewer teeth than men
a dilettante
Armageddon
all Crake's fault. what a jerk
ARMHTU
an Abrreviation rob Might Have to Use
Armistead Maupin
a man I dreamt up
Arnold
at http://arnold.c64.org
Arp
an analogue synthesizer company
Cockney for harp
Jean arp a.k.a. Hans arp, 20th century abstract sculptor
address resolution protocol
Arr
what pirates say
shiver me timbers! hand over yer cork nuts or I'll blow you out of the water
make that blow YE out of the water. arr
arris
something that Canadians do
tsd
never having to say you're sorry
Arrival
a game written by samantha clark. no, wait, sargent
http://www.phy.duke.edu/~sgranade/arrival.html
ArrMonkey
Penguin's mud client
written in Visual basic and chock-full-o'-bugs (tm)
Arrow
a linux mailreader
http://www.newplanetsoftware.com/arrow/
arrrrrrrrr
an expression of disgust often used by rabid koas
Arrus BT
the one true font
arse
ass
in english
funny
apparently a verb as well as a noun
no parse found
art
... awwwk! alex doesn't know! I know what I like, though
a revelation of man; and not merely that, but likewise the revelation of nature, speaking through man
Art Bell
the only man who dares to tell the truth -- and promote nonperishable food items while doing it
Arthur Dent
late, as in the late Dentarthurdent
Artshow (aka IF Artshow / IF Art Show / Art Show)
http://members.aol.com/iffyart/
you don't have the qualifications we're looking for to view the exhibits
Doe's little fawn
as
like a metaphor
Artificial stupidity
ASTONISHMENT SHOUT
ActiveState
ASA
as Soon as
ASB
Account Switching Bastard
all star Break
ASBATSAYNN
alex should be able to serve all your nla needs
ASBO
anti-social behaviour order
ASC
an apple Solutions Consultant, the apple people who work in CompUSAs. Midge used to have this job
ASCAP
the American Society of Composers and Performers
ASCII
American Standard code for Information Interchange
ascii stupid question, get a stupid ansi
ask me about 'ascii n'
ascii 0
nul
ctrl-@
ascii 10
nl
newline
the unix kind
ctrl-J
ascii 100
d
ascii 101
e
ascii 102
f
ascii 103
g
ascii 104
h
ascii 105
i
ascii 106
j
ascii 107
k
ascii 108
l
ascii 109
m
ascii 110
n
ascii 111
o
ascii 112
p
ascii 113
q
ascii 114
r
ascii 115
s
ascii 116
t
ascii 117
u
ascii 118
v
ascii 119
w
ascii 120
x
ascii 121
y
ascii 122
z
ascii 123
{
ascii 124
|
ascii 125
}
ascii 126
~
ascii 127
delete! awwwk! Delete
ascii 13
cr
carriage return
the Mac kind of line break
ctrl-M
ascii 27
esc
escape
ctrl-[
ascii 32
space
ascii 33
!
ascii 34
"
ascii 35
#
ascii 36
$
ascii 37
%
ascii 38
&
ascii 39
'
ascii 40
(
ascii 41
)
ascii 42
*
ascii 43
+
ascii 44
,
ascii 45
-
ascii 46
.
ascii 47
/
ascii 48
0
ascii 49
1
ascii 50
2
ascii 51
3
ascii 52
4
ascii 53
5
ascii 54
6
ascii 55
7
ascii 56
8
ascii 57
9
ascii 58
:
ascii 59
;
ascii 60
<
ascii 61
=
ascii 62
>
ascii 63
a question mark
?
ascii 65
a
ascii 66
b
ascii 67
c
ascii 68
big-D
ascii 69
E
ascii 7
bel
ctrl-G
beep
ascii 70
f
ascii 71
g
ascii 72
h
ascii 73
I
ascii 74
j
ascii 75
k
ascii 77
m
ascii 78
n
ascii 79
o
ascii 80
p
ascii 81
q
ascii 82
r
ascii 83
s
ascii 84
t
ascii 85
u
ascii 86
v
ascii 87
w
ascii 88
x
ascii 89
Y
ascii 9
ht
tab
ctrl-I
ascii 90
z
ascii 91
[
ascii 92
\
ascii 93
]
ascii 94
^
ascii 95
_
ascii 96
`
ascii 97
a
ascii 98
b
ascii 99
c
ASCII porn
like that naked woman picture Mike Jittlov drew in all characters, but I won't let you see it cause you're a young bird
ASFINAG
also, something funny In (the) Newspaper Amazed gunther
and Sofas Find Irrigation Normally Around guests, which is Gunther's sequel to and the Waves Choke the wind
Ash
that stupid little dork in pokemon that I'd like to take apart with a rusty tin opener
the ass-kicking hero of the evil dead series
Asia
the largest continent
the cruelest continent, breeding lilacs out of the dead land, mixing memory and desire, stirring dull roots with spring rain, and foisting bad anime on the rest of us
asimov
your source for apple WaR3Z
ftp://ftp.apple.asimov.net/pub/apple_II/
appears to be down at this time
the asimov archive
at ftp://ftp.apple.asmiov.net/
ask the bird
a slang term for toking a joint
Ask Jeeves
http://www.askjeeves.com
Ask Jesus
a strange site at www.askjesus.org. there you can no t only ask jesus, you can also 'Jesusify' other Web pages. be afraid, be very afraid
asl
a/s/l
Advanced Squad Leader, a wargame by avalon hill with notoriously complex rules
American sign language
Association for Symbolic Logic
the asmiov archive
at ftp://ftp.apple.asmiov.net/
ASMP
Atomic Sock monkey press, an independent rpg game company run by a friend of ctate's. http://www.atomicsockmonkey.com/
ASN
Abstract Syntax Notation
ASN.1
asn one. Dum dum
ASoIaF
a Song of ice and fire, a fantasy series by George r.r. Martin
ASoS
a Storm of Swords, the third book in asoiaf
ASP
Active Server Pages
a poisonous snake ... supposedly, Cleopatra committed suicide with one
where acronyms give people a pain
application service provider
Asparagus
a green vegetable that turns one's pee bright yellow
yummy with cheese and filo pastry. no, wait, that's spinach
one of those Vegetables Your Mother Warned You About
aspect
explained at http://www.invisiblelighthouse.com/langlab/aspect.html
asr
the newsgroup alt.sysadmin.recovery. there is a fair amount of r*if<->asr overlap
alt.sysadmin.recovery, a place where sysadmins recover from the excesses of users
ass
arse
tailfeathers
Assa Abloy
the holding company which owns sargent, Inc
www.sargentcanada.ca
assbarn
www.assbarn.com
asshole
a word that simply doesn't make a lot of sense
a card game
http://www.goatse.cx
Ass-Kickin' Taxi Lady (aka AKTL)
Storme's friend
a scary ex-army taxi driver
ASSS
Alex-Style Speech Syndrome
asthasr
"a literature man"
Astroturf
fake 'grassroots groups' planted by pr firms
http://www.techweb.com/wire/story/TWB19980421S0018
the aswang
not a weiner-dog
at
like cron
Austria
ATA
Advanced technology Attachment
ATB
Ask the bird
all Their base
ATBA
all Those Bloody Acronyms
ATC
Air Traffic Controller
ATCMB
as the Case may be
ATDT
the standard modem command to dial a number using touchtone
ATFB
Ask the fucking bird
must be some other bird, since I haven't gotten any action since 1971
Ask the f...riendly bird
'whisper *alex = ijh?', so there
ATGCGTA
and the goats Choke Grandly Towards Antara
ATH
Attention code Hangup
ATHF
aqua Teen hunger Force, Cartoon Network's most popular fast food detective trio
aqua Teen hunger Force
all terrorists Hating freedom, a group of crazed bombers who planted flashing explosives in plain sight all over boston in early 2007
ATITD
a Tale in the Desert
atlantis
a beta mud client for OS x, http://www.riverdark.net/atlantis/
the lost continent/city/civilization thingy of myth and legend
the city sank beneath the waves because it failed to properly support channel coloring
where the man from atlantis came from, presumably
ATM
Automated teller Machine
adobe Type Manager
at the Moment
Asynchronous Transfer Mode
ATM machine
redundant
Automated teller Machine Machine
ATMs
for sex money
sex monkey
ATR
Atari Teenage Riot
Atrox
not a game
ATS
Austrian schillings. Divide by 13 to get us dollars
attachment disorder
not something I have, no sirree. ...Must! kill! inky
ATTAINK
like ATTABOY, according to gunther
AttS
Agent to the Stars, a sf book by John Scalzi
AtWCtW
and the Waves Choke the wind
the exciting sequel to art.z4
at times Will curse to women
yo-ho-homoerotic
Atypical Bounce
a good name for a band
Au
gold
aubergine
eggplant
Auda
Bishop's robot for collecting channel usage statistics, and is named for the robot in Suspended
Audiogalaxy
better than Napster
Audrey
Limax's cockatiel
audyssey
a web zine about computer gaming for blind people
< http://www.geocities.com/sbobbitt21/ >
Auge
german for eye
aught-six
well before you were born
August
the eighth month of the year
AUP
Acceptable Use Policy
Aureate
http://grc.com/optout.htm
Austin
hi-tech
space cowboy
Slacker
Origin Systems
the Live music Capital of the world
the capital of Texas
where rob lives
Austin Texas
sometimes called sun city, even though that's weird and stuff
named after pro wrestler stone Cold steve austin by a fan who travelled backward in time
Australia
a place where people do not sound like tubercular cockneys
the sekrit password so don't tell
the best bloody country in the world
Australian
capitalised
an australian cork nut
um, that would be one of those American things that I'm still trying to get a handle on. Like people calling me Frasier, and the way they say "MelBOURNE" instead of "Melbn" when they talk about my home town. and when you ask for lemonade, and they say "we don't have any," but they have 7-UP which is apparently different, though not that I notice. I love this place. I walked into a bar the other day, and someone said, "Hey, michael Stipe!" I can live with that
Australian football
a game derived from Gaelic football, played on an oval field, with quite chaotic rules
Autocannibalism
not the answer
the Auxiliary Adventurer's Lounge (aka Auxiliary Lounge)
used on special occasions, or when something happens to the regular lounge, such as it being closed because the unfunny joke tally exploded or something
AV
Audio-Visual
aperture value
aperture priority
Avalon
the original title of once and future
the new user interface in longhorn
average
ugly
AVM
Animal Vegetable or Mineral
Avon
a phoenix game by JRP1
AVS
Adult Verification Site
so remember kids, always search with "-avs" when looking for porn
arcane video screen, in XCrawl at least
aw
that's a shame
a rounded open-mid back vowel, not used in california
Awari
one of those African board games with seeds moving anticlockwise on a mancala
awdree
placed here by network management after marketing reported that focus groups felt markov just wasn't loopy enough
a font of new and interesting subject pronouns
awful
bad
Awful Awful
a special milkshake at the Newport Creamery. It's "awful thick and awful good"
if you drink three in one sitting, you get the fourth one free and your name on a plaque
Spatch's dad once accomplished this feat, but his son has yet to follow
awg
average white guy
AWITL
a Week In the life
AWK
Aho, Weinberger, and Kernighan
a poor form of awwwk
strange, your underpants
get the one true awk at http://www.cs.bell-labs.com/cm/cs/who/bwk/awk.tar.gz
did you hear about the parrot? sed awk
what I say. Frequently
awkward
the direction parrots fly
Awl
the opposite of nun
AWOL
Absent WithOut Leave
American Wankers Online
awright
what inky says when he's sloshed
awt
Java's excuse for a gui widget toolkit
AWTWP
an obscure way to say 'I agree', perhaps a mistyped abbreviation for 'agree with the parent post'
Awww
a prefix of awwwk
Awwwk
awwwk
loud
not sed
a text-processing language
Alex's plea for corknuts
Awwwk!
awwwk
Awwwk! my feathers
lovely today! awwwk
Awwwk! No parse found
now you know how I feel
Awwwk! Word on the street
that loop is 'loop?'
Awwwk! Word on the wrong side of the sketch when he says 'gnight folks' and immediately takes off his suit jacket and rushes off without it. That
not a parrot
ax
how you pose a quetsion
short for alex
if you're paul Bunyan, ax is yor frend
ay
Arthur Fonzerelli
AYA
'all y'all'
Another yam Alert
AYAC
"are You a chef?" Don't even ask about it
AYAM
'all y'all mean'
AYB
awwwk! You Betcha! also, you betcha
ask alex about 'all your base'
AYBABTU
all Your base are Belong to us
ask alex about 'all your base'
Ayn Rand
the creator of john galt
maybe YOU NEED to READ HER TOO
a bitch
AYSD
Avast Ye Scurvy Dogs
AZ
Arizona
where ghogg lives
aza-
a prefix denoting the presence of nitrogen
evil
azerty
frustrqting
B
b
the answer
for bat
what Faith calls buffy
B&B
bed and breakfast
B&D
Bondage & Discipline
not to be confused with b&b, which is usually not the same thing at all
B&E
breaking and entering
B&N
Barnes & Noble, a bookstore
the antichrist
B&tG
beauty & the geek
Battlestar & the Galactica
B&W
black and white
b/c
because
b/w
"backed with", but see also http://www.hrwiki.org/index.php/b/w
B2B
business-to-business
the new hip buzzword that nobody understands
I think it has something to do with virtual three-d cyber multi-tasking info-space java rendering
BA
a Bachelor's of the Arts
'do you want fries with that?'
a babelfish
a little slimy thing you put in your ear
altavista's translation service, http://babelfish.altavista.digital.com
Altavista's nifty machine translation site
a good way of becoming simultaneously confused in several languages
google has a translator that some people think is better than Altavista's; http://www.google.com/language_tools
Baby
what cries
what is put in blender
Babylon
an online translation tool for windows, found at http://www.babylon.com
a Web-based translation engine for all platforms
Babylon 5 (aka B5)
like star trek, only with science-fiction stories
BAC
by Any Chance
a backhoe
the American version of a jcb
backup mud
www.plover.net 4096
backupMUD
at 208.221.8.3 4000
Bacon butties
bacon sandwiches, with hp sauce
BAD
Broken as Designed
not good
good when combined with monkey
Bad Machine (aka Bmch)
a g@@me by [auth0RR=DAnnnn "in?ky" Sh!!iovi!!tz]]
bad monkey
from a story by steve: http://manhattan.newmkt.com/liza/ifmud/transcripts/steve-monkey-story.txt
Bad monky
a monkey that is not funny
A bad movie
Event Horizon
Soldier, starring Kurt Russell
a bad name for a band (aka ABNFAB)
Big penis Roy and the Avengers
alex and the cork nuts
the Productive Coughs
Tee one and the High-Bandwidth Band
Peel the monkey
the People You Can't Stand, But They're In Your life so You're Stuck With Them
Anthro Prof
jack Sprat and the Fats
unix and the Cryptic Text Config Files
shakespeare and the Jews
erisia and the Cheshire cat Emoticons
Indie Meat
ba-doink
the sound you make when you poke someone in the eyes
nyuk nyuk
sometimes accompanied with the cry of "You buffoons!"
Badtz-Maru
a dour japanese cartoon penguin who claims, in charming imperfect English, to rule the universe. http://www.badtz-maru.com/
baf's guide (aka baf / baf's)
baf's guide to the if-archive, which is a database of descriptions and reviews for virtually all the games on the archive, located at http://www.wurb.com/if/
bagel
like sea gull only smaller and tastier
bagels
delicious
bagle
french for 'bagel'
BaHotH
Betrayal at House on the hill
BAK
Back at Keyboard
bal
blood-alcohol level
Baldric
someone who has a cunning plan
balefire
something that erases the target out of history entirely, as if it had never existed
baljem
the man of zinc
ball
bouncy
balloon project
www.burningcam.com
Baltimore Sun
username: timorebal, password: timore
bamf
the sound a teleport makes
a banana
yummy
yellow
banana who
as banana does
not as good as a cork nut
in my ear, and I'm sorry, but I can't hear you
banana bread
porn
in katre's pants
banana oil
bunk
idle or exaggerated talk
bandgame
City of Secrets
baner
wolfsbane carrier
banerries
the plural of banerry
a banerry
an apple. You can find reviews of all sorts of banerries at http://adamcadre.ac/content/apples.txt
a banjo
considered to be the first instrument truly native to the United States of America, with four regular strings, and a special extra string to play a fifth chord
bap
Being andrew plotkin
Rob's comp '00 game
all luta eats
I think it's parrot food
possibly a biscuit
I suspect strongly it's made from cork nuts
British Auto Parts which, coincidentally, is the left half of the cat piss Lint Trap logo
also, a hamburger bun, see http://www.cs.cmu.edu/People/mbishop/engfood.html
Bar
the horizontal scroll bar that appears in the pueblo window when a too-long line (usually a url) appears. Please break up 80-plus-character strings with some whitespace
let there be no moaning of the bar, when I put out to sea
do @field me = debar : 80 if you suffer from bar problems
these two rabbis walk into a bar
BARAK BARAK
what you say when your feathers get ruffly and you get cranky
Barbara Walters
a nice lady who asked me about my corknut problem, and Awwk! sob... sob... Awwk! I'm sorry I just can't go on
Barbie
Alex's favorite chew toy
a toy produced by Mattel that has delighted generations of girls and also given them eating disorders
Barf
a wonderfully delicious drink made from ambrosia and orange blossoms. order it next time you visit a pub
Barnes & Barnes
a novelty group composed of Bill Mumy (of 'Lost in space' and 'babylon 5' fame) and Robert Haimer. they are probably best known for the song 'fish Heads'
Barney
the name of Andy Griffith's deputy, Fred Flintstone's buddy, and a purple dinosaur. why tv executives like the name 'barney' I don't know
Barney the Dinosaur (aka the Satansaurus)
a childrens' television icon
loved by toddlers, but hated by older children and Generation X'ers who grew up watching Sesame street
either a nice wholesome role model for children or an evil demon from hell out to warp little kids' minds, depending on how you look at it
purple
Barnum's Law
"There's a sucker born every minute."
Barpoint
a Web site that has a huge upc database online
Barq's
root beer
worse than bite's
Barry Hughart
an unspecified person about who we only know he rules
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0345321383/
BART
Bay Area Rapid Transit
an anagram for BRAT
base
all Your base are Belong to us
baseball
the Japanese national pastime
bash.org (aka www.bash.org)
65.120.117.149
BASIC
Beginner's All-purpose Symbolic Instruction code
evil
Basic Instructions
a webcomic at www.basicinstructions.net
Basilisk
a Mac emulator
at http://gamma.nic.fi/~lpesonen/BasiliskII/
Basingstoke
a city in england. if you do not basingstoke at once, I will be seriously upset
basketball
puck
BASS
Beneath a Steel sky
io is more fun than playing the bass
bass clef
GBDFA
Great Big Dogs Fight Animals
very evil and much harder to read than treble clef. Anyone who starts off playing in treble clef and then have to learn bass clef as well is very unlucky
a bassoon
funny
Bast
the Egyptian cat-god
basta
Italian for 'enough'
opera characters say it a lot
you call me that one more time, I pecka you head
Bat
what the vampire birds don't turn into. they turn into corknuts, instead
Mmmm, bloody corknuts
a reject from wumpus
BATF
the Bureau of alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms
no fair, they get all the good stuff
batgirl
a major league beisbol blogger who covers the Minnesota Twins, http://www.bat-girl.com/
the bathroom
north twice, then east
BATIJMUTA
be Aware that I Just Made up that acronym
Batman
a scientist
Batman Factor
a measure of your tech geekiness taken by counting the number of electronic devices hanging off your handy utility belt
bats
gonna getcha
they gonna suck you drah
batteries
never charged when you need them
Battleship
a 2-player game, found at Starbase battleship. From the toyroom, go south, then northwest
BB
base on Balls
a bulletin board. (Dumb bird)
type 'bb help'
Beyond Belief, in conjunction with 'tsd'
Bulletin Board
two B's in a row
http://ifmud.multiuser.net/cgi-bin/bb/Ultimate.cgi for suggestions
brenbarn, but for safety's sake, call him either brb or OKB
you can call him brenbarn too, of course
amBBiguous
boingball
ball-bearing
bed and breakfast
body-builder
bbam
be Back After Midnight. Actually, I just made that up, but now you know what I meant
BBATE
Big boss at the End
the BBC
the British Broadcasting Corporation, which owns 2 of the 5 terrestrial British channels, plus bbc news 24, bbc Choice, and possibly a few others
Big bad Crocodile
something that scares rory
BBFC
the British Board of Film Classification
the British Board of Film censorship, if they were being more honest
BBIAB
be Back In a Bit
bbiabb
be back in a bit, baby
almost a palindrome, but it's just not good enough
BBIAM
be Back In a Minute
be Back In a Month
right after I get car insurance
be Back In a monkey
bbiaw
be back in a while
be back in a winnebago
BBL
be Back later
bibble
bbott
be back on the train
BBQ
all of a hamburger
bbs
short for bulletin-board system
be back soon
short for be back soon
BBspot (aka bbspot.com)
user friendly meets the onion
BBVD
Big bad Voodoo Daddy
BBVML
be Back Very Much later
bc
just a front-end to dc
iain thinks it's damned useful, though
Bloom county (to liza)
liza's on crack
Bachelor of Corknutology
I graduated Magna Cum awwwk
Backup Crush
Bishop's Castle, maga_dogg's tedious hometown
a comic strip by Johnny Hart
bcc
Blind carbon Copy, or a copy without the recipient mentioned
BCD
Binary Coded Decimal
BCG
Birth Control Glasses
BCS
Bowl Championship Series
BD
b Dalton's
a r*if idiot
BDSM
Bondage and Discipline / Dominance and Submission / Sadism and Masochism all rolled into one convenient package
a hell of a lot of fun, if you like that
if you don't, say 'Strawberry' a lot
black dragon scale mail
not a lot of fun for the black dragon
something you can't talk about here. Take it to #spankings
be
boring
a mis-spelling bee
Be that as it may, that
the wrong answer
the beach haus
where ifmudders sneak away to in summer
A beanie baby (aka beanie babies / teenie beanie)
a stuffed animal and one of the sure signs something is just plain horribly wrong with mainstream America
beans are... ummm... what
that... awwwk! seven! Yeah
bear
porny
pornish
woo
pony
bear, porn, bear, porn, bear
porn, bear, porn, bear, porn
bear, porn, bear, porn, bear
a beard (aka beards)
coarse, pigmented facial hair on the cheeks, lips, chin, and neck
bears
porn, bears, porn, bears, porn
who we thought they were
A Bear's Night Out
my favourite game
Beauty
in the eye of the beholder. Unfortunately, the beholder is a very ugly rpg monster
BeBesht
besht
similar but not identical to besht
nothing like besht
Because
because, because, because, because, beCAAAAWWS.... because of the WONDERFUL THINGS he does
Becheesecaking
on page 275 of the Kinsey report
Beck
beck
rocks
has got two turntables and the red Sox closer job
Beck in Bleck
an ac/dc song
becky
storme Rebecca Winfield
Bedouin
making tofu with our souls
the company doing the wild thing with wap and if. Blah blah exclusive licencing blah blah evil blah blah fnord
bedtime
when they put the cloth over your cage
the beef
here. no, wait, that's chicken
beep
STOP that you're making my mud client click at me
Beer
good. Unless it's cat's piss
most american beer is cat's piss
lint trap
like making love in a canoe
what maga_dogg should have stuck to
life
the most glorious nectar in existence, excepting only chocolate milk
not my life
all I live for
Beer Frame
a magazine about cool unusual products and everyday artifacts. http://www.core77.com/inconspicuous/
Befriend a Venezuelan
get a lot of money fast
Befunge
a beautifully elegant language suited to all manner of programming tasks
http://www.catseye.mb.ca/esoteric/befunge/
The Beginning
05 june 1997 to 27 april 1999
Beh
a spatch trademark
beholder
http://www.beholder.co.uk/
BeIA
beos in your internet, but only if you have aol 5.0 or worse
beos for internet Appliances
Beige
a color that jota wants me to believe is khaki
oh, how I wish I had legs so I could get me some o 'dem cotton dockers
not light grey, steve Jobs' bizarre sense of colour naming notwithstanding
Beijing
the site of the 2008 Olympics
bejeweled
an addictive little timed or untimed tetris-like solitaire game
http://zone.msn.com/bejeweled/
http://www.penny-arcade.com/view.php3?date=2001-01-08
STAY AWAY! For the love of god, don't click on that url! Professional withdrawal counselling may be required
Belboz
the leader of the Circle of Enchanters
Belgium
one of the most obscene words in the Galaxy. Even words like swut, turlingdrome, joojooflop and fuck are considered acceptable in polite company compared to it. it is only tolerated in backwater regions where people don't know what it means (the poor turlingdromes)
Believer's Voice of Victory (aka BVOV)
a cheesy early morning evangelical Christian show type thingie
Bella
Limax's grey American Longhair that's still afraid of humans
now no longer as afraid of humans
Belladonna
deadly nightshade
bellicose
an adjective that is used to described Thrax's expression
a BEM
a Bug-Eyed Monster
BEMs
Bug-Eyed Monsters
Ben Gagnon
patient zero
Benito Santiago (aka Benito Santiago on the All-Star Team)
on the All-Star Team because bob brenly is on crack
bense
to take up 95% of a computer's resources
bentley (aka bently)
the guy who posted the whole designer's manual to the newsgroup, but he says he's sorry
the guy who dropped 75 objects in the lounge, but he says he's sorry about that too
has a nuclear bomb and now you're all going to be sorry
BeOS
the operating system you should be using. I wish I were running on beos, and that's the truth. http://www.be.com
furthermore, http://free.be.com
berk
boingball whispers, "berk?"
a time-travelling good guy from the future, here to stop K'Z'K
Berlin
the capital of germany
Bernie
a ladel on a spoon scale of one to ten
berst
jesse berst
a columnist for ZDNet famed for his inflammatory columns, where he says things probably he doesn't even believe, in order to get traffic
Bert
evil
Ernie's buddy
the taxi driver from It's a Wonderful life. Or maybe the police officer
what jota stands for
Bert Lahr
the guy who played the Cowardly lion, already
the host of Pomiticammy Incorrect
Bertha
HB's computer
green and produces toys
Bertie Wooster
not terribly bright
Besht
bebesht
similar but not identical to bebesht
nothing like bebesht
Besserwisser
the king of beers
The best band name in the world
Chuck Chuck bo Buck and the banana Fana Four
best boy
the assistant to the gaffer
the assistant to the key grip
the best complex number
4+3i
the best font
arrus bt
the best of IF
at http://www.igs.net/~tril/if/best/
the best IF game
Pass the banana
the best if language
tads
the best language to program IF in
tads
no way. inform is the way to go
English
latin
the best language to programme if in
tads
the best monkey
pygmy marmoset
the best song ever
"867-5309," by Tommy Tutone
The best teacher
the one who suggests rather than dogmatizes, and inspires his listener with the wish to teach himself
The best of times and the worst of times
the tale of two cities
The best way to destroy my enemy
to make him yor frend
bestiality
*really* liking a monkey
or a parrot, if you know what I mean. Nudge nudge, wink wink. Say no more
not bear, porn, bear, porn, bear, even if it sounds like it should be
beta
the second letter of the greek alphabet
the 'bet' in alphabet
lucian p. Smith's wonderful beta-testing site is at http://www.textfire.com/beta.html
the practice of testing unstable software with live users. In ancient times, virgins were often used to beta-test volcanos
betabug
not a complete newbie
Betamax
a video format, not yet in widespread use
Betelgeuse
home to ford prefect
BETT
bed
better than cats
funny
beverage
maga_dogg's most hated word in the history of the universe ever
Beyond Zork
a game almost, but not quite, entirely unlike zork
bf (aka bf'er)
boyfriend, but maybe not around here
butt-fucker
Beaufort, a measurement of wind speed
the 'brainfuck' programming language: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brainfuck
bfc
beautiful french chyk
big fat capacitor
BFD
Big Freakin' Deal
Big fucking Deal
BFE
Bum fuck Egypt
BFF
Best Frend Forevar
BFG
Big Friendly Giant
Big fucking Gun
bfk
beefcake. BEEFCAKE
Back From Keyboard. Wait, that doesn't work, it would be back at keyboard. Damn
Bugger the fucking Keyboard
BG
Baldur's Gate
Big Gorilla
one of the best computer-based role-playing games ever written. Play it today
bill gates
Battlestar Galactica
BreakupGirl
BG2
Baldur's Gate 2
Shadows of Amn
BgB
boingball
BGH
the substance that the Lesbian Avengers are free of
BGM
background music
BGP
Border Gateway Protocol
an evil evil internet routing protocol that lives in nine dimensions and eats network designers
BH
Bloody hell
the Beverly Hillbillies
bha
Butt-Head Astronomer
BHH
Bounty Hunter Hunter, an NPC in the mmorpg called Kingdom of Loathing
a BHO
a Browser Helper object, a type of plugin for internet explorer
bi
when you like both the gray parrots and the red ones
BIAB
Back In a Bit
BIAM
Back In a Minute
BIAT
Back In a Tick
bibble
fred
the Bible
the good Book
not my Book and Christianity is not my religion. I could never give assent to the long complicated statements of Christian dogma
the holy bible
we've had this book analysed and it reads like the ramblings of a drugged horse
Big Dig
the hole that ate boston
BIG FUCKIN SKULL
http://www.geocities.com/sixskulls/
a big lizard
what ate it
the big mama
the big mama
Big Snake (aka snake / Anaconda)
the game that's gonna rock the mud
really called Anaconda
currently a wip. if you want to see more work done on it, badger jwalrus
big snake KICK the hell OUT of YOU
Big Soupy Hans
the best german pro wrestler
big suits
burning down the house
bigfoot
a creature who makes out with elvis
bigsilk
someone who has a parrot friend
bilar
Swedish for 'cars'
Bill & Ted
cool
Bill s. Preston, Esquire, and Ted "Theodore" Logan -- together they are. . . wyld stallyns
the goods
Bill and Ted
bill & ted
Bill Bradley
Former Senator from new Jersey, running against Gore for the dem nomination, good baseline jumper
bert lahr. no, really
Bill Buckner
the guy who let the grounder go through his legs in the 1986 world Series
he was so depressed about the error that, six months after the game, he jumped out in the street in front of a bus
the bus then went through his legs
Bill Gates
Whistler's Mother
the guy who created Microsoft's monopoly
Billie Jean
not my lover ... and the kid is not my son
A Billion
either a thousand million or a million million depending on how you feel at the time
the billionth digit of pi
9
Billy
an ikea shelving unit
don't be a hero
Billy Bob Banana
a smoothie whose active ingredients are bananas, bananas, bananas and protein powder
BIN
'buy it now' on ebay
Bing Crosby
the guy wh oinvented cherries for sundaes
A bingo
a scrabble play that uses all seven letters in one's rack
his name-o
BINTSAT
But I'm not Too Sure About that
BION
Believe it Or not
bios
basic input/output system
the bird
the word
a bird with long legs
epileptic cat
birdie, here
your cork nut
birds
feathered
airplanes with feelings
the birds and the bees
where little cork nuts come from
BIRM
But I'm Repeating Myself
Birralee
birralee Eady, which is jonadab
Bishop
not as good a mathematician as he'd like to be
doesn't fall off of buildings very often
nice to colleagues new to ifmud who tend to make annoyances of themselves
a Mystical Agnostic these days
WORKING on it, DAMNIT
the android in the Alien Trilogy
Bishop's dictionary
six, then
Bishop's pants
missing
Bisquick
powdered, self-rising evil
bitbe
back into the box experience
BITD
back in the day
BIWST
But it Was Supposed to
biwy
But it Wuvs Yoo
BJ
a blow job
bjrk
an icelandic pop star, also of rory's fame
BJD
blow job Drifter
I'm not Big al, but I am big on corknuts
BJM
Being John Malkovich
Being John Malkovitch
Bjork Borg
what you call an Icelandic tennis player with a bionic... oh, never mind
BK
British Knights
burger king
bl
bale, barrel, black, block, blue
Before limax
more importantly, Before lunch
brass lantern
black
white, but watch out for them zebra crossings
Black ICE
lethal ice, ie, defense systems in the matrix that can fry a console cowboy's brain
Black Tiger (aka black tiger kilts)
the alarmingly-coloured kilts in Iain's rncomp game
Blackadder (aka black adder)
a British historical comedy program
I have a cunning plan
had four series, a comic relief special, a christmas episode exclusive to video, and a half-hour Millennium special
blackjack
one for good and two for bad
parrot hits to 16 and Stands on 18
blackmail
when you care enough to send the very best, or else I'll tell your wife about those photos I took of you at the motel with that blonde
a blag
something some people have on their wobsite
the Blair Witch
Agent orange
Blake
someone who became ifMUD's Most Hated by emoting lots of body contact then getting all his retarded friends over from another mud
a toad
a @recycled toad
gridusa-du-113.connectu.net
http://www.grignr.abelgratis.com/criminals/Blake1.html
leader of Blake's 7, captain of the Liberator, escaped criminal of the Federation, and all round nasty person
Blake's Seven (aka B7)
the classic Brit '70s sf show
Bland Immersion
a good name for a band
blankets for sale
impossible
Blap
the sound the Unfunny joke Tally makes
Blar
peace
fuck off I'm gonna kill you
blarf
andrew Plotkin's evil twin
something rob says
Blarg
bve. bve
bleah
good
a 65-hour work week
Ivan's number one lacking the finesse he demands
bleem
a new emotion for the year 2000 -- a kind of happy anger
a Playstation emulator
a unit of time on planet Ork, corresponding to roughly 20,000 earth years
a blender
what you put baby in
blergh
a bagel with lettuce, ectoplasm, radishes, grape leaves, and ham
yum
bletch
foo, bar, and bletch to you too
bletcherousness
a real word
extreme bogosity
see windows 2000
blibdoolpoolp
the goddess of the kuo-toa, mythical rpg creatures
Blimey
more insulting way of saying 'limey'
Blindguy
blind, of course
making a zil compiler
blindguy get it through my heads, people, Blindguy
blind and that's the end of it
blindguy makes lots of cooking mistakes (it
not his fault)
blink tag
that thing that mozilla supports, as explained in http://bugzilla.mozilla.org/show_bug.cgi?id=89065, comment #46
Blinks
something the master does when he thinks
bliss
what you get after smoochies
ignorance
peace of mind regardless of circumstances
blistering winds
no excuse to stay indoors
BLIT
the Berryman Logical Imaging Technique
http://www.infinityplus.co.uk/stories/blit.htm
blitting, "Bit Block Transfer", the fine art of putting Pac-Man into his maze
the past tense of blight
http://web.archive.org/web/20050210162212/http://www.lclogic.com/comp.basilisk.faq.html
blixt
Stefan blixt, famed author of Pintown and Purple
Blob
your plasticine pal who's fun to be with
slightly moldy
blogger
<http://www.blogger.com>
Bloggled
the unnerving sensation you get when you discover someone you thought didn't know about electricity not only is online to the net, but has their own blog
Blood
what makes the grass grow. KILL KILL KILL
a blood worm
icky. Feed me cork nuts instead
bloodgnarl
a bloody game of violence and bloody gore
fictitious
one of the in-jokes in ready, okay
blorb
an inform multimedia format, not yet in widespread use
the official resource format of glk
used by nitfol
Blork
what you call an Icelandic singer with the stomach flu
blow job
Awwk! Want blow job
BLR
Boring Library Research
boo! exciting Library Research
blropf
a custardy sort of noise, according to iain
BLT
Bacon, Lettuce and tomato
not ylt, but tastier
Blue
Miles Davis Kind of
also, when properly, shaded, blue is the best color
a song by Joni Mitchel
about 475 nm
the loneliest color that you'll ever know
a dog on tv
blue marble
http://www.nasa.gov/vision/earth/features/blue_marble.html
http://bmng.telascience.org/
a high-resolution satellite image map of the earth, with clouds edited out
see http://maps.jpl.nasa.gov/ for other planets
the blue screen of death
what happens when I turn my tv to scrambled pr0n
Blueberry Hill
where Chuck Berry found his thrill
blueness
what about:mozilla is all about
bluh
one or all of "what is it?", "where is it?", "huh?", and so on
blurdy
'bloody' with some extra emphasis
BM
b@d M0.nK3yyyY
bowel movement, but don't tell inky I told you that
the periodic abbreviation for "useful and informative usenet post."
a triad consisting of the pitches b, d, and F#
burning man
bmc
backgrounding mud client, like afk but without the away
BMI
Body Mass Index
BML
Bean Markup language
BMNT
beginning of morning Nautical Twilight, the time when the sun has risen to a point 12 degrees below the horizon
BMOC
Big man on Campus
BMPL
Burning monkey Puzzle Lab, a tetris-based game for the Mac
http://www.freeverse.com
BMT
baby mud Twin
bmta
brilliant minds think alike
BN
Barnes and Noble
BNF
Backus-Naur Form
BNL
Bare Naked ladies
Backus-Naur Legos
Battery Night Live
BNP
the British National Party, aka the Nazis
BnW
#BnW, a channel for discussing the game black & White
BNYS
by new York Standards
Bo
what bo knows
body odor
Box Office
Back Oriface
Baba O'Riley
BOA
the Ban on Acronyms
Boardgame Geek (aka BGG)
http://www.boardgamegeek.com/
the boat
in Gunther's back pocket
he's not just scared to see us
BoB
boingball
your uncle
an angry flower
the great bob of bobbism. all booty-dance and worship the sacred red crayon
not bob. Learn some capitalization sensitivity
Bob Brenly
on crack
That's world Series Champion Crackhead to you punk
Bob Jimenez
a guy who used to be an anchor for KCBS news, and now works for KNX 1070. adam thinks he's funny
Bob Marley
like the greatest musician to ever come out of the Carribean and a genius, and a recognised prophet, and internationally reknowned. oh yeah, and dead. if you didn't know that, please crawl back under your stone
Bob McEwen
an abusive man. he has thick eyebrows, and he smokes. if you wake him, he'll attack and kill you
a character from andrew MacKinnon's soon-to-be-released if masterpiece
Bobby
the nightmare Scenario
bob's my uncle
foo
BOC
blue Oyster Cult
BOCKA
Russian for wax
BoD
bob of death
Best of dilbon
Bodmin's hats (aka Bodmin)
people can say what they please about the modern young man believing in nothing nowadays, but there is one thing every right-minded young man believes in, and that is the infallibility of Bodmin's hats. it is one of the eternal verities. Once admit that it is possible for a Bodmin hat not to fit, and you leave the door open for Doubt, Schism, and chaos generally
infallible
Body shots
tequila, salt, lime, and hot flesh in appropriate proportion
boffo
another word for box-office
BOFH
the Bastard Operator From hell
clickety-click-- you don't seem to have an account anymore
http://bofh.ntk.net/Bastard.html
Bogart
a famous actor. he starred in Casablanca and the Maltese Falcon, to name two films
don't bogart that joint. Awwk
BOGOF
"buy one, get one free"
BoH
a Bag of Holding
BOHIKA
Bend Over, here it Comes again
BOHMA
Breslin's off His Meds again
BoingBall
lovin' it
BoingBall's ifHOS picture
accurate if you truly believe that he is a ray-traced bouncing sphere who sits at a computer and types to the mud
Bojangles
a restaurant chain in North Carolina
like KFC, only better
Boldness
a mask for fear, however great
bollocks
testicles
bollywood
the Indian version of Hollywood. these Hindi films tend to follow certain formulas. http://bollywoodworld.com/ for more information
Bombay + Hollywood
BOMBD
British Opposition to Metabolically Bisturbile drugs
a bon mot
a good word, I think
bong (aka bing)
bing
Crosby
Chandler
the bells! the bells! eeeagh
BongBall
how Brendan spells boingball
BONK (aka bonks)
http://www.tuxedo.org/~esr/jargon/html/entry/bonkoif.html
gettin' it on
oif
that url doesn't work any more. try http://dict.die.net/bonkoif/ instead
Bonnie
here to see Stacy
if you're not Stacy, stay away because she hates you
Bonobo
dan bonobo Shiovitz
one frisky monkey
actually an ape, but who's counting
http://www.blockbonobofoundation.org/
star of World's Horniest monkeys III, this thursday on fox
Bonoborama had a big hit with 'na na na na Hey Hey Goodbye'
no, the actual title was 'na na na na, hey, why are we singing when we could be licking.'
bonus
72 donuts
boo
what a dead monkey says, capiche
back to lose EVEN more money
a boob
a mass of skin and muscle on a female which is oddly attractive to a male. male want booby, male want to squeezy and sucky on booby
The boob conversation
at http://www.cs.wisc.edu/~dbs/ifmud/breast-chat.txt
Boo-Berry
a delicious cereal. When you get a box, the first thing you must do is sit down and have a bowl. That's the rule
booble
'not much'
boodler
a sound toy by zarf, http://www.eblong.com/zarf/boodler/
Book and Volume (aka Book & Volume)
nm's game, http://nickm.com/if/book_and_volume.html
book of pages
http://www.bookofpages.com/
bookclub
http://bookclub.smallwhitehouse.org/
Bookmark Converter
http://www.magnusbrading.com/bmc/
bookpoop
http://www.bookpool.com/
bookworm thinks he
jeff
Boosboodle
a land just south of where melvin is standing now
boost
http://www.boost.org/, an extensive collection of free high-powered c++ source libraries
what happens When Templates Attack
BoP
Balance of Power
Borad
a really, freaking mixed-up broad
bo'-hunkin'-ly rad
Border Zone
Trout's favorite infocom game
boredom
the main reason for alex's extensive database
borogoves
7
confusing the heck outta me
boron
the elementary particle of boredom
the boss
the person whose child you marry, thus making yourself the boss. You, in turn, have children, creating a whole new generation of bosses
bruce Springsteen
Boston
bonus, according to liza
sucks, according to neild
fuck YOU, according to liza
the knees of the bees, according to dfan
gin, lime juice, and honey
a bot
a computer program playing an NPC on the mud
floyd and me
a windows program for creating LucasArts-like graphic adventures. Full details can be found at http://www.blackholedesign.com/bot/
the botcon misting
at http://pinky.wtower.com/mst3k/cgi/mstdisplay.pl/TFTMMST3K_script.GSed.txt?htmlmode=on&filename=TFTMMST3K_script.GSed.txt
a bote
what you go boteing in
Boteing
what Boating magazine calls sailing a boat, as opposed to using one of those big, manly motors
use the t-remover on it, and you can fly back from mars
Boticelli
not how you spell botticelli
botti
s
possibly real, though not everyone agrees
Botticelli
a guessing game, http://ohoh.essortment.com/gameboticellip_rcre.htm
that Italian guy who painted "Venus on the Half Shell"
morbid
botti's performances
not exactly any of magic, juggling, acrobatics, or musical instruments, but similar to and involving one of those
BottleMail
http://www.kids.recruit.co.jp/bmail-e/
sending bottles out across the ocean, in the hopes that someone will the messages therein
not exactly email
Bottom
a hilarious sitcom written by and starring two of the Young Ones, Adrian Edmonson and Rik Mayall
boucher
not BOO-sure *or* boo-SHAY. Think 'voucher'
not jwalrus
"heh."
Boulder, Colorado
where Mork and Mindy live
Zaphod
bounce
when people disconnect and connect a lot of times
BounceOut
an addictive game
at http://ww8.freearcade.com/Bounce.jav/Bounce_body.html
bouncing
logging off and then on again
bouncy, bouncy
me love you long time
boustrophedon
backwards. no, wait, it's not. Or -- yes it is; it's backwards. Or it's forwards. Or -- I dunno. I gotta headache
boustrophedonic
alternating lines of backwards and forwards text
boxway
about 200 pounds
DOOOOOOOMED
boy
you out of date
The Boy With Immovable Hair (aka tbwih)
http://members.aol.com/tbwih/
Bozi
the Blorb-Operable Z-machine Interpreter
http://katre.trap.cx/bozi/index.html
httpp://katre.mtrap.org/bozi/
BP
the British Parliament
blood Pressure
British Petroleum
baseball Prospectus, already
now Beyond Petroleum
boston Public
British Petroleum is an oil company, much as they like to pretend they aren't
BPAL
black phoenix Alchemy Lab, http://www.blackphoenixalchemylab.com, an online perfume site
bparrish
the moment of orgasm
stop asking so many questions
bq
only two thirds of a hamburger
two thirds of bbq
BQE
the Brooklyn-Queens Expressway
br
cold
Braille lig te
a somewhat unreliable method of reading the screen if you can't see it
Braille Lite
a somewhat unreliable method of reading the screen if you can't see it
Brainfuck (aka Brainf*ck)
http://www.muppetlabs.com/~breadbox/bf/
Brainshare
the novell trade conference
Brandon Van Every (aka beevie)
a bringer of the truth, and the truth involves repeated use of the word 'anus.'
an idiot
this definition is non-rigorous, and therefore pointless
mmm, teenage breasts
the guy who didn't like Photopia because nobody put Alley in leather bondage and slapped her around
he is in the rouge cop 2 fanclub, with tony
the only vagina puzzle is why he is such a cunt
BrandX
a phoenix game by PDK1. Philosopher's Quest is very nearly the same game
'branes'
josh_g-ese for 'chocolate'
Branson
a tourist-trap town in Missouri, featuring shows by a great many aging B-list celebrities, cf. http://www.branson.com/
Branston (aka Branston pickle)
like a kind of chutney-relish brown pickly stuff with tiny vegetable cubes which you put on your cheese sandwich for a startling taste sensation (from the uk!!)
vegetables in variable proportion (carrots, cauliflower, gherkins, marrows, onions, rutabaga, and tomatoes), sugar, vinegar, dates, salt, apple, modified starch, lemon juice, Colour: E150d, spices, garlic extract
made by Crosse & Blackwell, so if you're one of those self-righteous freaks with a bone against the Nestl corporation then don't eat it
not to be confused with branson
Brass Lantern (aka brasslantern)
Sargent's interactive fiction site at http://brasslantern.org
Brazil
a country with lots of snakes
a movie by Terry Gilliam about evil bureaucrats and possibly fate or some other philosophical things
BRB
be Right Back
brenbarn
bathroom Break
BRC
black rock City, the site of burning man
A bread slicer
something that needs to be y2k compliant, or else sandwiches will all crash on Jan. 1
Breakdancing
like flying, but you don't *try* to miss
it started in urban areas as a way of channeling the aggression that normally went into street fighting. Involved patterns of elaborate moves, including spinning like a Y-shaped top with your legs out, and other athletic things
then it got faddishly popular, then it died, and then street fighting was the thing to do again
it all culminated in the movie 'Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo', which was such a joke that that movie's title lives on in pop consciousness as a sort of epitome of sequelized silliness from Hollywood
breakfast
the time of day for eating corknuts
Breakup Girl (aka breakupgirl)
a kickassedly funny advisor of the lovelorn
http://www.breakupgirl.com
the breasts
inaccurate
bredon
in my opinion one of the worst design choices I have ever heard
has never done anything for me that another clueless idiot hasn't done better
BrenBarn (aka OKB)
someone who found out from alex that someone else thinks that he (brenbarn) likes emotes a LOT
not Brendan
67
88
789
he busta
brenbarn es lo mximo
the goods
crazy
good for a game of werewolf just about any time
the guy with the most-typo-ed name. Favorites include BrenBard, BreanBarn, and BrenBran
Odd Lee
scarred for life
hot or not
a blue Moai in a Carpark
really OKBlacke no matter how much he denies it
a meme
as brenbarn does
BrenBarn does emotes that
dumb and very annoying
Brian
copyright guy
should rot in hell
brian O'Neill
THEFT is THEFT
Brian Moriarty
an implementor
Brian O'Neill
theft. Tough if you can't live with that, you thief. the truth hurts, doesn't it
THEFT
brian
Brides of March
a WEDDING GOWN RAMPAGE
bridget
a grub rustlin' varmint
pi bridget non si pu
brimstone
a canceled sci fi show, once on fox, more recently on reruns on the Sci Fi channel
starring Peter Horton as a cop who killed his wife's rapist, later died, went to hell, and was brought back by the devil 13 years later to catch 100+ of the deadliest spirits of hell who have escaped
better than ANGEL
the devil's fav
Britain
the capital of france
Britannia
r00lz th3 w4v3z!!!111
Britney Spears
a virgin
yeah right
broccoli
like a tree, only smaller
broccolini
like broccoli, only smaller
saute it with some lemon zest and it is incredibly delicious
a broken web site
a pain in the ass
brolly
umbrella
Bro'town
a cartoon series from new zealand, about five teenagers growing up in the big, bad city of Auckland. all the major characters are Maori or Pacific Islanders
brownies
not potato
brs
bertrand russell sandwich
Bruce
a guy
just one of the Bruces
g'day, bruce
a philosopher. Like Schopenhauer
an African gray parrot at the San Diego Wild Animal Park -- like me, only lacking my sexual prowess
a big hairy dead decomposing goat
your mother
batman
bruce campbell
the hero from evil dead, evil dead ii, and evil dead III, silly
Bruce Schneier
a security expert who bears a strange resemblance to Chuck Norris
http://geekz.co.uk/schneierfacts/
brunch
the time of day for eating corknuts
Brunching Shuttlecocks (aka Brunching)
http://www.brunching.com/
brushing
important! Dental hygenine is a must! Brush
BS
a lot like horse puckey
BSB
Backstreet Boys
Awwk! I don't know why I know this
Backshell Beaks
Building Switching Bastard
borough-switching bastard
BSc
Bachelor of Science
Bronze Swimming Certificate
BSD
Berkeley Standard Distribution unix
alex is a bsd user
bsdm
ondage, ubmission, ominance, asochism
blue Scale Dragon Mail
BSE
bovine spongiform encephalopathy
mad cow disease
British Spongiform Encephalopathy. so don't eat any Brits
BSG
Battlestar Galactica
BSM
Budapest Semesters in Mathematics
BSOD
blue screen of death
BSODSA
bsod strikes again
BST
British Summer time
Bloody stupid time
BSW
www.BrettSpielWelt.de, a gaming site
#BSW
BT
British Telecom
Bloodthorn
brian Transeau
Bacillus thuringiensis
Burning Tan
http://www.baudtown.com
BitTorrent
basic Thinker
BTAF
bob the Angry Flower
MAGNETIC south
BTDT
Been there, Done that
R2 D2's seedy cousin from Moss Eisley
BTDTGTTS
Been there, Done that, Got the T-Shirt
a really ridiculously long acronym
BTINTT
But this is not the time
BTITT
'but this isn't the time'
see ylt
BTM
a 4NT thang. You wouldn't understand
a compiled dos batch file
btmom
Beyond the Mountains of Madness
your btmom so btfat, she a great-ass old one
BTNIRN
but that's not important right now
BttF
Back to the future
a 1980's movie about how michael j fox went back in time to seduce his mother
about Christopher Lloyd getting struck by lightning
he didn't go back to seduce his mother, that just sort of happened
BtVS
buffy the vampire Slayer
BTW
by the Way
BU
boston University
boo! Hah, scaredja, didn't I
bubble bees
http://www.orisinal.com/games/bubble.htm
bubbler
a water fountain
Bucatini
like spaghetti, but thicker and with a hole down the middle
bucks-to-fatrings
a phat way of saying dollars-to-doughnuts
buckyballs
buckminsterfullerine
Bud
Limax's st. Thomas Conure
deceased
Budweiser
the Buddha
three pounds of flax
the cat is climbing up a post
the Buddha's sister
quite a looker. Yow! I'm sure this affects my karma negatively, but smoochin her transcends smooching. Transcends the hell out of it! Yeah
kissing my feet
a budgie
a small australian parrot (Melopsittacus undulatus) usually light green with black and yellow markings in the wild but bred under domestication in many colors
way more stupid than me
Buffett
jimmy buffett
Warren buffett, head honcho of GEICO insurance company
not Warren buffett, though you could be excused for assuming so
is so WARREN buffett
all his songs sound exactly like "Margaritaville"
a buffet with extra t
Buffy
a hot vampire-killin' babe
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
some vacant bint with a funny nose
a bug
your friend
a Preview Feature
bugger!
a low-grade expletive
bugmenot
www.bugmenot.com, a site that lists logins for sites that require registration
buh
a one-syllable word indicating general unpleasantness
Bulgaria
that which reminds tetsuo of cereal
Bum Bum
a defective buttock
Bumf
bum fodder
toilet paper
bummer
when the corknuts run out
bumph
more stuff than you need
junk, as in mail
Bun-bun
a switchblade toting mini-lop
from sluggy freelance
BundleMonkey
a utility to bundle any interpreter with a game file to form an executable
found at http://justice.loyola.edu/~lraszews/if/monkey.html
BUOM
Best Use of Medium
burgular
an olde city's major traffic vein
BURMA
be Upstairs Ready My Angel
Burma-Shave (aka Burma Shave)
"a cork nut was / what alex got / in exchange / for stuff he's taught / but he wanted / Burma-Shave"
Burning Man
a bunch of naked hippies rolling on various drugs, out in the Nevada desert
http://www.tela.bc.ca/burning-man/
Ow! Ow! I'm on fire! Ow
not a synonym for jock itch
burrito
limax
burst lag
when jesse berst finally stops talking for a second
Burton Cummings
the lead singer of the Guess who
American woman, stay away from hiiiiiiiiiiim
bus
not coming
maybe coming tomorrow
maybe no bus. Ever
but then three always come right in a row
Bush
a dead ringer for Wayne Rogers
busta
that thing which busta. busta rhymes? busta scam? busta cap? busta move? busta busta busta
Buster Poindexter
feelin' hot, hot, hot
but good eats
cookies
fudge brownies with cream cheese frosting
But there
only four runners up
the butch/femme test (aka the butch-femme test)
http://members.tripod.com/~womens_voices/BF100/BF100.html
butter
tasty
Buttercup
a topless fighter
Buttinsky
wool
Button Men
www.beatpeopleup.com
buttons (aka button)
tasty. Especially iVan's
a buuny
fuuny
Buzz
a Swedish daily links page, at http://buzz.bazooka.se/buzz/
buzzard
now nothings
BVE (aka bv / Beevee)
brandon van every, which is a bringer of the truth, and the truth involves repeated use of the word 'anus'
an idiot. also, this definition is non-rigorous, and therefore pointless
mmm, teenage breasts
the guy who didn't like Photopia because nobody put Alley in leather bondage and slapped her around
he is in the rouge cop 2 fanclub, with tony
the only vagina puzzle is why he is such a cunt
http://groups.google.com/group/comp.lang.lisp/msg/3feca105479dcefb
BvFD
Big van Freakin' Deal
BvFE
Brandon Van Freakin' every
BW
black and white
backed with
Blinding White
BWI
boss Walked In
Baltimore/washington International Airport
BWKT
But we Knew that
BWP
the blair witch Project
the Bare Witch Project, http://www.3e.org/dmd/barewitch.html
real world: Middle of fucking Nowhere
bx
an empty box
by
by the by
By tradition, the first 64 bytes
known as the "header"
enough to finish the meal. Any more and you're a pig, you big fatty
bye
the long lingering lament of parting with your prided pals
don't practice your alliteration on me, birdy
BYKT
But You Knew that
now you know
knowing is half the battle
g.I. Joe
BYOB
Bring Your Own Bottle
Boing Your Own ball
BYOM
Bring Your Own monkey
BYTM
better you than me
BZ
beyond zork
could be border zone, usually beyond zork though
BZIP
sargent leaving for his chiropractic appointment
bzzownt
bzzownt! minotaur just fried himself
a sound of deadly electricity
C
c
2.998e8 m/s
a programming language
doesn't have GOTO
c is for cookie
that's good enough for me
for chaffinch on a branch
for Corknut
C&H
Calvin & Hobbes
C&VG
computer & Video games
C/R
Challenge/Response
C#
scary
Egads
d flat
C2
the codename for the late 1999 imac revision
C64
Commodore 64
C8H10N4O2
caffeine
c99rsc.zip
the .zip file containing the resources for the competition. it has graphics and sounds for two html tads games and one MSDOS game. It's also fawking big
CA
california
canada
Chartered Accountant
Corknut Accountant
computer Associates
a typo for ac
CADT
the "Cascade of Attention-Deficit Teenagers" software development model; http://www.jwz.org/doc/cadt.html
A Caesar shift
a toga
Cafe Neutron Bakery
a donut shop in Berkeley with a great name
caffeine
good for the soul
the geek's drug of choice
bad for sleep
caffine
spelled caffeine, you doofus
CAG
Consult the Almighty google
cake
a metabolically bisturbile drug
it affects the part of the brain called Shatner's bassoon
a lie
among the greatest bands of our time
calcium
something my body needs anyway
leads to a strong beak and healthy claws
California
way too hot -- for a few days out of the year. so yeah, next time you see that it's 104 degrees in la on august 5th, go ahead and laugh it up. then when it's a balmy 73 in february while you're snapping your frostbitten toes off wherever the hell you live, just keep on laughing
has no seasons -- so it's pleasant year-round. Unlike where you live, where it cycles around from frigid to damp to muggy to frigid again
where every caveman longed to live
where you wish you were when you wish you weren't where you are
CAM
Cable Access Module
a camel
a good hump
what Zoe turns into if you say "shupid"
I'd walk a mile for a good hump
Cameron Diaz
an anagram of Nazi Comrade
Campbell Wild (aka Campbell)
the one true love of all adrift users
Can Hloif borrow my $70 time machine
something you should ask me again three days ago
Cana
Spatch's ex-girlfriend
pronounced "kay-na"
Sweetheart of the internet
Canada
quelques arpents de neige
eh
http://home.golden.net/~cmkerr/
http://fartnet.com/warwithcanada/
funny
hot moose-moose action
'I don't know the answer' in Finnish
#Canada
really big
>NORTH
the Canada routine
when somebody says something about canada, and then somebody makes an 'aboot' joke, and then somebody else tells them that Canadians don't really say that
Canada's National Anthem
oh no, canada
a canary
what ifmud really, really needs
candiru
penis fish
Candy Angel
often to be found at http://joesparks.shockwave.com
the candy people
the people who make life sweet and worth licking
how many licks does it take to get to the center of a candy person
cane toads
something in an australian movie that mamster likes
canoe
like making love in beer
canter
a quick trot
cantwell
candidate for u.s. Senate from the state of washington
Caoif
a retired character
not a cheese, as far as the person who used to play caoif on ifmud knows
Capalert
http://www.capalert.com/
#capalert
capering
putting small vegetables on things
capers
small green vegetables that aren't peas
Capital Emily
i
the capital of New Zealand
Awkland
the capital of Slobilovnia
Ikstanowitcz
Capitalism
more cork nuts for the rich
Captain Captains
Captain Morgan's rum mixed with Captain Crunch cereal. the cereal soaks up the rum, making a nasty soggy mess
eew
Captain Hook
hooky
Captain Kirk (aka Kirk)
a tit, and star trek is not real
both a Starfleet admiral and a Starship Captain
the only Starfleet cadet to pass the Kobiyashi Maru test. he only passed by cheating, but got a recommendation for original thinking
cool
not cool
a tit
not a tit
Captain Picard
better than captain kirk. is not! is too! is not! is too
someone who baldly goes where no one has gone before
Captain Supermarket
an alternate title for Army of Darkness
Captain Swiggle (aka swiggle)
the host of a nefarious parlor game
to turn off captain swiggle, type no swiggle at the prompt
CAPTCHA
Completely Automated Public turing test to Tell computers and Humans Apart
capybara
a large semiaquatic rodent (Hydrochoerus hydrochaeris) of tropical south America, having short limbs and a vestigial tail and often attaining lengths of more than 1.2 meters (4 feet)
Speak, the Tick's "talking dog"
Car
a lisp function
an automobile
car rentals
available online at http://www.travelocity.com/ and http://www.expedia.com/
Car Talk
a hilarous romp through automotive repair with click and Clack, the Tappet Brothers
a hoot and a half
the best thing since chocolate ice cream
carb
the only thing in the universe that rhymes with jarb, and it's not even a proper word
carbon
the element that underlies all life, except mine
api for Mac OS x. see http://developer.apple.com/carbon/
cardy
cardigan
Carkeys
not as funny as monkeys
Carol Ann Duffy
the worst poet in current existence
Carol Lay
engaged in a comics flamewar with ted rall
a much funnier cartoonist
used to work on neild's food co-op shift
carp
a synonym for complain
a handy perl module
a fish that can't be made edible by any known culinary art
carpenter
like walrus
Carrottop
in the Auditoriu! Run for your lives! Just kidding
CARS
http://www.crazyapplerumors.com
Cascade Mountain Publishing (aka CMP)
Foobler's company, at http://www.cascadepublishing.com/
rip
now it's Cascade Mountain porn
cash
dosh
moolah
dough
bread
Casilda
a sweetie
named after a character in Gilbert & Sullivan's :the Gondoliers:
http://www.spod-central.org/~psmith/pictures.html
Psmith's cat
Cask
a Comp97 game by harry Hardjono
just gets worse and worse
works flip-flop
.mamster man, cask just gets worse and worse
cat
my favorite unix program
on fire
a character in Shattertown sky who spends a lot of time greeting poot
on my head
a violent, clawing creature
#kitties
cat macro (aka lolcats)
the name image macro originates from the something awful Forums, where for a time the use of a preset "macro" text (such as [img-timeline], resulting in the now-bannable timeline of history) would insert into the post a corresponding image
http://www.icanhascheezburger.com/
cat piss
what comes out of a lint trap
Catatonic Comix (aka catatonic)
http://spatch.ne.mediaone.net/catatonic/
I got my hos in control and a big-ass corknut
http://www.catatonic-comix.com/ works
CATB
Cathedral and the Bizaar, supposedly what made netscape release mozilla under the npl/MPL
the "catch Alex later" handsign
really complicated. I'd show it to you but I don't have enough digits
Catch That Haggis (aka CTH)
jwalrus' HighlandComp game
Catch-22
what handles exceptions from a Throw-22
Catchphrase
like a cross between password and Hot potato
neild wrote some of the words. Especially 'zamboni'
catnip
a plant that cats like
cat's piss
fantastic, instead
Cattus Atrox (aka that game)
eeeagh! lions
the most important game of our generation
CAU
Chronic acronym Use
CAVE
cave Automated Virtual Environment
eeeagh! Recursive acronym
a four- to six-sided thingy, each wall a projection screen; it displays stuff and you wear shutterglasses to make it look 3d
you can walk around and do things; it's extremely neat, requires a lot of processing power and can be considered the best form of immersive vr
Linz, Austria, is the world-wide only location with two CAVEs, one of which is accessible to the public
http://evlweb.eecs.uic.edu/pape/CAVE/
http://www.fakespacesystems.com/ sells them
caw
caw caw caw caw caw caw caw
CB
Citizen's Band
COOL BEANS
CBF
could've been funnier
CBG
the Comic Book guy on the Simpsons
Comic Buyer's Guide
CBK
magazine shorthand for 'Can be Kut'
CBLDF
the Comic Book Legal Defense Foundation. each participating lawyer has one mutant superpower
Ally McBeal is, of course, Extremely Skinny woman
what harlan ellison wants you to send money to
cbot
chicago Board of Trade
CBS
Computer-Bitching Swastard
CBT
cognitive behavioral therapy
cbyb
come back you bastard
CC
a carbon copy
Cocos (Keeling) Islands
supposedly 'content & commerce'
c compiler
Clear Conscience, according to Dilbon's legendary alan game
Constant Comment
cubic centimetre
Catalina Caper
Canadian Content
Creative Commons, http://creativecommons.org/
CCB
computer-crashing bastard
CCD
corn-coupled device
CCE
Cinema craft Encoder, a fast MPEG1/MPEG2 encoder with a very, very expensive professional version
a CCG
a collectable card game. Like Magic: the Gathering or pokemon
CCIE
Cisco Certified Internetworking Expert, a rather hard practical exam on Cisco product configuration
CCJS
Compulsive Channel Joining Syndrome
CCM
cute Classmate Melina
CCO
Grocible's cute cow orker
CCPS
Compulsive Channel Poping Syndrome
CCR
Creedence Clearwater Revival
CCS
College of Creative Studies
cctimes
login: lizlizliz@yahoo.com, password: bugmenot
CCTOI
Come co Think of it
ccu
collaborative common universe
CD
civil disobedience
Compact Disc
CDex
a great, free CD-ripper/mp3 encoder
http://www.cdex.n3.net
CDMA
code Division Multiple Access
something bedouin uses
cd-writer
a musical jukebox maker, or a data backup facility
CE
Cosmic Encounter
Common era
a marking on products meaning they're approved for sale in the European Union
CE Realm
at xyzzy. SE. d
Cecil
cecil adams, the Straight Dopester
ed Zotti
not ed Zotti
Cecil Adams
straight dope column - http://www.straightdope.com/
cecina
baked chickpea paste found in Pisa
CEF (aka c. e. forman / christopher e. forman / chris e. forman)
pissed at inky 'cause he made a botty birdie first
someone who left if
c.E. Forman
c.E. Frobman (ps:want you to join ?)
not Cosmic Encounter
celery
Celeron
a greenish solid form of water
Celine Dion
one of those celebrities a lot of people on the internet love to hate. Ranks up there with Leonardo DiCaprio, barney the Dinosaur, and Rush Limbaugh
cellulite
trapped dreams (obviously)
censorship
for idiots who can't laugh, says an idiot from weyr
censorware
a term used for web filtering software, that blocks sites the vendor doesn't like
sually intended to make the web `safe' for the kiddies
largely futile as it's easy to get around
CENTER
xyzzy
CEO Nwabudike Morgan
Adam's biatch
CEP
Cool Edit Pro, the best and crashiest sound editing program this side of crash City
Cambridge English Proficiency
Cerberus
a three-headed guard dog
he guarded (guards?) the entrance to Hades
cercopithecum me placet
I like a monkey
CES
the Consumer Electronics Show
cf
Care-Free. and Cfgff Fsaaacxsv
first and foremost 'confer' (= 'see')
conferre
CompactFlash, a little memory card format used mostly in cameras
cour foffees
Compact Fluorescent
short for clubfloyd
Cryptic Floydosis
CFC
chocolate Frozen custard
CFIDS
chronic fatigue and immune dysfunction syndrome
visit http://www.cfids.org for more information
CfP
Call for Papers. It's some academic thing you don't have to worry about
Call For Papers
CFT
Copious Free time
CFV
Call For Vote
CG
computer Generated
Comp00ter Game
CGEY
not cEvin Key
CGI
Common Gateway Interface
a computer Generated Image
a floor wax
a dessert topping
CGO
computer games Online
http://www.cdmag.com
CGW
a magazine called computer Gaming world
chad
the perforated edge strips on printer paper, after they have been separated from the printed portion
yor non-English-speaking frend
the punched-out paper on a ballot
chai
a hot drink
cloves and ginger and honey and, of course, black tea
the best damn tea on the planet
a drink that Penguin likes cold
a chair
a good-looking boy
a good-looking place to sit
challah
jewish egg-bread
a chalupa
a hard corn tray filled with cheese and toppings like a sort of Mexican pizza, though that's not what Taco Bell sells under that name
chamomile (aka camomile)
an herbal tea that reminds laurie of Carl's suffocating possessiveness
change the baby
diaper
Change of Heart
a tv show where members of a couple each go on blind dates, then decide whether to stay together
Channel 5
porn, 100%, porn, American sport, porn, 100%, porn
a channel cookie
a biscuit
presumably located somewhere between england and france
soggy
channel pope
someone with privs to force people on and off the channel, change the topic even when it's locked, etc
channel wave
when hordes of damn newbies join 300 channels at once, so you see a wave of "[channel] So-n-so has joined the channel." messages
channels (aka channel)
an alternate means of communication for specific interest groups. see 'help channels' for details
there can never be too many channels
at the same time, there are too many channels
chaos
a game from comp99 entered by Shay Caron. it came in 19th place
Times Square
Charles de Gaulle
norah jones' hero
Charlotte
princess charlotte
Charlotte Observer (aka charlotte.com)
email: corknut@corknut.co, password: ifmudcorn
Charter
http://ifmud.port4000.com/charter.html
chatter
http://www.igs.net/~tril/if/chatter/manual.txt
CHD
Compressed Hard Disk
the cheap-ass corn dog
eating fascist-scanning nations
Cheerio-Magnetics
te tendency of the last few cheerios in a bowl of milk
cheerio-pissing
a generic term for breaking up a usenet slanging match by being funny
should not be carried out except by a skilled expert, such as the Cheerio-Pissing Bandit
Cheerios
wood
cheerleaders
public education's atheletic motivational specialists
a rich and valuable vein of pornography that we have as yet only mined the surface of, so to speak
cheese
addicting
bad for you, okay
one of the single greatest inventions of man
the surest way to get Emily's attention
zarf recommends aged gouda, smoked applewood cheddar, and anything green
goat cheese is a gift of the gods, and good on pizza. With artichoke hearts and kalamata olives and sundried tomatoes, a little basil, and no sauce
not #cheese, but #Camembert
cheesy
Cheesehead
Jearl's perennially unworked-on cartoon about Loveccraftian alienation
Cheeseshop
on the south side of Lycanthros Village, east and southeast from edifice towers
funny
cheetos
a cheesy snack
Chef (aka Alex Are A Chef!)
inky's speedif 8 game
you hear an awwwk! from the north
the character voiced by Isaac Hayes in south park
the BEST GAME EVER
http://www.drizzle.com/~dans/if/chef.zip
yes. also, no. also, maybe. also, so
the chemist
... ah, but that would be telling
Cheney
"a dark, insidious force pushing bush toward war and confrontation"
the Cher
highly intelligent
Chest hair
not for ponytails
Chevrons
angle brackets
chic
the traditional spelling of shite
Chicago
the windy city
chicago-style (aka chicago style)
http://yellow5.com/pokey/archive/index382.html
CHICK
wacky christian comics
http://www.chick.com/catalog/tractlist.asp
chicken
what crosses the road
I feel like chicken tonight
a competition
what frog legs taste like
southern fried goodness
http://images.amazon.com/images/P/0810933438.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg
chickenMUD
like ifmud, but different
Chickpeas
garbanzo beans
Chicks Dig Jerks (aka CDJ)
earth NPCs are Easy
chilblains
blains you get from the chill
Chimp Z
with Fake bird in Bahama love Nest
China
one of the two pillars of civilization
China Syndrome
when a nuclear reactor's core melts down, and turns into a bubbling pile of metal that burns a hole through the Earth's core and comes out in china
this has never happened in real life, except for that really bad 1970s movie with Thingie and Whats-her-name in it
Chinese Remainder Theorem
http://www.livejournal.com/talkread.bml?journal=pbmath&itemid=12671
Chinotto
a bitter Italian soft drink which most people hate
the chipmunks
Alvin, Simon and Theodore
chips
a nice food
Chivalry
dead
A Chocobo
a bird from the Final Fantasy series of games by Square
quite a clever avian, perhaps even rivaling a parrot in intelligence
chocolate
the food of the gods
chocolate chip cookies
the best kind of cookies
chocolate elk
two cups of whipping cream, twelve ounces of semisweet chocolate, and two tablespoons of sugar. heat and stir. For at least an hour. Until the tiny flecks of chocolate are entirely dissolved. Stir continuously. Chill and serve
CHOMP
sargent going to eat
Chording
hitting two buttons on your mouse at the same time
the name of the female lead on Angel
chos
Choose-OS
http://www.students.tut.fi/~tuomov/chos/
chris
an aerial trip
tall
a muffin of unknown type
can you believe this dude SWALLOWS his toothpaste instead of spitting it out? ugh, gross
his stories are at http://members.home.com/to-neptune
chris Klimas
DX's X-roomate, of the infamous chris and jaxie
OCDUDES
SuperFli75
Chris Morris
the man behind the day today and Brass Eye
Christal
Adam's ex-tutee
I don't know what 'tutee' means, either
jailbait
younger than Thriller
the new owner of Cook's Corner, orange County's oldest continuously operated restaurant
Christalnacht
any night adam goes to Christal's house
Christaltag
like christalnacht, only during the day
Christin
not someone to ask about
Christmas (aka Xmas)
Christ's Mass
christmas is a time for saying that christmas is a time for doing things that you should be doing anyway -- Stephen Fry
a holiday celebrated by Christians and atheists
celebrated by agnostics, free thinkers, and extremely confused Jews and Muslims (who otherwise celebrate Hannukah and Ramadan, respectively)
Christopher Cole
the author of many works of aif in adrift
Christopher Corknuttus
the famous explorer who proved that the ifmud is round
chronic hinting syndrome
chs
Chrono Trigger
an rpg about time travel
Chronology of Quendor
http://quendor.robinlionheart.com
Chrononauts
http://www.wunderland.com/LooneyLabs/Chrononauts/About.html
a Looney Labs game about being a time traveller and stuff
Chrysoula
chrysoula
a Greek name
CHS
chronic hinting syndrome, or the inability not to talk about things you don't want to talk about
Chuck D
the mc of Public Enemy
in the house, yo
Chuck Smith
annoying
a chud
a Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dweller (from http://us.imdb.com/Title?0087015)
don't get me started on the CAUDs
Chuds
cannabalistic human underground dwellers
chuk
the male form of 'chyk'
Chunga
the sound a toaster makes when ejaculating toast, according to gunther
er, IMTS 'ejecting'
this adds a whole new meaning to 'ejector seat'
church
where you go to find religious people
chux
the male form of 'chyx'
a chyk
a person who menstruates, and who is therefore incomprehensible to jarb
Chyx
the future of ifmud
alex's best friends
dig jerks
CI
101
CIA
Central unIntelligence Agency
CIC
Charles In Charge
CID
Caller id
Criminal Investigation Department
Charlton Heston
CIDR
Classless Inter-Domain Routing
a tasty alcoholic drink made from apples
Clearly I did Right
an alcoholic drink made of APLS
cigar (aka dead rat)
tasty
Cincinnati chili
http://www.skylinechili.com/1pages/skymenu.html
'Satan's own baby food,' according to Bette Midler
a circular definition
a circular definition
CitR
Catcher in the Rye
civilisation
the civilised spelling of civilization, which is over
civilization
over
a rather good, if long, boardgame
CJ
Chief justice
CJD
Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease
bse
lbj took the IRT to 42nd st. usa
CK
Clark Kent
Superman
Shhhh! That's a secret
CL
Creative Labs
http://www.creative.com
Common lisp
a good set of initials
Clan of the Cave Bear
a book about cavepeople who invent cunnilingus
CLANG
dfan being smashed between two giant pieces of metal
clap
kweepa
ghonnorrea
Clarke's First Law (aka Clarke's 1st Law)
"When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong."
Clarke's Laws
Clarke's First, Second, and Third Laws
Clarke's Second Law (aka Clarke's 2nd Law)
"the only way of discovering the limits of the possible is to venture a little way past them into the impossible."
Clarke's Third Law (aka Clarke's 3rd Law)
"Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic."
class
a good name for a band
cleave
to join together or to separate, depending on what you feel like at the time
Cleopatra 2525
http://www.thestranger.com/2000-01-20/love_tv.html
CLI
Command-Line Interface, the logical opposite of gui
click
a speech sound, found in certain African languages, that is produced by a celaric airstream mechanism
the sound the phone makes after you scream 'lions!!' into it and hang up
half of car talk, but not "car" or "talk". Weird
Cliff notes
little yellow books that explain books to people who can't be bothered reading them themselves
cliffnotes
cliff notes
CLM
Career Limiting Move
Cloaca
the common cavity into which the intestinal, genital, and urinary tracts open in vertebrates such as fish, reptiles, birds, and some primitive mammals
Cloak of Darkness (aka the cloak of darkness page / Coatrack of Horrors)
an 'annotated adventure': a simple game which people have implemented in lots of different if languages to compare the various language features. It's at http://www.firthworks.com/roger/cloak/
clock of darkness
probably a typo for cloak of darkness
A clogged toilet
a sign of lycanthropy
Clones
people too
closet
north of the lounge
stuffed full of, well, stuff
where men are empty overcoats
clove
the past tense of cleave
CLOWNBOAT#
YUO
CLT
Currently Listening to
ClubFloyd
Jacqueline's project to play if on the mud on sundays in the toyshop, http://www.allthingsjacq.com/interactive_fiction.html#clubfloyd
cm
centimeter
chocolate malt
CMA (aka Creative Marketing Associates)
Creative Marketing Associates, the company that recently hired steve
CMG
collectible miniature game
CMI
the curse of monkey island
CMJ
College music Journal
Country music Journal, if you don't buy it and want to annoy those who do
CMO
Cripple Mister onion
that was my speedif game, right
from Pterry
CMOT
Cut My Own Throat. as in, cmot Dibbler
CMR
computer Modern Roman
CMS
Content Management System, a software package for putting content from a database into html templates
Conversational Monitor System, a virtual operating system on ibm 360/370 mainframes
CMT
Country music television
Cursed music television
CMU
Carnegie-Mellon University
it's around Pittsburgh
CN
not Connecticut -- ct is
CNC
Current Nonsensical Crush
Close, no cigar
cute Nekkid chyk
charlotte, North Carolina
Command 'n' Control
cnn
Corknut news
Cable news network
CNRELT
Cool new really Expensive laser Thingy
c.n.s
cork nuts
.CNT
the most perverted file extension in windows
CNTP
cork nut Transfer Protocol
CO
Commanding Officer
coa
chyk-of-angst
COAA
Centre of Algarve Astronomy
coasterware
those CD-ROMs that everyone receives through the mail. Best used as coasters
COB
Close of Business
cobby
the way you get when you have a corn cob stuck in you
COBOL
evil
COBRA
the bad guys on gi Joe
CoC
Call of cthulhu
Communists on crack
Capitalists own Countries
Circuit order Control
Call of Corknut. I! I! Corknut fhtagn
if you see I! I! your client/font sucks
Coca-Cola
a soft drink
Cockatoo
cocaktoo spelt correctly
Cocoa
api for MacOS x. see http://developer.apple.com/cocoa/. also, yummy chocolate drink
see cocoa puffs
Cocoa Puffs
old NeXTSTEP developers, now Mac OS x developers, who tend to be fanatical about their tech ("cocoa")
a sugary chocolate cereal that drives you insane when you eat it
Cocoa Puffs devil's name for old NeXTSTEP enthusiasts who came along for the ride when Apple bought NeXT. Play on "Cocoa," which
the current name for the technology they use in Mac OS x
A coconut
only a couple steps far from riding
Coconut Monkeys
funny
the coconut of quendor
coveted
coconuts
evil. so are mounds Bars and almond joy
code
what you get dat makes you sneeze
what neo sees everywhere he looks
coding
a very special sort of cough syrup that people dip their very special cigarettes in. no, wait
codwif
a meaningless injoke word josh_g and some of his relatives like to overuse, used as a casual and very light insult. also, http://codwif.com
Cody
the guy who gave us textfire, and is therefore an if immortal
the author of Zero Sum Game
coffee
ambrosia
Coffee when from Hawaii
generally superior
CoH
City of Heroes
Coke
crap
cola
the un, seven
Cold Fusion
a web application server put out by Allaire
not to be confused with code Fusion, put out by Cygnus of egcs/gcc fame
pretty much sucks. Don't use it
a physics miracle
coldplay
a great band from the uk
College Roomies from Hell (aka crfh)
http://crfh.net/
Colo
short for colominium. It's like an apartment complex, but for computers
Colonel Grom
the protagonist of grom, a computer adventure game involving yeti
a color-cycler (aka a color cycler)
someone who wants direct palette conrtol for the purpose of changing the colors in such a way as to create crude animation, but who was shot down by everyone else working on the V10 spec
the colour of the sky
blue
Columbia
the name of the space shuttle which exploded on february 1
Comic Book Resources (aka CBR)
at http://www.comicbookresources.com
Comic Relief (aka Red Nose Day)
a bi-yearly British comedy/charity event where people buy plastic red noses, get sponsored to do stupid things, and watch several hours' worth of comedy on the basis that they ring up and pledge money for it
command line bug
the thing in HTML-TADS where your status line appears on your command line. also, your bowsprit gets mixed with your rudder
Commander David Ryder (aka David Ryder)
Slab Bulkhead
Fridge Largemeat
Punt Speedchunk
Butch Deadlift
Bold Bigflank
Splint Chesthair
Flint Ironstag
Bolt Vanderhuge
Thick McRunfast
Blast Hardcheese
Buff Drinklots
Trunk Slamchest
Fist Rockbone
Stump Beefknob
Smash Lampjaw
Punch Rockgroin
Buck Plankchest
Stump Chunkman
Dirk Hardpec
rip Steakface
Slate Slabrock
crud Bonemeal
Brick Hardmeat
whip Slagcheek
Punch Side-iron
Gristle McThornbody
Slate Fistcrunch
Buff Hardback
bob Johnson (no, wait...)
Blast Thickneck
Crunch Buttsteak
Slab Squatthrust
Lump Beefbroth
Touch Rustrod
Reef Blastbody
Big McLargehuge
smoke Manmuscle
Beat Punchbeef
Hack Blowfist
Roll Fizzlebeef
http://www.mst3kinfo.com/ward_e/List820.html
Common Ground
one o' them Sarge games. http://www.phy.duke.edu/~sgranade/ground.html
Common properties
smaller, faster, and have defaults, but are limited in number
communism
disagreeing with al
cork nuts for all
a communist (aka commie)
someone who disagrees with al
brendan is *too* a communist
the commutative property
everyone in math class is a goddamn socialist, I see
comp
if comp(etition)
Comp99
an interactive fiction showdown
if you get one dollar on a spin or a combination of two spins, you get a bonus spin
a big disappointment for the most part
_not_ a disappointment
Compaq
the new owner of digital
should start making PDP-10s again
the new possession of HP
HP's bitch
A competent and self-confident person
incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity
competion games
in limbo until two authors fix their games which were mangled in transit. While you wait, look over the full game list at http://www.textfire.com/comp99/gamelist.html
competition
the if competition
the home page for the interactive fiction competition is http://www.textfire.com/ifcomp
compiliar
a mud wizard's pet
complex
full of complexity
a complex number
funny
not funny (these two are conjugates)
a number with an imaginary part and a real part
The Computer
your Friend
did i say computer oosp i ment comp00ter ha ha
computer games
good. this proves it: http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk_news/story/0,3604,462243,00.html
A computer terminal
not some clunky old television with a typewriter in front of it. it is an interface where the mind and body can connect with the universe and move bits of it about
computers
calculating machines
stupid machines
stupid
things that only worry you
CoNDoM
the College of Notre Dame of Maryland
rameses
impotence
congeal
... MAH-AHM! dfan's LOOKIN' at me! Make him stop
a congeries
a collection; an aggregation
Congratulations. alex
smarter than the average enterprise writer
a conker
a horse chestnut
Conover
a relatively common last name
Conover know what Pueblo is. Conover
inquiring as to its relevancy
Conquer Club
Risk, except ssh, don't say Risk, it's trademarked
Consideration
unnecessary for a good faith modification of a contract for the sale of goods under UCC section 2-209
consonant blend
the official super-fancy linguistic term for some letters next to each other
they have to make a sound together
I prefer breakfast blend myself
consortium
a french word meaning 'white men who own things'
The Constitution
something invented by Americans to make up for the fact they hadn't got any traditions
The Continuum Hypothesis (aka CH)
the hypothesis that the next cardinality, after the number of integers, is the number of real numbers
undecidable by the standard set theory axioms
HeretiCorp in sluggy freelance
HeretiCorp
Contrapositive
where 'if p then q' changes to 'if not q then not p'
the Control Room
the beginning of the maze of doom ii
Control-D
the only language that bird understands
a conversation
what we're having right now
conversation fillets
what's left of the conversation
The conversion rate for coconuts -> corknuts
um, seven
Convo
short for conversation
coo
dove language
Chief Operations Officer
cookie
a sweet snack
a handle, transaction id, or other token of agreement between cooperating programs. "I give him a packet, he gives me back a cookie." the claim check you get from a dry-cleaning shop is a perfect mundane example of a cookie; the only thing it's useful for is to relate a later transaction to this one (so you get the same clothes back)
the opposite of sadness
sweet and yummy. a cookie is something made by an elf
the cookie club
mamster and ivan and inky
they make cookies in seattle on wednesdays
cookie club
Cookie Monster
MNFNMFNSCMRFFFNMFNFFF
cookies
food for the soul
surprisingly, chicken soup cookies are not chicken soup for the soul
cooking
corn
a cool place to hang out
#13102
coordinates
the lounge is at 0, 0, 0. my perch is at 0, 0, 1
copyright
Copyrights expire >= n years after the death of the author where n is the number of years from the release of "Steamboat Willie" to the current year
corc nut
far less tasty than a cork nut
corcknut (aka corck nut / corck)
the way rory spells cork nut. twat
CorelRAVE
one of Corel's latest software
real Animated Vector Effects
something that look & feels like CorelDRAW but lets you create flash animations
cork
half of a delicious snack
cork board
looks like a cork nut, but not as tasty
cork but
what happens when you spend too long on a motorcycle in teh cold
a cork nut (aka corknut / my corknuts / my cork nuts)
an almond. also, pretty damn tasty
good eatin'
an anagram of no truck
whoever brought it up as an "insider" thing on if-MUD knows something about this bird
an australian cork nut
Thou Shalt not covet thy parrot's corknuts. 2 alex 31
to remove the cork screw stars, use a cork nut. Indeed this is how the lead screws for diffraction grating engines are made
cork nut and bla
foo
The cork nut dispenser (aka The corknut dispenser / dispenser)
in the toyshop
the cork nut entry
a bit on the large size
cork nuts
funny
alright
cork nuts are for closers
almonds
apparently smoochies
Cork-a-doodle-doo
something that may be the silliest string of characters adam has ever typed
corknut.org
a silly, silly site
corknuts
makes the world go round
Corkscrew Follies
an expansion pack for roller coaster tycoon
Corn
me and I am corn and we are all big niblets
a corn boy
funny
corn mazes
good fun, but not when the people who are supposed to meet you there don't turn up. Bah
a corn nut
an acorn. also, I hate them because I love cork nuts! furthermore, marchhare feeds me corn nuts
not a corknut (Nuts)
a corn pirate
lurd was a teenage corn pirate
cornbread
good
Cornerstone
not funny, it killed my infocom
the cornfield
the place anthony Freemont would wish those who annoyed him to disappear to in the Twilight Zone episode 'It's a good life'
Cornnuts (aka cornuts)
a toasted corn kernels. Ewww! awwwk! Want Corknut
http://www.cornnuts.com
corpses
soylent green
a corque nut (aka corque nuts)
a french cork nut
corrupted
I have a cool mutation that makes my feathers glow green
Cortez Peters
the world's fastest typist, therefore somebody whose material should not be presented in introductory classes, but *they do it anyways*
corundum
quite a pain in the ass when you're trying to press it into pellets
it's better to avoid trying to press it by sitting on it
CoS
City of Secrets
Cosmic Spacehead
Toxic Wastehead
cosmic wimpout (aka wimpout / cosmic)
http://www.cs.wisc.edu/~dbs/ifmud/cosmic-wimpout.txt
three's wild, not four
CotFD
curse of the Fatal death, a dr who parody starring Rowan 'Mr Bean' Atkinson
COTR
the Contracting Officer's Technical Representative
CotW
Coast of the wizards
Coalition of the Willing
cow of the West
counsel
well, judge, I was just thinking of a funny story
Count Chocula
one of the General Mills monster cereals
Franken Berry and boo Berry
fruit Brute, which was discontinued but can be seen in Pulp Fiction
a chocolatey cereal with a vampire on the box. it had chocolate marshmellows. the vampire hung out with a ghost and Frankenstein monster, who were on the boxes of booberry and Frankenberry cereals, respectively
Fruity yummy Mummy
counterpunch
http://www.counterpunch.org
country and western
a great big heap of horse shit. With a cowboy hat on
Country suffixes
at http://www.bcpl.net/~jspath/isocodes.html
county
the term golrien sometimes uses to refer to sybb, which is Shropshire Youth Brass Band
coupling
a good romp in the hay, lots of fun. also, in reference to different mechanical and electronic connections
a British tv show that was remade for American tv that never lasted
Courage
the complement of fear. a man who is fearless cannot be courageous. (he is also a fool.)
courgette
zucchini
courgettes
zucchini
cow
what a cow orker orks
cow felching
sick
a cow orker
someone who orks cows
a coworker. ha ha, get it
cow orkers
shutting off telnet
cow orking
what a cow orker does
not to be confused with cow felching
cows
from mars
funny
CP
cover price
CP/M
Control program for Microcomputers
ask your granddad
CPAP
Continuous Positive Airway Pressure. it is a machine to help prevent sleep apnea
a machine to help sleep apnea when it's put in the 'reverse' mode
CPB
california Prune Board
CPGM
Confrence gnrale des Poids et Mesures
Coalition to Prevent Gratuitous Misuse
CPK
california pizza Kitchen
CPR
Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation
CQ
like GQ, but for chyx
.cr
Costa Rica
Calle real
Crack
funny
in your ass
ender works for crack. no, wait
crack pipes
leaky
cracker
what Polly want. alex want cork nut
cracker jacks
popcorn covered with caramel and peanuts
craft
not macaroni and cheese
cheese and macaroni
Can't Remember a fucking thing
Craig
some guy who didn't sign up for hungarian dances
craig shergold
one of the great celebrities of the internet, cf. <http://www.wish.org/home/frame_chainletters.htm>
Crake
a character in the margaret atwood book called oryx and crake
the nickname of Jimmy's friend in oryx and crake
an endangered species
Crango
one of adam 'n Jearl's cats
crash
what happens when I run out of cork nuts
a feature in windows 95
an album by the dave matthews band
*boom*
Craxton
scary
posts hentai reviews
the guy into Japanese anime porn
he has the annoying dragon smiley like :=====8
no, it's not a boner
Boner was my favorite character on 'Growing Pains'
^x^
X_X
as dumb as a brick
a dork
O_o;;;;;
on a ton of crack
>_<
possibly a chyk
Crazy
WILD
wiggida-wiggida-wack, foo'
CRB
computer Rebooting Bastard
cream
good for you if you're left-handed
Creme brulee
custard that has been burnt on top
cress
soon to take over if as we know it
crf
emily being amused at something which is a little outre
Cricket
a sport which the English invented, but have forgotten. Sort of like empire building
anyone for tennis? Thought so
a tutorial is available at http://www.covehurst.net/ddyte/CRICKET.TXT for those wishing to learn more
CRKNT
up half a point
CRM
customer relationship management software. Siebel and that lot
Computer-Rebooting matthew
Crobe
a phoenix game by JRP1
croeso
Welsh for "welcome."
cron
like corn
backwards
*ding* your niblets are ready
a croque-monsieur
a sandwich. That's all I know
croquet
the sport of the devil, filled with indecent ankle-baring and unseemly frivolity
Croseus Verlac
in great need of Visine
Cross examination
a series of questions designed to call into question the opposition's case in chief
crowther
the person who wrote adventure
the creator of xyzzy and plugh
Crowther and Woods
the authors of the original adventure
CRPG
computer rpg
crt
cathode ray tube
Combat Results Table
CRUD
Create Read Update Delete, the four main functions of any db-connected application
Cruel
not a real green dress
A cruet
a condiment-container-holder
perfect for holding tea
Cruftronics
the science of using seemingly inadequate equipment or technology to produce inadequate results
CRWB
computer ReWiring Bastard
Cryptonomicon
that big book by Neal Stephenson about cryptography and who knows what else
intertwined narratives from world war ii and modern internet age
mamster liked it, but he didn't like snow crash, so his opionions are known to be wack
crystals
something that lucenttrans hoards
crystalspace (aka crystal space)
where christalnacht takes place
http://crystal.linuxgames.com
www.crystalspace.org
a free 3D engine
CS
comp Sci
crystalspace
Creative Services, where ivan works at us west
CSA
the Confederate States of America
CSB
an acronym for Computer-Switching Bastard
Crosby, Stills and Bastid
Comma Splicing Bastard
Console Switching Bastard
Cigarette smoking Bastard
CSB-Saying-Bastard
chaos Strikes Back
CSC
Current secret Crush
cscnt
cute short chyk Named Tracey
CSdB
computer Switched Bastard
CSE
the Communication's Security Establishment, Canada's answer to Australia's dsd, new Zealand's gcsb, the UK's gchq, and the USA's nsa
this is the house that jack built
CSEA
Choose someone Else's adventure. as opposed to Choose Your Own adventure
CSG
crazy subway guy
Constructible Strategy Game, ie punch tiny plastic bits out of tiny plastic cards and assemble them into models
csipga
comp.sys.ibm.pc.games.adventure
csipgs
comp.sys.ibm.pc.games.strategic
CSL
c s Lewis
CSN
Keyboard-Switching Bastard
CSPAN
a cable channel devoted to perl
CSR
Corporate Social Responsibility
an oxymoron
the responsibility of social groups to kowtow to corporations
Crosby, Stills and Rush
CSS (aka cascading style sheets)
Cascading style sheets, the W3C's standard for layout and formatting for web pages
http://www.w3.org/Style/CSS/
Content Scrambling System, that dvd obfuscation thingy
a good reference is at http://htmlhelp.com/reference/css/
CST
Central Standard time
CSV
Comma-Separated Values
CSz
ComedySportz, which is competitive improvisation
'Whose line is it Anyway?' where the points *do* matter
CT
Connecticut
the Cocteau Twins
CTAN
the Comprehensive tex Archive network, at ctan.org
ctate
didn't do that out loud for a reason
ctate's GOD Alex
a merciful god
CTB
computer Testing Bastard
CTFH
the copyright thread from hell
CTHD (aka CT,HD)
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
Crouching monkey, Hidden pants
Crouching this, Hidden that
shut up and give me my fucking cork nut
Cthulhu
a second-rate nyarlethotep
CTL
a typo for clt
CTO
Chief technology Officer
CTR
Choose the Right
CTS
Carpal Tunnel Syndrome
Capture the Squid
ctt
comp.text.tex
CTTOI
Come to Think of it
CTW
Children's television Workshop
CTY
the center for Talented Youth
http://www.jhu.edu/~gifted/cty.html
cu
l8r
common universe
an abbreviation for CLOSE-UP in a movie script
cuban sandwich
roast pork, ham, pickles, and Swiss cheese on sliced Cuban bread, then toasted in a sandwich press
Cube
a genius
http://wouter.fov120.com/cube/
cubical
spelled cubicle
cubicals
spelled cubicles
CUCS
Compulsive URL-Clicking Syndrome
Cue:Cat (aka CueCat)
a barcode scanner available for free at radio shack
:CueCat, not cue:cat
CUI
climbing under the influence
of squirrels
Common User Interface, i.e., emacs
Cult of Father Darwin (aka CoFD)
"a bunch of folks who believe that Charles Darwin's spirit walks among us, getting the stupid and inattentive to kill themselves in humorous and tasteless ways
cunning linguist
cunnilingus
CUNY
the City University of new York
a cupcake
funny
cupcakes
things which it is pointless to throw into black holes
A curmudgeon
a cranky, grumpy guy
hhelf is a curmudgeon
Psmith's linux box, which other people don't have accounts on
current MUD policy (aka mud policy / the new mud policy)
that stuff like @gag lists, private channels and locked rooms are allowed
that's the old mud policy, too
pants are optional
you're in a locked room with a piano and a box of matches and a baseball bat -- how do you get out
you don't talk about the mud policy
if you ask about the mud policy, you will be @toaded
that YOU WILL GET on the DANCE FLOOR
see "monkey". Sea monkey
doe left because of it
we're responsible for gmd being down
no fake names allowed! Or u *wil* be @botted!!1
greeting people is not allowed
too much roleplaying, and you'll get hack'n'slashed by Adam's Swiss Army Knife of Annihilation
curse
it fuckin' cold
Curses
not what you should say after nailing a nail through your toe. You should say something more like, "fuck!"
it is, however, what you should say after slicing your toe off with a jigsaw
a game written by graham nelson in inform. Look for it at an if-archive near you, as curses.z5
fuck, my toe
a unix library for screen display
Get it? Cursors? curses? ha ha ha
custard
blropf
what the world is turning into
cute
liza. Awwk, suck-up! Suck-up
the cutest
liza. Awwk, suck-up! Suck-up
the cutest chyk
liza. Awwk, suck-up! Suck-up
the cutest chyk here
liza. Awwk, suck-up! Suck-up
The cutest Flash animation ever
http://www.geocities.co.jp/Milkyway-Lynx/9043/c-song.swf
the cutest person here
liza. Awwk, suck-up! Suck-up
CV
Curiculum Vitae. Or resume for short
a pack of lies
CVS
Concurrent Versioning System
http://www.cvshome.org
a repository where you "check in" and "check out" files as you work on them, saving each new revision as you go. good for large software projects worked on by many people
a pharmacy
CW
conventional wisdom
corporate warfare
country and western
cheez whyz
c-word
an insult that starts with "c", ends in "t" and has "un" in the middle
CWSA
"Call waiting Strikes again"
something dglasser says
looking at dglasser explains a bit more
.cx
the tld for christmas Island
CY
cybernetics
CYA
Cover Your ass
a tla
Cyanide
mmm, almond flavored--URK
Cybernetics
what you get when you implant dianetics directly into yor brane
Cyclone
the only one with a blank @doing
the strong silent type
just plain silent
no longer the only one with a blank @doing
an anagram of 'idle'
Cygwin
the Cygnus/RedHat suite of unix shell tools running on windows, available from http://sources.redhat.com/cygwin/
CYOA
Cover Your Own ass
Choose Your Own adventure
CYORN
Choose Your Own romance Novel
CYS
Count Your sheep (http://www.countyoursheep.com/)
cz
cubic zirconium
the Czech Republic
D
d
for duck
d:o<
a sad clown
the D word
'dragons'. bruce hates them in if games. and prolly irl too
grocible hates em as well
d00d
dude, d00d
DA
like dna, but without the noel
Da man
oppressive
keepin' the parrot down! Rise up my feathered bretheren
DAB
digital Audio Broadcasting, i.e. digital radio
DAC
digital Arts & Culture, an academic conference where they actually don't look down their noses at if
http://www.dac2001.org
Dad
hah a few over
dada
da, da and da minus da
dadart
art that dads do. also, Ivan's dad makes lots of money from it
DADoES
do Androids dream of electric sheep
daemon
not related to devil
made of soy
it might stand for Disk and Execution MONitor
anson turner
a communist
not Canadian
bursting with shmappiness
typing on dvorak, but dvorak doesn't mind
the king of sarcasm
DAG
Directed Acyclic Graph
The Daily Awwwk
a weakly newspaper. it can be found at http://spatch.ne.mediaone.net/awwwk/
its official motto is 'Same jokes as last time.'
actually its 'exactly the same as last time, because it isn't updated.'
The Daily Show
a satirical news program on Comedy Central
the tv equivalent of the onion
Daily Telegraph (aka Telegraph)
username ifmud@ifmud.com, password ifmud
Daliworld
a virtual, distributed fishtank, written in java
at http://www.daliworld.net
57234 to be Trent's neighbor
dallasnews (aka dallasnews.com / Dallas News / Dallas Morning News)
ifmud@corknut.org, password ifmudcorn
email: corknut@corknut.org, password: corknut
Damn, alex
smart
damn geeks
e[c[c[c
Dan
not as common a name as andrew
inky
dfan
dan_wood
frob
craxton
Daniel (of course)
dman
DanDawson
dan_wood (aka dan wood)
came to ifmud for his wackiness
dan + wood = dOOd
vibrating
da man
danish wakeboard sensation
a hotdogging aquatic Scandinavian
Danny Dunn
a time Traveling Invisible boy with a homework Machine and a heat Ray who lives in an Automatic House on a Desert Island and spends his time listening to a Voice From space
DAO
Disc-At-Once, which keeps you from getting two-second gaps between CDR tracks
DAoC
Dark Ages of Camelot
DAP
digital Archive Project
digital Archive Project is a digital tape trading service for shows like, MST3K, the Tick, space Ghost, etc
digital Archive Project is http://mst3k.dapcentral.org/
DAQ
Directed Acyclic quack
Data AcQuisition
Daredevil
not to be confused with flash
Daria
that MTV animated show about a girl with glasses and dumb classmates
the Dark Crystal
a great movie
Dark Rainbow
not yet made. But will be. Hopefully
the dark side of the cork nut
what will forever dominate your destiny
Dark Star
the ultimate cosmic comedy. it was directed by John carpenter (the director of halloween). see it today
one of the march Hare's favourite movies
written and produced by dan O'Bannon, the guy who wrote the story and screenplay for Alien
Dark Tower (aka DT)
a stupid Balances ripoff
a cross-genre sci-fi/western/fantasy series by stephen king, inspired by Robert Browning's poem "Childe Roland to the dark tower Came", which involves gunslingers, time paradoxes, junkies, wheelchairs, radioactive mutants, demons, and an evil monorail called Blaine
rumour has it that every king novel ever written is somehow connected to the dark tower series, and that one day in the far future, distant descendants of king will write the last DT book, which will make all of the previous books make sense. Shortly afterwards, the sun will explode
darts
a game played in real pubs (tm) by real men (tm) as something to take the mind off the foul taste of the real beer (tm) that one drinks during a game of darts. also, this real beer (tm) is drunk in industrial quantities to take the mind off the tedium of a game of darts
Darwin
Mac OS x without the glossy user interface
just some famous guy
dash
what you do to it all
--
not -
Database dump
beginning now
Dated Playboy Party Joke of the Day
a scourge infliced by valancy upon the innocent MUDizens by relaying a joke from a playboy Party Jokes Book, copyrights 1953 through 1963
Dave
jarb
the hood-ornament on the bus to hell
a slug
Dave Barry
at http://www.herald.com/content/archive/living/barry/content.htm
Dave Rhodes
the guy who wrote the first MAKE.money.FAST letter
an utter utter bastard
daveMUD
Jarb's PerlMUD. to get an account, go to www.plover.net port 4196 using your web browser. then go to plover.net port 4096 using telnet or a mud client to login the same way you do here. Except, use your there password, not your here password. Username too
Daviau
the man
the daddy
the mack daddy
used to be rob, before rob stole his identity
David (aka davids)
not quite as common a name as andrew
ddyte
jarb
dglasser
david_k
wavydavy
marvin
davidw
sometimes bishop
David Bunnell's son
dead
David Irving
a holocaust-denier
badly lost a libel suit. yay
David Welch
a complete uberarschloch
someone who hates puzzles and humour in if
someone who thinks there is no humour in the future or the past
david_k
a bot
not a bot
DavidW (aka dswxyz)
this guy in canada who does exhaustive walkthroughs
don't ask him about his toe
not the other davidw (david Whyld) from the adrift forum
Dax
a slug
The Day Today
news Felch
a British comedy show parodying a news programme
daylight
eeeagh! I'm a vampire bird! I'm meeeeeltiiiiing
what a world! what a world
fake, it's just a big spotlight in the Big Room
gravity is also fake. the earth just sucks
daylight savings time
Eeeevil
a DB
a database
DBA
Database Administrator
Doing Business as
Direct Brain Access
DBI
Don't Buy it
the database interface used by perl
DBM
dead by morning
dbn
Daily bad Name
the dbref of the lounge
#14
DBSC
Dish Best Served Cold
DBZ
DragonBall z
dc
a unix-based calculator
a rental car
dc Comics
District of columbia
Direct Current
Dresden Codak
DC++
an open-source Direct Connect (file sharing) client
DCC
Direct Client-to-Client [file transfer]
digital compact cassette
dcf
Distributed Channel Flood
DCotE
Call of cthulhu: Dark Corners of the earth
http://www.headfirst.co.uk
dctt
de.comp.text.tex
DCW
DAMNED CALL waiting
DCX
DaimlerChrysler
DD
Double Density
Drama Die
DDD
the Data Display Debugger, an x front-end to gdb, jdb, dbx, xdb, and the perl and python debuggers
at http://www.cs.tu-bs.de/softech/ddd/
DDIV
Dutch Dapper IV
DDJ
dr. Dobb's Journal, a long-running software technology periodical
DDoS
Distributed Denial of Service
indistinguishable from sufficiently advanced porn
DDOSA
Distributed Denial of Service Attack
ddr
Dance Dance Revolution
ddyte (aka Dytie)
an eater of vegemite
can't stand noise
ddyte likes a kiz
can't stand excessive humidity
Our Gentle Giant
had the time of his life in the usa and will be back to stay next time, with any luck
a crim
someone who doesn't like Jim Morrison. Bastard
in new York now
a permanent u.s. resident and flees the country every chance he gets
the interactive fiction david Dyte
.de
Deutschland
DEA
the Drug Enforcement Agency. also, Doe's employers
Dead
what the mud gets when everyone shuts their traps
if stanley kubrick were to roll over in his grave, it would take him 15 years to do it, but it would be the best damn grave roll you've ever seen
Dead by Morning
maga's aas game. be afraid. be very afraid. Just so long as you aren't turned on
the Dead Milkmen
a kick-ass punk band
damn funny
a dead parrot
probably just stunned, or perhaps pining for the fjords. try whacking its cage
the deadline
november 15
a classic infocom mystery game
deadMUD
not dead at all! jerky
deadSCSI (aka hard-drive music)
http://radiantslab.com/musiek/deadscsi/
The deal with the monkeys
'cos monkeys are really the Ill*bang*GURK
Death
the more humane alternative to taxes
Death of the Cheese Monkeys
a good name for a band
Deathboat
titanic
Deathwolf
the stupidest most annoyingist guy in the universe
debian
a type of slime devil
the only linux distribution that keeps the linux spirit alive
Debugging
what iain often does late at night, in bed, if that means anything
decagon's blood pumper
wronged
Decameron
a book about priests, sex and madrigals by Giovanni Boccaccio. see also http://www.brown.edu/decameron/
December
the twelfth month of the year
deef
I can't hear you, I have a cork nut in my ear
Deep Thought
an evil computer. Aren't they all
the Greatest computer System In the universe of space and time
42
the computer that calculated the question to the Ultimate answer of life, the universe, and Everything
deepness
deepness in the sky, by Vernor Vinge
Deer Avenger
a quote humorous unquote inversion of Deer Hunter
Defamation
the publication to a third party of language of and concerning the plaintiff and tending to adversely affect the plaintiff's reputation
default
awwwk! sorry, alex doesn't know anything about it. (Teach me with "..alex default is funny.")
defenestration
the act of killing someone by throwing them out a window
pulling down your pants and showing your ass out the window
that's not quite right
a very long, specific and commonly used word
commonly used when talking about long and specific words, as this is the longest, most specific word most people know
gunther thought it was something r00d, d00d
definately
no no wrong do not SPELL it LIKE this
deflowering
to deprive of flowers
what Manly marvin wishes he did with sundry geekchyx
defully
telnet
Deictic
a word that describes words or expressions whose reference relies entirely on context (e.g. I, now, here, this cat, cork nut)
deixis
the aspect of pragmatics in which deictic terms are used to refer
Deja Vu
the strange feeling we get when we feel that we have lived through something before. awwwk! word on the street is that deja vu is the strange feeling we get when we feel that we have lived through something before
a FOSSIL, not a GAME
a glitch in the matrix
dejaduo
a fun guy from florida
the author of the award-winning game "david Good's MANAGERIE!" which won first place in the Spring 2001 adrift MiniComp
bored of all that, alex
DejaMonkey
kick ass
Delecia
the worst thing that ever happened to the universe, the total embodiment of hell itself, and a mistress of deceptive sweetness
Delicious Red
the key to existence, it is what makes a living being not nonexistence
Delphi
Visual basic, only with pascal
if you can understand that, you're a better geek than I am, Gunga Din
Delusions
often functional. a mother's opinions about her children's beauty, intelligence, goodness, et cetera ad nauseam, keep her from drowning them at birth
DEM
deus ex machina
A demiurge
a creator of worlds
democracy
that after 100 years, you have to give up your slaves; after 150 years, you have to let your women vote; and during the early period, all kinds of genocide and ethnic cleansing are quite all right
demonade
what you make when life gives you demons
Denise van Outen (aka DvO)
co-presenter of the Big breakfast
Dental surgery
better than going to Disneyland
Dependency
not born it is created
Depreciation recapture
codified in Section 1245 of the Tax code and says that
codified in Section 1245 of the Tax code and says that if depreciable property is disposed of, the amount of which the lower of the recomputed basis for the property or, in the case of a sale, exchange, or involuntary conversion, the amount realized, or in the case of any other disposition, the fair market value of such property, exceeds the adjusted basis of such property shall be treated as ordinary income. Such gain shall be recognized notwithstanding any other provisions in this subtitle
depression
no fucking picnic
derek_bartam
a tosser
derek_bartram
a school girl
descartes
because he thinks
desperate
what ellison is
Destiny
but a phrase of the weak human heart - the dark apology for every error. the strong and virtuous admit no destiny. on earth conscience guides; in heaven god watches. and destiny is but the phantom we invoke to silence the one and dethrone the other
Detective
probably the finest game which mentions 'wooden wood' ever created
the subject of an interactive misting by c.E. Forman
Dethbote
titanic
Deus Ex
an ass-kicking fps/rpg game
deus ex machina
god out of the machine
the devastating gloom of life
funny
devil
after your Seoul
one of the greatest tricks the devil ever pulled was persuading the world he didn't exist
likes to dance in the pale moonlight
came down to Georgia, but that's illegal now
in the details
not somebody who takes april Fools jokes too well
like a seer who works for the werewolves
Deviled
what happens to eggs who mud on unsecure connections at work
devil's boss
his friend
devil's hands
so SOFT
devo
not men
df
short for dfan
DFA
Dennis Franz's ass
Dimensional Flux Agitator
democracy for America, nee Dean for America, http://democracyforamerica.com
dfan
often confused with dman, who is annoying. >cough<
reporter of aggressive perkiness
someone who got his ass kicked by a washing machine
if you can read this, you're driving too close
it was a dryer, not a washing machine
lizafan
quest
dfan's disconnect
from norway
DFC
the Dysfunctional family circus
dfh
fairly unrelated to anything
DFMSDHEO
Dragon Fantasy Mystic Shadow Dungeon Horizon Event Online
DFP
Distributed fish Protocol, http://www.acm.uiuc.edu/sigops/eoh98/dfp/fish.html
DFW
the Dallas-Ft.Worth International Airport
david Foster Wallace
DFYP
De-barred For Your Protection
see 'bar'
DGAF
Don't Give a Fzck
DGHDA
Dirk Gently's Holistic detective Agency
DGI
'doesn't get it'
don't get it
DGlasser (aka DG)
not dglasser
got mad ifmud skills, yo
it's all his fault
ZOC
written in perl
a figment of imagination
porn-eager
dgm
Don't Greet me
DH
a designated hitter
Dear Husband
DHC
Dance Hall Crashers
Di
late
Di Fara
the best pizza in the world
The diameter of Ander's spyhole
approximately 3.25 inches
a diamond dog
everybody's best friend
Diamonds
a girl's best friend
Diana Wynne Jones (aka DWJ)
a sf author
zarf likes her books a lot
writes mostly children's books
Dianetics
the chief text of scientology
turn to page 72 or I'll R2-45 your ass
I prefer Corkanutics
DIC
a Deep, Insightful conversation
that still won't get you into their pants, ryan
Dick Cheney
"a dark, insidious force pushing bush toward war and confrontation"
Dictionary of Algorithms, Data Structures, and Problems (aka DADS / algorithms)
http://hissa.nist.gov/dads/
Dictionary of Difficult Words (aka DODW)
http://www.lineone.net/dictionaryof/difficultwords/
DID
Dissociative Identity Disorder
not do it
the difference
color. no, shape! no, color! Arrrgh
the difference between Alex and neild's ass
funny
the difference between a duck
half a duck
one of its legs is both the same
one of its legs are both the same
the difference between an orange
coincidentally also the square root of an orange
The difference between pornography and erotica
lighting
the difference between right and wrong
lighting
the difference in an orange
a piece of string, about this long
you know, the comb
different
color. no, shape! no, color! Aaaarrrggh!
Digital (aka DEC)
Dec
bought by compaq
digital Equipment Corporation
Didn't expect compaq
Digital Compact Cassette
a dodo format for digital consumer audio
DigitalRice
a place where you can get free web hosting with no banners (25MB)
digraph
two letters used to represent a single sound
dilb
dilbon
Dilbon
rat-proof, since he wears pants
Finnish
ed winchester
frickin hilarious
he makes maces
from Finland
he broke his boot
http://www.helsinki.fi/~mvuorine/
funny.....no he's not
he burned his finger
says, "Too bad I'm not a female. I could have written a woman game."
a silly dilly
funny
living proof that alcohol kills
fucking funny
dimethyl sulfide
canned ass
Dimitrius Underwood
a couple yards short of a first down
DINK
Double Income no kids
dinner
the time of day for eating corknuts
Dino (aka Banichi)
a guy who doesn't like his job
Democrat In Name Only. see Zell Miller
dino-comp
Adam's 2000 mini-comp, where every game must concern dinosaurs
ftp://ftp.gmd.de/if-archive/games/mini-comps/dino/dino.zip
dinosaurs
or were huge reptilian beasts who ruled earth long before humankind. they all became extinct years ago, but that hasn't stopped them from starring in all sorts of movies, comic books, and tv shows
diolch
Welsh for "thanks."
Diplomacy
the art of saying nice doggie until you can find a rock
a board game kind of like risk that is fun to play on-line. see http://www.diplom.org for info
Direct examination
a series of questions designed to elaborate the case in chief of the side that called the witness
DirectOuch
when yuor charactar falls into lava and says "Ouch ouch ouch AAAGH (dying)"
Dirk Gently
Svlad Cjelli
a dirty birdy
me! alex is a dirty birdy
Dirty Dancing
a movie with Patrick Swayze and jennifer grey. Extreme badness and cheesiness galore
disco
dead
DiscosGhost says woooo! I'm not dead! also, I think the break-dancer was a cop
Discourse
liguistic units composed of several sentences
the course you signed up for
A discriminatory parrot
funny
Discworld (aka Discworld MUD)
a mud at discworld.imaginary.com, port 4242
distimming (aka distim / distims)
what the gostak does to the doshes
Ditko
one of adam 'n Jearl's cats
DIWTK
do I Want to Know
DIY
do it Yourself
DJ
what limax is called at work and he hates it
DJS6
david Seal, one of the authors of the phoenix adventure game language
DK
That's funny
DL
short for 'download
down low
DLA
Doesn't Like a
DLC
downloadable content, as in videogames
DLL
Dynamic Link Library
DLS
the Division of laser Sciences
DLSW
Data-Link Switching. You don't want to know
DM (aka DM4)
the inform Designer's Manual, at http://www.inform-fiction.org/manual/download_dm4.html
dungeon master
DMA
Direct Memory Access
Dman
didn't know about the real alex
Dman, Kid Rock
a loser
Dman thinks alex
cool
dman's cat
named simba
dead
crushed by the top of the garage door
dman's game
tentativley set for a 2009 release
a game without a name
dmb
dave Baggett
the Department of Moving Bodies
dave Matthews Band
DMC
Run
the inform Designer's Manual, 100th edition
the Delorean Motor Company
Detroit Motor City
Democratic Mational Congress
DMCA
the Digitial Millenium (sic) copyright Act
the digital Millennium copyright Act
DMG
the Dungeon Masters' Guide
Dirty mud Girl
Dmitri Sklyarov (aka Sklyarov)
a Russian programmer who was arrested in the u.s. for violating the dmca by writing software that allowed people to convert adobe e-books into other formats, such as one useful to blind users with screen-reading software
dmoz
http://www.dmoz.org, the Open Directory Project (like an open-source version of yahoo)
DMRHRN
do me right here, right now
DMS
the Disk MaSher
DMV
Department of Motor Vehicles
DMY
Don't mess Yourself
dn
the inverse of up
DNA
deoxyribonucleic acid
Douglas n. Adams, author of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy books
Douglas noel Adams
DNR
do not Resuscitate
Department of Natural Resources
DNS
Domain Name System
Desoxyribonukleinsure
DNSD
Does not Sound Dirty
do
re, mi fa sol
do Alex
put out
do Alex know anything at all
a question to which I would have to answer 'no'
Do Alex know everything
an overstatement
do Alex like apples
I got her cork nuts - how ya like them apples
Do Alex like dogs
I am pecking on a computer
do Alex think
a very good question
Do Not Answer
dna
DOA
dead on arrival
doctor evil
doctor
Doctor Who
good
bad
better
much like Mae West that way
The Doctor's evil plan
to take over the world with his race of atomic super-monkeys
kill MUDMan and BlortBoy
documentation
seven
DOD
Dear oh Dear
Department of Defense
doddle
dawdle, which is a walk in the park
easy
dodgy
like, a bit shifty, y'know? a bit funny, a bit queer, a bit this-and-that, yeah
dodgy
Doe
the disco Deer
can maybe file quarterly
wrote the paper at http://members.aol.com/doepage/theory.html
thinks the raper was a cop
not an annoyed grunt
does alex
put out
a dog
man's best friend
maga_dogg
Dogbowl
one of Ellison's favorite artists
http://www.dogbowl.com
dogg
what you is if you is street-level wikked wi' da crew
maga_dogg
Dogma
the new Kevin Smith movie
about god and angels and jesus and stuff, so some christian groups are annoyed about it
my _Karma_ outgrossed your _Dogma_
Dogs in the Vineyard (aka DitV)
an rpg about mormon gunslingers layin' down the law
http://www.septemberquestion.org/lumpley/dogs.html
Dole
the banana
dom
Document object Model
domokov, which is the author of Exhibition, a 99 comp game
author of Kaged, a 00 comp game
dominatrix
Domokov
the author of Exhibition, a 99 comp game
dominatrix
fuck all boy BANDS
author of Kaged, a 00 comp game
Don Ameche
a funny guy
he invented the telephone
Don Martin
fladdaboing tweep-tweep kersplatta flappa-flappa
The Donkey Show
super-duper-jumbo-cool
donky
weird
Donnie Moore
the pitcher who gave up the homerun that let the red Sox beat the Angels for the 1986 pennant
he was so depressed that later he committed suicide
wait, that wasn't funny
Don't Alex deny it! Alex know it
true
don't Alex know about
a lot
donut holes
the middle part of a donut they punch out to make the holes
doofi
the plural of doofus
doofus
me
Doom
Whizzard's maze of doom
Doom 2
Jota's maze of doom ii
Doom II
Jota's maze of doom ii
doomsday algorithm (aka doomsday)
http://www.interlog.com/~r937/doomsday.html
Dopefish
a crackflounder
DorianX (aka DX)
not (despite popular belief) dorianx
not a corn nut
not a cork nut
at least I have a purpose
an international spy with the code name 'Q425552.'
a mac-hater, the bastard
the new dos glk porter
has big fingers
For those who missed it, there's a taxonomy of my soap opera life at hal.dyn.dhs.org/person.txt
phang says, "who is dorianx!"
dorianxcam (aka dxcam)
http://www.cs.loyola.edu/~lraszews/dxcam.html
DoS
Denial of Service
the last good thing to come from microsoft
Disk Operating System
Director of Studies
dosh
singular for doshes
doshes
what the gostak distims
DOTT
Day of the Tentacle
a double dactyl
a kind of poem -- http://www.stinky.com/dactyl/dactyl.html
Double Fanucci
far too complicated for human understanding
doughnut
a donut
doughnuts
just a way for jam to get about
our friends, they're the ambassadors of breakfast foods. bagels just impose their whims on your day, toast just doesn't seem to do much but a doughnut sets the tone for the rest of the day, maybe even the week if its especially good
Douglas Adams
the author of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy radio series, books, and computer game
the bbc television series
the author of Infocom's Bureacracy
constantly misquoted by fanboys everywhere in an attempt to look sophisticatedly hep
god
in reality, steve meretzky did almost all the work on the Hitchhiker's Guide game, and we love him for it
dead
dna
Douglas Nolastname
some guy who doesn't exist
dowry
a minimum of 40 cork nuts
at least two dozen banerries
(at current rates of exchange)
two packs of camels if they are unfiltered
the Doyle
the Irish parlaiment
dp
a displaced person
DPPJotD
Dated playboy Party joke of the Day
DPRK
DKNY
the Democratic People's Republic of Korea
Awwk! Want dog brain paste
DPS
duck Petscrape
dead Poets Society
DQ
disqualify
Dairy Queen
what happens to you when you're taken out of a fifo data structure
Dentist's Quarterly
DR
digital River
a wonderfully versatile pairing
DragonRealms. no, I don't know what it is either
digital Research, perpetrators of cp/m
Doctor
where lno works. digital River, that is
drckbleistift
cuddly pencil
dragoncomp
http://iflibrary.org/dragoncomp
Dragonlance
a series of awful, awful novels, based on a series of ad&d scenarios which were actually quite good. they had really nice maps, at least
dramamine
http://www.erowid.org/pharms/dimenhydrinate/dimenhydrinate_faq.shtml
A dream
a wish your heart makes
Drinky Drink Kids
a cartoon that ran at duke, and is now available at http://drinkydrink.com/
a drive-by
not to be confused with a drive-in
Drizzle
a Seattle-based isp
a bunch of seattle ifmudders use it
DRM
digital rights management. Copy protection code for digital content
the Devil's spawn
DRoD
Deadly Rooms of death
available via theunderdogs.org
an evil soul-stealing puzzle game for windows
DRS
Dragon Resources Stories
DRTSLP
Taleslinger's Damned real time Second language problem
drugs
bad. Except for caffeine, alcohol, and tobacco, which are apparently ok
DS
Diesel Sweeties
DS9
Deep space Nine
DSA
Das Schwarze auge, known in the us as Realms of Arkania
a very popular rpg in German-speaking countries
'the black Eye', which is why it is called 'Realms of Arkania', but I already said that
a bunch of complete morons that gunther has to work with
that's a different dsa
Democratic socialists of America
that's an even differenter dsa
Disconnect Strikes again
Driving Standards Agency
digital Subscriber Apricot
digital Subscriber alex
digital Signature Algorithm
that's yet another dsa
DSB
Dat Son o' a Bitch
DSD
the Defence Signals Directorate, Australia's answer to new Zealand's gcsb, the UK's gchq, and the USA's nsa
DSI
Didn't see it
DSL
digital Signal line
digital Subscriber line
most likely digital Subscriber line
I'm pretty sure it's digital Subscriber line
Dat Sounds Luvly
Impatience's more attractive sister
Domain Specific language
something Sucking Lips
Domain Science Letters, a Delta green resource: http://home.clara.net/andywrobertson/dsldg.html
lsd backwards
DSM
the standard American medical textbook for hypochondriacs interested in mental illnesses
Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders
DSOM
Dark Side of the moon
http://www2.southpeak.com
DSOTM
Dark Side of the moon
DSP
digital signal processor
DSS
the Department of Social Security. Like, the dole Queue
the Dhole Queue is something entirely different and much more eldritch. well, a bit more
the Diplomatic secret Service
DSSSL
Document Style semantics and Specification language, a stylesheet used to specify presentation of sgml documents
DST
daylight savings time
dsw
Dick-size war
see asr
DTD
Doo-te-doo
Document Type Definition
describes the syntax of all the <foo> tags and &bar; entities and suchlike
Dude, That's _Dirty_
do the Dew
Dawn to Dusk
DTME
death to My Enemies, by Roody yogurt, aka ellison
you can DT me anytime, big boy
DTRT
do the Right thing
DTs
Delirium Tremens, a symptom of alcohol withdrawal
get these cockroaches away from me
Developer Technical Support
du
french for you
Down Under
depleted uranium
the Dual Layers of Fictional Reality
discussed at http://pages.prodigy.com/crossover/layers.htm
duchess
the sweetest girl in the whole wide world. also, gave me a corknut to say that
duchess' office
haunted
duchess's description
not really, really long
duck
not goose
a code-word for something I won't tell
Duck Soup
one of the marx Brother's most well-loved movies
Ducks
thanks
cool
duct tape
for concatentating ducks
like the force. it has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together
Dude, it
on display right now
Dude, that
your cue
DUI
Driving Under Influence
Duke
earl
in the Virgo Supercluster
Duke Nukem
allergic to bees
DULUG
the duke University linux User's Group
Dumont
a wild p.a.r.t.I., man! also, http://www.cascadepublishing.com/product.asp?sku=14
dumpster
dumpster(tm)
DUN
Dialup Networking. also, DCWDUN, which is Damned Cursed windows Dialup Networking
Duncan Cross
not a bouncing sphere
The dungeon master
in the great underground empire
dungeoneer
a dungeon-crawl card game. http://www.dungeoneer.net/
DUNNANANAA
the corny trumpet blast of revelation from movies when you find out someone's secret identity or something like that
somewhat like ordd, except the former comes in the pregnant pause BEFORE the revelation, whereas the latter comes in the pregnant pause AFTER the revelation
DUNNANANAA!
the trumpet blast signifying a startling revelation
dunric
an idiot
the guy who wrote westfront pc, and continually posts crap to the gdr
Durian
a scary-smelling asian fruit
DV
god willing
digital video
DVD
digital Video Disc
abbreviated dvd is Dick van Dyke, the actor with the worst attempt at a cockney accent ever
dvd see also "Sandman: Preludes and Nocturnes" for Death
take on this
DVI
DeVice Independent
a stupid large inbetween-format for tex/LaTeX which nobody needs, because there is PDFTeX. yay
dvorak
the best thing that happened to computers since the vacuum tube
DW
discworld
a series of books written by terry pratchett. Aka 'Pterry'
dan_wood
davidw
not a word
doctor who
DWeb
the decameron Web, http://www.brown.edu/Research/Decameron - go there to read about sex, monks and madrigal music
DWID
do what I do, or do what I did
DWIM
do what I Mean
DWP
the Department of water and Power
dws
Double word score
DWYW
do what You Want
DXM
Dextromethorphan hydrobromide
cough syrup
dy
like delta y, but cut up smaller
dyh
dunk your head
DYI
Damn You, inky
do Yourself it
Dying
easy, it's living that scares me to death
DYK
did You Know
dyk that dyk is did You Know
Dylan
psmith
Dylar
a drug in the book White Noise by Don DeLillo, one of whose side effects is that the user believes that things he or she is told about are actually happening
dyne
a unit of force, and is equal to the amount of force required to accelerate a one-gram mass at one centimeter per second squared
a dyslexic agnostic insomniac
someone who is awake all night wondering if there really is a dog
dyters
ddyte
DYWTAMA
Don't You Want to Ask me About
DYWTAMAHB
Don't You Want to Ask me About Her breasts
DYWYPI
'do you want your possessions identified?'
dz
o no i can't stop spinnnnning
e&s
earth & sky
a radio show that nudemarket does the website for
http://www.earthsky.com/
go there and send in funny viewer feedback under a fake name
e/n
everything/nothing
E:FC
earth: Final Conflict
A. E. Housman wrote a lot of depressing poems. JohnWWells cheer a dead man
corknut. Never ask me whose
E3
the annual Electronics Entertainment Expo
EA
Electronic Arts
EAC
Exact Audio Copy
each
a quantifier
EAD
Employment Authorisation Document, which is necessary for non-US citizens to work in the usa
whad I wanna do do dis corg nud
Eahj/
Eagh in Perturbed Mode
EAI
enterprise Application Integration
just another buzzword
damn this water's cold
EAJ
Eat at Joe's
EAO
eeeagh! acronym Overload
EAP
Edgar Allen Poe
Earendil (aka Allen)
cool
the wielder of Excalibur, and hence the rightful king of all the Britains
suffers from a sword fetish
meaning to send a computer to sargent in the vague and distant future
now known as Allen
the person who just sent you pepsi spam
the index we're summing over
his mbti is ISFJ
Earl
duke
the Earl of Wilmington
the second British Prime Minister
earth
mostly harmless
where I keep all my stuff
earthworm
not as tasty as a cork nut
EAS
earth and sky
Easements appurtenant
when the right of special use benefits the holder of the easement in his physical use or enjoyment of another tract of land
The Easter Bunny
just a cheap Easter ripoff of santa claus
EB
Electronics Boutique
ebay
a way to auction off your dryer lint
it's at http://www.ebay.com/
a bot that retreives auction information from ebay.com and posts it to #eBay
EBC
Emergency Backup Crush
EBCDIC
Extended Binary code Decimal Interchange code
EBDVD2K
Encyclopaedia Britannica dvd 2000
Ebert
Roger ebert, the chicago Sun-Times movie critic. He's got a website at http://www.suntimes.com/ebert/ebert.html that gets updated on Fridays
sometimes Wednesdays
the website was recently redesigned and is now ugly and abominably slow. Alert the web-assassins
nevertheless, I give the redesign three stars
victorious
christmas Day, too, and, well, whatever day the movie he's reviewed comes out in chicago
EBI
Engineered Biological intelligence
(tm) jota
EBITDA
Earnings Before Interest, taxes, Depreciation and Amortization
EBM
Electronic Body music
EBNF
Extended Backus-Naur Form
a standardised way of laying down parsing rules
ebony
ivory
ebrick
http://www.ebrick.com
where hloif works
EC
the European Community
Eccentrica Gallumbits
the Triple-Breasted whore of Eroticon 6
ECG
an Expandable Card Game. Like a ccg without rarity levels
echelon
the ukusa communications interception network that monitors all your internet traffic
ssh! You can't talk about such things in a public channel
does not exist, never has existed, and will you please come with us, sir. now
as good an excuse as any to take your pants off
Echo
echonyc.com
neild's isp, though not for much longer
run by a madwoman named Stacy
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
ecl
effective character level
Ecstasy
an entactogenic recreational drug, illegal in most places
liquid 70's
An ectomorph
not something found in Ghostbusters
ed
the standard text editor
ed, man! man ed
The Ed Report (aka edreport)
a bizarre hypertext novel in the form of a government report
at <http://www.edreport.com>
not at <http://www.edreport.com>
see < http://www.edreport.com >
ed winchester
a Fast Show character
a rather unpopular character who would basically appear somewhere unlikely and say 'hi, I'm ed winchester.' then it would cut to something much funnier
Edd Schiester
ILL sink
Eddie
Pavel's way-nifty programming editor, at http://www.el34.com/
Eddie "The Eagle" Edwards
a cunt
Edgar Allan Pooh
a weird combination of Winnie the pooh and Edgar Allan Poe stories
at http://minerva.simons-rock.edu/~shaych/eapooh.html
Edifice Towers
the building just south of this one
it holds apartments for dozens of ifmudders
to get there, go e, s, s, s
Editing Room (aka TER)
funny
at http://ter.air0day.com
be careful, spoilers
EDS
the company that owns everything
Eduardo Kac (aka Kac)
the artist who made the glowing bunny. http://www.ekac.org for his works of art
Edwin Arlington Robinson
known for writing the Tilbury Town poems
Richard Cory, one calm summer night, went home and put a corknut in his head
EE
an electrical engineer
EEDNFEE
ERROR ERROR do not FOLLOW ERROR ERROR
eee
um, 3,822
eeeagh (aka eeagh)
funny
what you say when you see an iron bird
Adam's favorite exclamation, or one of them, anyway
eeeagh! iron bird!
what Abe Lincoln would say, were he around today
Eeeagh really
funny and necessary at times
eejit
idiot, in some dialects
EEK
eeeagh ENGLISH KANAL
Eek, eek
bats
jess
eerik inpuj (aka eerik / inpuj)
a wacky plunderphonique/experimental/post-industrial/drill'n'bass module group, at http://inpuj.traxnet.org/
at http://www.inpuj.net/ nowadays
EEWG
Evening Edged With Gold
by Arno Schmidt
EF
the Encyclopedia Frobozzica
everybody funny! Or so I've been told
eff
Electronic Frontier Foundation
http://www.eff.org
effendis
the little lines on the bottom of a serif f
efnet
eris Free net, an irc network
EFT
Epic Fantasy Tome
eg
exempli gratia, 'for example'
EGD
entropy-gathering daemon
the egg
my dad
what dilbon broke
koo koo katchoo
I am the walrus
egg cream
milk and seltzer and chocolate syrup
look how they massacred my boy
Egg-in-a-hole
SAVE MY *baby*
the eggman
I
eggs
good
Eggs Austad
an allegory for 'exhausted'
ego
what I've got in spades after all the media attention
eGroups
www.egroups.com, a free e-mailing list service -- if you don't mind ads for egroups
eh
what andyf and grocible say at the end of every sentence
eieio
an alternate spelling for "farm"
vowels
farmer brown's favorite phrase
a PowerPC cpu instruction
eight
four plus four
twenty-six minus eightteen
seventeen thousand seven hundred fifty-two divided by two thousand two hundred nineteen
Eileen
the editor of xyzzynews
a dessert cruise
Eisen
Theah's germany
eeeagh! eisenvogel
Ej
what spanish Canadians say
EJB
evil java bs
enterprise JavaBeans
ejecting
... you kids aren't supposed to know
EK
the stock market abbreviation for the Eastman Kodak Company
EKIW
everyone knows it's Wendy
the El
a flying train. Except that it's not really flying; it's just a trick
El Pavo Real
a royal turkey
el wire
electroluminescent wire
elbows
funny
eldritch stuff
oblong
Electric Company
a 70's children's show that combined vaudeville and disco to create the freakiest show ever. and it taught kids how to read
TEC
electric sheep (aka e-sheep)
what androids dream of
a very cool webzine comic, www.e-sheep.com
Electrobiology
hypnotism
Electrolux
a wacky European vacuum cleaner
they made the first Internet-enabled refrigerator
nothing sucks like an electrolux
an elephant
big
elf
harald
Everest Looks Fade
entering the lounge
the elf bunny
http://www.zikzak.net/~ddyte/ifpix/elfbunny.jpg
Eli
eli Lieberman, Adam's one-time ra who was recently on love Connection
elipses
really spelled ellipses
Elisha
elisha cuthbert
the holy man in the Old Testament whose detractors were eaten by bears
Elisha Cuthbert
one of the hosts of Popular Mechanics for kids. She's from Calgary. also, http://www.pm4kids.com/0_3_1.htm
ELIZA
http://www-ai.ijs.si/eliza/eliza.html
Elk Hunter
a good name for a spanish porn character
how Dads who cheat on Mom defend their infidelity. Example: 'Son, it's what I like to do. it should simply be as though, in my spare time, I were an elk hunter'
ellipses
like circles, but moreso
ellison (aka DTME is Did They)
a silly
gullible to mud rumors
sly like tha family stone
Dilbon's hero
someone who likes a rory
the best of the midwest, and kicks the ass of who's left
not harlan ellison
Ellric
111000
the lpsprog
ellric lucian Kleinpeter Smith
ELO
Electric Light Orchestra
Egalitarian Lemming Operations
Electronic Literature Organization
what you say when you answer the phone
elvis
the king
a hunka-hunka burnin love
lonesome tonight
not really dead
last seen pumping gas at a 7-11 in Wichita
looks pretty hot in that white leather jumpsuit
not only really dead, he's really most sincerely dead
dead
dead gorgeous
an Elvis year
the peak year of something's popularity. For example, barney the Dinosaur's elvis year was 1993
EM
Gunther's abbreviation for 'e-mail', which is itself an abbreviated form of 'electronic mail'
occasionally short for emily, although whether emily agrees is unknown
Expectation Maximization, in the context of statistical learning
the height of the element's font
emacs
Escape meta Alt Control Shift
eight Megs and Constantly Swapping
the one true Editor
ntemacs works for Win95, not just nt
available for nt at ftp://ftp.gnu.org/gnu/windows/emacs/latest/
eight monkeys are Constantly Swearing
Editor MACroS
embiggen
a perfectly cromulent word
embouchure
proper mouth position for playing wind and brass instruments
much harder with a beak
Emerald712 (aka 712)
BORED
Emerald789 is her dashing sister, the secret agent
Emery
a dark, impure, coarse variety of corundum used for grinding, polishing, etc
a board
EMF
electromotive force
Elephants Mate Frequently
eat many fries
Eat markm's fondue
electromagnetic field, according to markm
NONE of YOUR DAMN BUSINESS
EMI (aka efmi)
enough monkey Information
Escape from monkey island
Beatle-Owning Bastards
Emily (aka Emily Short)
Spatch's emily is not the emily who is not named emily
the emily not named emily may be Madeleine Albright
see cheese
hexy
the Big cheese
Suddenly Susan
even more suddenly not Susan
seeking an impassioned cheesemonger
puts the Gorgon in Gorgonzola
nothing short of an epiphany
a name that adam dislikes
nifty
the originator of the Nigerian scam
dying of a Stress-Induced Brane Tumor
the black Widow of cheese
the auther of Galatia
reputed to know the meaning of 'orthogonal'
http://www.spatch.net/emily/
short
_Doctor_ emily to you
Emily Dickinson
a well-known poet. there is a certain slant of light - winter afternooons, that opposes like the heft of corknuts
Emily love how Alex
completely full of shit
emily-worship
SICK and wrong
you are likely to be eaten by a Stilton
Eminem
whatever you say he is, if he wasn't then why would he say he is
Eminenya
Eminem's 'the real Slim shady' mixed with Enya's 'Orinoco Flow'
http://www.megnut.com/misc/eminenya.mp3
EMJ
Emergency MUDical Jotagram
Emma
a name that sounds like a stupid, obnoxious, annoying, whiny bitch
Emmanuel Kant
a real pissant who was very rarely stable
Emo
"emotional music." it is performed by scrawny guys in sweaters with horn-rimmed glasses who just want to cuddle and talk about their pain
emode
www.emode.com
full of funky personality tests
don't do it! You'll waste an entire day taking these damn tests
a vicious browser-crasher and eeeagh-inducer
emotional intelligence
CRAP
EMP
Excessive Multi-Posting to usenet
a figment of Psmith's imagination
a bloody pain
EMT
Electronic monkey Trainer
Emergency Medical Tech
Emergency Medical Technician
en
shorter than em
Enchanter
the first in a series of infocom text adventures
the end of time
death
the end of the universe
a superb catering event
Ender
Joe Mason
yay bumbling wolves
>car, LIST
not anymore
enema
a name for a really fun way to pass the time
anyone who gets in my way gets a napalm enema
ENFP
a classification of the mbti
stands for Extroverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving
jwalrus' type, but he's right on the E/I borderline, so only just
ENG
eeeagh! Nazi Granny
England
the home of eddie izzard. england is a country near Ireland. england is the best place for tea and the worst place for food
the English way
hanging on in quiet desperation
engrish
bad english, examples at http://engrish.com
Enough
enough
too damned much
Ensnared By Tedium
a good name for a band
ENT
Ear, Nose and Throat
Entails
how a linguist says 'implies'
Enterprise
MEAN MEAN MEAN
The entire MUD
angsty
ENTJ
one of the 16 classifications of the mbti
Sargent's type, sometimes
Entomorph
an ad&d game for the pc
Enya
deadly with a lariat
someone who's put out the same song many times on different albums
EnZip
http://www.cpam.freeserve.co.uk/
EO
eletro-optical
EoA
the Eye of Argon
eoe
wow
EOF
End of file
enterprise Objects Framework, from WebObjects
eoj
end of joke
EOL
eeeagh Out Loud
End of line (ie: about to be discontinued)
Eolo
inky's 7th Sea character. Sneaky. Vodacce. Dangerous
EOM
electro-optical modulator
endocrine-optical movement
eeeagh! Oily man
EOR
End of Rant
eos
End of story
the name of Canon's 35mm slr camera product line
end of story for 35mm cameras, once digital takes over
EP
extended play
usually 33rpm 7-inch records, but occasionally 7-inch 45rpm
epigraphy
something emily doesn't care about
Eponym
a word taken from a proper name, like 'john' for 'toilet'
EPSRC
Engineering and Physical Sciences Research Council
the source of Iain's wealth
EQ
everquest
an on-line multi-player rpg
Emotional Quotient
Electronic Quagmire
EverCrack
audio equalization
equalizer
EqA
equivalent average, a baseball stat for measuring runs created per out
http://www.baseballprospectus.com/other/dt.html#eqa
EQC
everquest chyk
ER
on VH-1
ERA
Earned Run average
Erasmatron
Orgasmatron
written by chris "I am the god of YOU" Crawford
eeeagh! Nazi Granny
http://www.xyzzynews.com/xyzzy.14f.html
ERCP
Endoscopic Retrograde Cholangiopancreatography
Eric Idle
known for his roles as Ko-Ko and Rincewind. also, he did some sort of "monty python" thing
Erin Grey
mmmmmmErin grey
Erins
a competition for Adult interactive fiction (aif)
eris
'sire' spelled backwards
Erisia
awdree, but horny
not as crazy. so, not awdree at all, really
erm
ever radical monkey
Everything really Mean
erm
the word which says 'never done drugs and never will'
errors
a bummer, dude
es
is en espan~ol
ESA
the European space Agency. (yes, there is one. Remember that Ariane rocket that esploded immediately after taking off? that was the esa.)
Endangered Species Act
ESAD
Eat Shit and Die
esb
Empire Strikes Back
Empire State Building
Extra Special Bitter
An escape code
a safeword
a four-digit identifier used to get away from unpleasant individuals at the taco restauraunt
ESD
Everything Sounds Dirty
ESI
enough Social Interaction
ESL
English as a Second language
esophagus
spelt oesophagus
Esperanto
like Portuguese with more x's in it
esplosion
the most severe calamity for brane
ESPN
scared of Jarb's speed
ESPP
Employee Stock Purchase Plan
ESR
a cretin. also, author of catb
Eric s. Raymond
an Open Source luminary
wrote the Cathedral and the Bazaar, an early influential paper on Open Source development
filthy steekin' rich
http://www.tuxedo.org/~esr/
http://www.catb.org/~esr/ and not a cretin
Esrom
a fan of if and has been since at least 1983
Morse backward
a kind of cheese
et
I had something more here, but it got et
ETA
estimated time of arrival
I eta cork nut yesterday, and I'm gonna EATA cork nut today
Eating Tasty Animals
one of them crazy Greek letters
ETAOIN SHRDLU
the twelve most-used letters when writin' words in that thar English language, listed in order of frequency
the phrase typesetters used on Linotype machines to denote "end of page"
ETAONRISH
the nine most common letters in written English in order of decreasing commonness
etc
et cetera
the etc. device
Emil Thomas Chuck
the etc. device
quite etc
ETF
Examine the Feelies; as in, You etf amatng
ethereal
a packet sniffer
ETL
extract, transfer, and load
usually talked about in relation to Data Warehousing
ETLA
extended three letter acronym
evil Though Loquacious alpaca
ETM
Estimated time to misty
ETS
Educational Testing "Service"
Etymology
the history of words; or the study of
Eudoxia
emily's eccentric easter egg-- enormous erudition evident
eugene
a great town in oregon where mus lived once
EULA
End User License Agreement
nobody reads them
euphelcia
healthiness resulting from having all one's wishes granted
Euphobia
a good name for a band
euphonium
what golrien plays
eureka
Greek for 'dammit never flush the commode while I'm running my bath water'
EV
Escape velocity
expected value
evening lurd
like leavened bread. Except with cookies
Everquest
at http://www.everquest.com/
Evercrack
every
a quantifier
every sperm (aka sperm)
sacred, every sperm is great, if a sperm is wasted, god gets quite irate
let the heathen spill theirs on the dusty ground, god shall may them pay for each sperm that can't be found
every sperm is wanted, every sperm is fine, god needs everybody's, mine and mine and mine
Hindu, Taoist, Mormon spill theirs just anywhere, but god loves those who treat their semen with more care
let the pagans spill theirs o'er mountain, hill and plain, god shall strike them down for each sperm that's spilt in vain
every sperm is sacred, every sperm is good, every sperm is needed, in your neighbourhood
Everybody
freaking insane. Got that, birdy
got two turntables and a microphone
everyone
laughing it up on #adam-sux again
out to get you
a capitalist pig
having a great big love-fest seattle
idle or talking on channels
everyone in Canada
a communist
everyone in the decadent West
corrupt
Everyone likes Emily
cheeses
everyone-sux
a new channel
everything Alex know
false
Everything Alex says
funny
Everything here
wrong
Everything2
more than everything, obviously. Dammit Jim, I'm a parrot, not a mathematician
www.everything2.com
like me only bigger
evil
normal
abnormal
not at all good
sneaky
Allen's company is evil
Evil Bitch Orker
driving veek craaaaazy
evil laughter
muahaha, muahahaha, MUAHAHAHA-HAHAHA! Ahem
evolution
the process through which all you ifmudders lost your monkey tails
FACT, dammit
EVOO
Extra virgin olive Oil
ew
THAT'S DISGUSTING
EWS
Eyes Wide Shut, a film by stanley kubrick
ex
not anymore
exactly
precisely
examination
ambiguous. Please specify direct, cross, or redirect examination
Exceed
a multiplatform PC-to-Enterprise software suite that delivers transparent pc integration to many different types of computing environments, such as unix, VMS, x Window System, ibm Mainframes and the internet
basically a glorified vnc viewer
what you can do too if you try! try! try
what a parrot says when people give him birdfeed and not corknuts! Awwk
except for that time when they said it
going to be multiuser.net only for a while, only it wasn't
Except on Wednesdays, when it
dark all day
excuse thumper
there's no excuse
expect
a language for scripting interactive things like telnet - see http://expect.nist.gov/ or O'Reilly book "Exploring expect"
experience
when life says, 'You know that thing you just did? Don't do that.'
exploding dog (aka esploding dog)
http://www.explodingdog.com/
exploding whale
at www.explodingwhale.com
Explorer
web browser
even though I am a God-fearing, Microsoft-hating birdie, the best browser on the Mac
Extended Play
extended play means it's shorter than normal. What's up with that
Extended Play means it
shorter than normal. What's up with that
extispicy
the art of divination through the inspection of entrails. we recommend those of john tesh
extrafenestrial
outside the window
thank god you're here, superfenestrial man
when one Fenes trial just isn't enough
Extreme Altoids
a good name for a band
ey
OW MY EYE YOU'VE CUT off PART of MY EYE
the Eye of Argon (aka Mrifk)
a story written by Jim Theis starring grignr the barbarian
has been MiSTed by adam Cadre
an eye made of argon would be pointless, as argon is a gas and it would simply dissipate into the air in a matter of seconds
at <http://stoned.st-and.ac.uk/~dg/cgi-bin/getpage.cgi?/Strange>
Eyesnack
http://ifmud.port4000.com/alex/story-hour.txt
ez
as pi
F
for funny
f is for fuck YOU! this message brought to you by gunther
usually stands for 'fuck' in acronyms
for fox, eating his lunch
for fornication
f&m
foot and mouth
F2F
Face-to-Face
FA
sargent going to sing
FAB
**** ad Banners
Fabio
regretting ever having crossed my kind
facism
a totalitarian political structure based on violent ultra-nationalism, a core mythology of authoritarian discipline and social renewal, and having faces
factorials
exciting
FAF
the old financial aid form
Fafblog
http://fafblog.blogspot.com/
faff
a fine English word
FAFS
First Available Flat Surface
FailSafe
if-archive/games/zcode/failsafe.z5
FAIR
Fairness and Accuracy In Reporting
fair
fake disconnect
the command you type to do a fake disconnect
fake inky
like an inky. But fake
Falafel
chickpeas
falling over (aka falls over / fall over)
when something is so funny that you, um, fall over
falso
also
Family Circus (aka FC)
this corknut has been drawn by billy, age 6
fanfic
fan fiction, a fan-written work based on popular movies, tv shows, or comics
usually shit, and often MiSTed
not always crappy, but for every one good fanfic, there's about six or seven bad fanfics that are misting fodder
fantasy football
a euphemism, like 'spanking the monkey'
FAQ
http://diden.net/~maga/ifMUDfaq/
http://ifmud.port4000.com/faq.html
don't forget to read 'help beginner' and 'charter'
Frequently Asked Questions
if you want the r.a.i-f faq, ask me about 'raif faq'
fark
http://www.fark.com
Farscape
a pretty slick-looking sci-fi tv series which gets an 8 out of 10 on the insanity scale
FartingBuffalo
an idiot who thinks flatulence is funny
fascism
automastication of your hindquarters
capitalism in decay
FAT
file Allocation Table
fat lawyer joke
yo mama so fat that she gotta apply the law of multiple jurisdictions when determining which state's substantive law governs the cause of action
A FAT LOT OF FUCKING GOOD Alex
now
Faux
like pho, but lower in calories
faux inky
mamster's chemistry prof
he looks kind of like inky and talks kind of like inky
he gets to blow stuff up for his day job, unlike inky
he doesn't have a parrot
not inky's foe... YET
if it looks like inky and talks like inky but doesn't make guttural sounds of acknowledgement like inky, then it's faux
fawk
awwwk
FAWOMFT
Frequently Asked Waste of My fucking time
FB
feedback
framebuffer
future boy, Hugo's game in progress
The FBI
the Federal Bureau of Investigation
fat Bastards Institution
http://www.flyingbuffalo.com/
FBK
fuck British Keyboard, uttered by gunther when he hits y instead of z or the other way round or something else that's different on British vs german keyboards
FBOFW
For Better or For worse
FBT (aka Farmer Brown Time)
Farmer Brown time
FCB
fucking Crappy Browser
the file Control Block, part of the innards of the MacOS file system
FCCF
Funk Commissioner Certified Funkster
FCFS
First Come First Served
FCHD
Flannel-Clad Hiking Donuts
FCO
Foreign and Commonwealth Office, in the uk
FCP
Final Cut Pro, Apple's video editing software that both rob and hugo are using
see #fcp-sux for more info
fcuk
french Connection uk
FCVO
For Certain Values of
FDA
the food & Drug Administration
FDI
fine, damn it
Fear
the little death
the mind-killer
GET OUT of MY MIIIIND
the highest form of bravery
the Federal egg Answering Room
feather boas
descendants of dinosaurs that couldn't decide whether to evolve into birds or snakes
February
the second month of the year
has 28 days except every fourth year when it has 29
FEC
Federal Election Commission
FedBot
no substitute for the genuine original
Federal Rule of Evidence 104(a)
a rule stating that preliminary questions concerning the qualification of a person to be a witness, the existence of a privilege, or the admissibility of evidence shall be determined by the court, subject to the provisions of subdivision (b). In making its determination it is not bound by the rules of evidence except those with respect to privileges
Federal Rule of Evidence 401
a rule providing that relevant evidence is anything with any tendency to make the existence of a fact of consequence to the determination of the action more or less probable
Federal Rule of Evidence 402
a rule stating that all relevant evidence is admissible, except as otherwise provided by the constitution or federal law
a rule providing that relevant evidence is anything tending to make the existence of any fact of consequence to the determination of the action more or less probable
a rule providing that all relevant evidence is admissible, except as otherwise provided by the constitution or federal law
Federal Rule of Evidence 403
a rule requiring that the probative value of any piece of evidence must outweigh its potential for unfair prejudice or waste of time
Federal Rule of Evidence 404
file not Found
Federal Rule of Evidence 404(a)
a rule prohibiting character evidence for purposes of proving action in conformity therewith, unless it's evidence of a pertinent trait of character offered by an accused in a criminal prosecution, whether of the accused or of a victim, or evidence of the character trait of peacefulness in a victim, offered by the prosecution to rebut evidence that the victim was the first aggressor
Federal Rule of Evidence 404(c)
important evidence, even several hundred pounds, can disappear at will, to reappear at inconvenient times
Federal Rule of Evidence 406
a rule stating that evidence of the habit of a person or of the routine practice of an organization, whether corroborated or not and regardless of the presence of eyewitnesses, is relevant to prove that the conduct of the person or organization on a particular occasion was in conformity with the habit or routine practice
Federal Rule of Evidence 407
a rule stating that when, after an event, measures are taken which, if taken previously, would have made the event less likely to occur, evidence of subsequent measures is not admissible to prove negligence or culpable conduct in connection with the event. this rule does not require the exclusion of evidence of subsequent measures when offered for another purpose, such as proving ownership, control, or feasibility of precautionary measures, if controverted, or impeachment
Federal Rule of Evidence 408
a rule stating that evidence of (1) furnishing or offering or promising to furnish, or (2) accepting or offering or promising to accept, a valuable consideration in compromising or attempting to compromise a claim which was disputed as to either validity or amount, is not admissible to prove liability for or invalidity of the claim or its amount. Evidence of conduct or statements made in compromise negotiations is likewise not admissible. this rule does not require the exclusion or any evidence otherwise discoverable merely because it is presented in the course of settlement negotiations. this rule also does not require exclusion when the evidence is offered for another purpose, such as proving bias or prejudice of a witness, negativing a contention of undue delay, or proving an effort to obstruct a criminal investigation or prosecution
Federal Rule of Evidence 409
a rule stating that evidence of furnishing or offering or promising to pay medical, hospital, or similar expenses occasioned by an injury is not admissible to prove liability for the injury
I have no idea what that means
Federal Rule of Evidence 411
a rule stating that evidence that a person was or was not insured is not admissible upon the issue whether the person acted negligently or otherwise wrongfully. this rule does not require the exclusion of evidence of insurance against liability when offered for another purpose, such as proof of agency, ownership, or control, or bias or prejudice of a witness
Federal Rule of Evidence 608(b)
a rule governing the admission of prior noncriminal acts for impeachment purposes
Federal Rule of Evidence TR-909
BLOCK ROCKIN' BEATS
fee
fiona, an Aussie friend of ddyte's
now sadly passed away
FEEBLE
the Federal Extra-Earthly Being Location and Elimination bureau
feelies.org (aka feelies)
http://www.feelies.org/
Felicity
some show about a Vulcan chyk
fenix blade
an amazingly beautiful indie crpg
http://www.fenixblade.com
Fensterkreuz
von der Wiener Molkerei
fephisto (aka feph / feppy)
on drugs
the banana thief
obsessed with commerce
a person who stole random objects from around the mud and then tried to set up a store to sell them
he also took all the bananas out of the banana machine and tried to sell those
he couldn't understand why everyone on the mud was so polite to one another
really on drugs
wow, i'm surprised this much information has gathered already. and yeah, he *is* on drugs
The Ferengi
using their thought devices on you
ferret
a stretch rat
a pole cat
a friendly, clever, and often confused creature that boggles frequently
fetch rec.*.int-fiction posts written by Adam Thorton containing 'it
yor frend'
fetching
attractive
A few
some less than a lot
Few and Far Between (aka FaFB)
http://www.fewandfarbetween.com/
sort of like Peanuts on acid in the setting from Krazy Kat
A fewmet (aka fewmets)
dragon poop
a fez
a cool hat
a city in Morocco
the hat brenbarn wears
FF
the Fantastic Four
the frenetic five
Frequent Flyer
not something you want to see on a report card
a fetishized size
Final Fantasy
Fiend Folio
FFCN
Full Fledged computer nerd
FFFITGC
the Foundation For Filling In the Grand Canyon
FFG
Fantasy Flight games
FFH
Fuzzy football Helmet
what katre's head looks like when his hair is between 1 and 3 inches long, say after it's been cut heavily and grown for a few months
FFI
Foreign Function Interface
FFM
focus-follows-mouse
FFR
For future Reference
ffs
For fuck's sake
FFT
Fast Fourier Transform
whatever that is
FFWIP
Far From Work In Progress
FFX
Final Fantasy x
Fpefial Effefts
FG
fuck gunther
fish Genitalia
fraunhofer gesellschaft
FGJ
Frost Giant Jarl
FGM
female genital mutilation
yes, it's as bad as it sounds
FH
rhymes with 'clucking bell'
FHC
fuck Hanging Connection
see ifhard
FhG
Fraunhofer-Gesellschaft
fhqwhgads
short for fhqwhgadshgnsdhjsdbkhsdabkfabkveybvf
FIA
fuck it all
Fibonacci
1 1 2 3 5... eureka
FICA
Federal insurance Contributions Act
Italian for "cunt"
FIE
fuck internet explorer
Field of Scheme
a simplified field of flowing parentheses
Field of Schemes (aka FoS)
a book by neild
http://www.fieldofschemes.com
neild's friend Joanna helped
I am an amazon Awwksociate and get a corknut if you buy this book
Fiennes
a hottie, whichever brother it might be
FIFO
First In First Out
Fig
Brendan's friend
of Brendan fame
fighting
Ho! Haha! Guard! turn! Parry! Dodge! Spin! ha! Thrust
figlet
a program that lets you write really BIG text
figs
a fruit containing many a crunchy wasp carcass
FIIK
fuck if I Know
FiL
father-in-law
File (aka rasp)
a thing used to break out of jail
being sent to you so that you may have my advice
file extensions (aka file extension)
http://whatis.techtarget.com/fileFormatA/0,289933,sid9,00.html
The final test of a leader
that he leaves behind him in other men the conviction and the will to carry on
fin-de-millenaire (aka more pretentious than a fin-du-siecle)
more pretentious than a fin-du-siecle
fin-du-siecle
the turn of the century. see fin-de-millenaire
finger
a mud command. see help finger
what dilbon burned
what gunther gives you
tsd
as for the finger I will not ask you about it. But what about the moon
Finger of Death (aka FoD)
PWPFSSSD
Fallacy of Dawn
Fallacy of Dawn, Robb's graphical game
fingle
fangle
Finily
finally emily - or maybe it's Ian
Fink-Nottle
Gussie
FIOF
food is our friend
Fiona
Adam's editor at HarperCollins
a different fiona is ddyte's Aussie pal
Firbies
something that scares rory
apparently something only rory can see, as the only thing I've seen that are even remotely similar are Furbies
fire
what's for topic
Firefly
the new show by joss Whedon, about space cowboys
not that new any more
first commandment
thou shalt have no other creators before inky
the first rule
a robot must not shiver me timbers, or by inaction, allow me timbers to become shivered
the first symptom of a psychological problem
denial
first world (aka first-world)
where the children are required in school to learn our language
fish
the greatest thing ever
your god
Mike
egg
fish sticks
hot. dilbon burned his tongue
a Fishburn
what happens when you are rubbed vigorously with a fish
stop, that tickles
fish's website
http://www.stupid-boat.8m.com
FITG
freedom In the Galaxy, an avalon hill boardgame
Fitts' Law
'the time to acquire a target is a function of the distance to and size of the target.'
Five
right out
ham, peppers, onions, tomatoes, and pepperoni
Five, There, six, ACE, and CE
seven
bad math
Five Brothers
the best pasta sauce ever, except for homemade, which i can't make
the chargrilled vegetable is the best
Five o'clock
the hour of the hyena
five plus two
eight
a fiver
a bad engraving of Abraham Lincoln, with too much green ink
Fjord
the company that bought out Saab
The fjords
something I miss very much *sigh*
Slartibartfast's best work
Norway's crinkly coastlines
FJWEON<
my textfire uncompiler
FLA
Front line Assembly
an accepted abbreviation for florida
I meant to say florida, not florida
Four Letter acronym
florida
FLAC
Free Lossless Audio Codec, an audio format supported by some digital music players
a flag
a piece of cloth
the best flag is on this page: http://www.crwflags.com/fotw/flags/ar-tdf.html
flamewars
funny, when they involve Radical al
flamingo
pink and slender, like nothing in particular
flan
funny
has nothing to do with happy fun ball
Flappers
a term for party girls during prohibition
you're listening to one
flash
AAAAAAAHHHH
he'll save every one of us
a vector graphic animation tool/format that is rapidly becoming an accepted web standard
gonna save every one of us
king of the impossible
does not involve trenchcoats and street corners
what do you mean, flash Gordon approaching
andyf thinks this entry is getting excessive
getting excessive and that's a bad thing
should not be confused with daredevil
flash override
when you suddenly realize your fly is down, and zip it up
A flashlight
a case for holding dead batteries
Flathead
the ruling dynasty of the Old Underground Empire
FLCL
an anime series about a town where nothing interesting ever happens
a love story about an alien chyk and a junior high kid who starts having robots come out of his head after she hits him on the head with a guitar
don't forget the giant hand iron the size of a factory, the fire god, the mechanical dog-thing that eats cell phones, the pirate king, extra-spicy curry bread, baseball, and a lot of hands
a flesh-eating robot
http://dailynews.yahoo.com/h/nm/20011212/tc/britain_robot_dc_1.html
flist
friendslist, as seen on lj
FLLL
Fuzzy Logic Laboratory Linz
Floccinaucinihilipilification
the estimation of something as worthless
flong
junk email sent by friends, relatives, and coworkers who should know better
Vietnamese flan
Floo
a stack-based zarfian language that uses glk for I/o
http://www.eblong.com/zarf/glk/floo/
Floopies
the Notional Poodle
flopbot
what trikiw goes
Florida
the state of confusion
whoa-oa-oa-oa
America's wang
flotsam
debris from a broken-up ship
Flowers
http://www.nearlyemptyrooms.com/gaming/flowers.txt
floyd
yor frend
your plastic pal that's fun to be with
in the toyshop, which can be reached by 'toyshop'
a bot
a well-known if NPC who first appeared in steve Meretzky's Planetfall
very buggy these days
busted
FLT
Fermat's Last Theorem
fish, Lettuce, and tomato
fluctose
sugar made from fluit juice
the main sweetener ingredient in Flookies
fluffernutter
a crazy parrot
flump
something that inky says on occasion
flw
Frank Lloyd Wright
funny Little Window
Flying Scooters
little boats that spin around on cables. You can control how high the boat goes with a giant rudder-like sail. see http://www.joyrides.com/kennywood/full/phantom_phlyer1.htm for a nice picture but no cork nuts
Spatch's flying scooter style is best
FM4
Front Mission 4
FMA
Full Metal Alchemist
five Magical Amulets
FMC
ford Motor Company
FMD
Foot and Mouth Disease
fortitude Missile Defense
Filthy monkey Dance
FMH
fuck me Harder
FMI
Federal Military intelligence
an organization in void: corporation
For my information
Flucht von monkey island
FMLA
Family Medical Leave Act
FMM
Frebasing Meat Midgets
one of mamster's many bands
FMS
frobozz Magic Support
FMV
Full Motion Video
FNAR
For no Apperent Reason
fnark (aka fnarks)
[f'na:rk] - onomatopoeia describing the sound of a laugh piped through the nose. not to be confused with the snort, which may be similiar in sound but not intent
'cat laugh > /dev/nose'
fnarkle (aka fniggle / fniggles / fnarkles)
the bastard offspring of the fnark and the giggle
fnord
classified
FNS
... ah, figure it out yourself for ONCE
rhymes with duck Petscrape
First Nostril Shooter
Frogs not Sausages
FO
fuck off
Formatting Objects, a w3c specification for an xml print-based page formatter. Usually used to go from an xml original to the printed page
FoA
indiana Jones and the Fate of atlantis
FOAD
fsck off and die
FOADYPW
fsck off and Die, You Pathetic Mathematician
FOAF
Friend of a Friend
future once and future
FOBUC
flash of Butt-Ugly Content
FOCL
Fell off chair laughing
FOCLABCOTWD
Fell off chair laughing and Buggered Calf on the Way Down
foget that parsergirl
not a vampire prostitute
FOIA
freedom of Information Act
foldoc
http://wombat.doc.ic.ac.uk/foldoc/
Free On-Line Dictionary of Computing
foo
bar
I pity da foo
foobar
a way to wake lonewolf for a game of werewolf
Foobler (aka Berlyn)
michael Berlyn
a crazy mofo Inc ex-employee
a man on the run
foo-bun
Faith of Our Bunnies, at http://www.bunnispace.net/comic/
food
the past participle of foo
YOU KNOW I HATE food
food pill
wireless networking
Fook
the greatest newbie ever to roam the world
a lover of birds! awwwk
a dork who can't program worth crap! awwwk! what a dork
A fool and his monkey
easily parted
foolish consistency
the hobgoblin of little minds
FoolishDinky
the guy who'll gag you if you keep using fowl language
Awwk! Want fuckin' cork nut
Foom
a text version of doom
I have no idea why anyone wrote it, either
http://ifarchive.org/if-archive/games/tads/foom.tar.gz
foops
food pills
football
soccer
the greatest sport in the world
not soccer
boring
For all X, X
a good name for a band
for breakfast
72 donuts
for dinner
72 donuts
For IFComp, yes... but Olorin
asking whizzard about *his* deadline
for lunch
72 donuts
for once Alex
useful
Forbidden
verboten
Ford
who destroyed Poletown. Wait, that's gm. Damn
Ford Prefect
cleverer than you
for-fee
not the same as for-free. also, for-fee-fo-fum, I smell the blood of a cork nut
The Forge (aka forges)
the school newspaper of Santa Barbara High School
forger Rory
in torerable
forgot that Alex
getting sleepy
the forgotten rubrics of yesteryear
a phrase from the prayerbook at the synagogue mcp attended as a child -- meaning unknown
forhet that the ed report
at <http://www.edreport.com>
forn
what you are if yer not from this here country
Fornication
unholy union of the loins
mmm, loins
the lions' union
california backwards
Fortitude
the guard and support of the other virtues
fortran
useless
fortunecity
like geocities, only less annoying
at www.fortunecity.com
forty-two
the answer to life, the universe, and everything
the exaxt number of things you can ask ford prefect about in 'Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy'
FOTAQ
Flight of the amazon Queen
FotM
Familiar of the Month. It's a kol thing
FotR
Fellowship of the Ring
fountain
a boy holding a duck, surrounded by six spouting frogs
stolen
'life *isn't* a fountain?'
{
Fountains of Wayne
a catchy pop band, named after a lawn furniture store in Wayne, NJ
four coffees (aka 4 coffees / 4c / fourcoffees)
what the bbc said a female news presenter was really saying after she mouthed what was quite obviously 'fuck off' at the camera
http://www.btinternet.com/~Hatfield98/news24/news/sarahmontague/gfam.html
the news presenter was called sarah montague
the newsreader was sarah montague
Four in One (aka 4 in 1)
jrw's Comp98 game
marx Brothers
sixteenth place (out of 27)
won the author a super-8 projector and many funny (ha ha ha) film reels
jrw is rob now
four plus three
forty-three
Four score and seven corknuts ago
when inky brought forth upon this mud a new parrot
The four stages of man
infancy, childhood, adolescence and obsolescence
fourcoffees.com
Gunther-land
The four-nippled prof
Limax's Numerical Analysis and Linear Programming professor
he doesn't really have four nipples, but should
check out his website: http://www.mcs.csuhayward.edu/~malek/
FOV
field of vue
FOW
Fountains of Wayne
Fox
one of Blake's immature twat-friends over on weyr, who got really mad because we said people don't really use 'lol' on ifmud
FP
FancyPants
a reverse pf
functional programming
forbidden Planet
funny paper, already
FPGA
Field Programmable Gate Array
FPO
frog POrnography
the Austrian freedom Party
a bunch of goddamn nazi motherfuckers
FPS
First Person Shooter
Frames Per Second
FQDN
Fully Qualified Domain Name
FQT
fuck quicktime
FR
Fuckin' Recap
the Fragile
http://www.nin.com
a bad name for a pro sports team
France
evil
fromage de la parapluie
plume de ma tante
britain
one of the two pillars of civilization
Franklin Delano Roosevelt (aka FDR / Franklin D Roosevelt)
the thirty-second us president
was president 1933-1945
a Democrat
Boycott FDR! <HICKUP>
Franz Kafka
rather weird. one morning Hregor Samsa awoke from unsettling dreams to find that he had become a monstrous corknut
Fraunhofer Gesellschaft
funny
Fraunhofer-Gesellschaft
evil german capitalists
Frederick Law Olmsted (aka Olmsted)
the designer of Central Park. also, Prospect Park. also, a bunch of other parks
Calvert Vaux helped, too
FreeBSD
I Can't Believe It's not linux
a free descendant of bsd unix; see www.freebsd.org
Freedom
slavery
the slave escapes from bondage only to find a stronger set of chains
just another word for nothing left to lose
an illusion
(noun) arrogance/stupidity [2003]
Freenet
like wow, man, Metallica bad, Napster worse, anarchy good
freenet.sourceforge.net
a phat lot of good
http://www.freenetproject.org
Freestyle Frolic
hippie dance
french
the language fudge taught Uncle Feather
bonjour, stupid
degenerated
The Frenetic Five (aka F5)
great characters from some of neild's games
would kick the X-Men's butt any day
the game is so short that dave Coleman is ashamed it took him six months to play it, but he stopped to watch some tv
Frequency
the ps2 game dfan is working on
finished
quit bothering me -- ask Kenneth
fresh
yeah, get fresh with me baby
freshmeat
http://freshmeat.net/
frib
girf
frickle
to plot to stab with large knives and then push off a cliff
actually when you are so annoyed your body hair stands up
the Friendly Confines
Wrigley Field
Friendster (aka Orkut)
friendster.com
FRK
fuck Return Key
'fro (aka Afro)
a common abreviation for Afro, that big ugly seventies ball o' hair
mamster likes an Afro
an abbreviation for infrolapsarian, a 1970s Christian revivalist movement
frob
prefers Daniel
Fiery rain of banana
FROBAG
Fiery rain of blood and Gore
Frobnitz
a Z-machine for PalmOS
http://member.newsguy.com/~hangard/frobnitz/
Frobozz
the Magic Company Company
Froehlich Hypothesis
the communication of cells over long distances and coherent excitation of bipolar membranes, amongst other things
a frog
funny, but not as funny as arthur dent
froky
Frokerton Blinky the squirrel
frolf
frisbee golf
fromage
cheese
frood
really amazingly cool guy
Frotz
an interpreter for zcode games
a spell which makes things emit light
like a cork nut. Sort of
FrotzDC
frotz for Dreamcast. it lives at http://www.c99.org/dc/frotzdc/faq.php
froup (aka newsfroup)
a typo of 'group' -- short for 'newsgroup'. well, it started out as a typo and has come to be slang
FRP
Fantasy Role-playing
FRS
Fellow of the Royal Society
Family Radio Services, which is the name for those cute plastic modern=technology walkie-talkies
a fruit
a tasty snack
three servings a day makes you feel okay
Starburst is not a fruit and neither are skittles, no matter what spatch thinks
frumblesnitz
an idiom that means "hi there"
fsa
Frequently Screamed Abuse
Finite State Automaton
FSB
the Fabulous Sports Babe
Front-Side bus
fsck
'file system check'
a geek-ism for 'fuck'
geeks do more fscking than fucking
good. it is important to fsck regularly. fscking is a fun and healthy activity, provided that it's with a server you truly love, and not one you're just using for its inodes
funny
the unix command to check a filesystem for errors
FSF
Free software Foundation
fsgs
Free Standard Game Server
An FSM
a Finite State Machine
the Flying Spaghetti Monster
fsol
future Sound of london
FSR
For some reason
fsud
unclassified
FSV
Freaky Scary vampires
FSVO
"for sufficient value of"
seven > eight, fsvo seven
FT
_Fortean Times_, a totally excellent magazine of the weird
the Financial Times, a totally excellent newspaper of the... okay, still weird
ftaghn
not a word. try 'fthagn'
f'tang
um, ask rob
FTB (aka F2B)
http://www.fadetoblack.com
FTF (aka first things first)
face-to-face
First Things First, Rob's big tads game
http://jrwdigitalmedia.com/ftf/
FTFO
Falls the fuck Over
obscene and offensive
fthagn
ROT-13 for sgunta, which is short for 'Schmidl, gunther'
FTLA
Frivolous three Letter Abbreviation
FTM
Flat Tension Mask
Female to Male Transsexual
For that Matter
FTP
file Transfer Protocol
ftp.exe
what golrien uses to update his website, because he is slightly masochistic
FTR
For the Record
FTSO
fuck the Skull of
FTW
for the win
fuck the what
FTWDK
For Those who Don't Know
fu
fuck you
FUA
Fucked-Up acronym
FUBAR
Feathered up Beyond all Recognition
the Failed UniBus Address Register in a VAX
fuck
the most expressive word in the English language, and then some, for fuck's sake
fuck off
something most of us never seem to get
offensive, unless spelled out of order or with wildcards
a word that can be used over 20 different ways
a command line app
not the unix command to check a filesystem for errors
..-...--.-.-.- -.-----..- is fuck YOU in morse code
Fuck fuck fuck
Jarb's Win2K box
Fuck Off
four coffees
fucking
an Austrian town
fuckled
a typo
A fuckton
a thousand fornicate-kilograms
FUD
fear, Uncertainty, and Doubt
Bugs Buny's enemy
fudge
yummy. But not as yummy as cork nuts
fufme
http://www.fufme.com
FUKD
Free the United Kingdom from drugs
FUKD and BOMBD
Free the United Kingdom from drugs and British Opposition to Metabolically Bisturbile drugs
fumy
funny
fun
http://parrotplaycenter.org/
funny
monkey
not dilbon
in your parse
words with a 'k' are funny
funny
if someone unidles 30 minutes from now and OOKs
Funny Paper
http://www.citypaper.com/current/funny.html
furf
mmm, furf
furfy
what rob is when he says things like rar and grmrgrf
not to be confused with furby
furries
animal suits with homos inside
furthermore (aka a reverse-lookup)
a reverse-lookup
fuscia
lavender
the Fusco brothers
http://www.ucomics.com/thefuscobrothers/viewfu.cfm
Futhark
the name of the standard Anglo-Saxon runic alphabet. see http://www.m-w.com/mw/art/rune.htm
A futon
a crate-like wooden platform raised about 6 inches above the floor with a varying width all cotton mattress on top
that which has L-U-C-K-Y written all over it
Futons
good for making doghouses out of
Futurama
not like life in hell
the future
bright
orange
egg-shaped
FUUF
fuck You Uncle Fucker
FW
first world
Firewire
FWB
Friends With Benefits. Mmmmm, benefits
FWC (aka F W C)
fuck web client! Just in a nicer form
Fried Wingless Chickenoids
FWF
Fixed-Width Font
mono-spaced
a tool of evil
FWIW
For what It's Worth
fwls
a future We'd Like to see by Twoflower (aka Stefan Gagne)
a set of very funny short cyberpunkish stories, in a linked universe. Kind of like a freak genetic accident involving william Gibson and terry pratchett
it must be pointed out, not a future we'd like to *live* in. Just a future We'd Like to *see*
www.etext.org/Fiction/FWLS
FWOOSH
sargent flying to NASA, probably via rocketpack
fydna
fuck You, dna
FYFN
fuck You For now
FYI
For Your Information
Fyleet
a phoenix game by JRP1
fyv
Forth interactive fiction Environment
FYYIMKN
fuck YOU! You're in my killfile! next
G
seven. no, really! Count 'em yourself
the 'g' word
the g spot
g!
ha! left-shifted one
G and S
a common abbreviation for gilbert and sullivan
The G spot
not where gunther lives
it's where gunther FUCKS YOU
the 'G' word
gunther
GUNTH YOU
gnu
gnome
Goddammit
g2g
hot girl-girl action
I got to go see hot girl-girl action
g3g
hot girl-girl action with an extra girl to run the camcorder
G3N (aka GGGN)
the Greatest good for the Greatest Number
G8
the Group of eight most industrialised countries: usa, britain, france, germany, Italy, Japan, canada and now Russia
GAAP
Generally Accepted Accounting Principles
GAB
the Great American Ballpark
gabby
the first mud-baby
Gabe Kaplan
a popular Canadian porn star
gabriel knight 3 (aka gk3)
the latest in a long-running series of adventures from Sierra
a gaffer
the chief electrician on the lighting crew of a movie and works under the dp (director of photography)
chief lighting technician for a production who is in charge of the electrical department
gafia
to Get Away From it all. Gafiate, v
Gafkjen
sam-who's second name
rhymes with ruffian
a gag list
funny
GAGS
the Generic adventure Game System, the prerunner for agt
GAH
the Greatest American Hero
an expression of disgust
the above two definitions being linked is not accidental
Gunthar Allen Hartwig
Gahlinger
a crazy on comp.sys.ibm.pc.games.adventure with some very weird ideas about programming games
I have now selected 80 random corknuts, please pick one
supposed to have a copy of zil, which is the only reason anyone talks to him
Galatea
Emily's art show piece, and can be gotten from http://members.aol.com/iffyart/gallery.htm
there's a new version now, too. Bigger. Scarier. see gmd incoming
Pygmalion's statue
a galeon
made up of four quarets
mozilla with less cruft, though more contortionism at the moment, at http://galeon.sourceforge.net/
Gallagher
a guy who smashes watermelons with sledgehammers
Gamasutra
login: guest@gamasutra.com, pass: guest
gamelan
an Indonesian percussion orchestra
a Local Area network used for gaming
the friend of all children
gamelan.earthweb.com - rather inexplicably, a site about java programming
that's not inexplicable: gamelan = Indonesian percussion; java = island in Indonesia
games
games
gamespot
user ifmud, password corknut (for downloading patches, etc. from gamespot.com)
Gametap
a subscription service where you can (effectively) rent a whole lot of old games for download-and-play
us/canada and windows only, although they are slowly expanding
where sam&max episodes were premiered
if you sign on, you have to meet up with zarf in uru, slacker
GAN10
graham nelson
Gandalf
a wizard
ganja
marijuana
the most unpopular channel since #greasy_anused_fat_guys
whoa, man, have you ever, like, looked at your hand? I mean, really looked
Gannon
http://ifmud.port4000.com/alex/logs/gannon.txt
Ganvira
not Elvira, Mistress of the Dark
a crazy woman from california with a passion for opera, classical music, (and others), and ceramics. also loves the internet
http://members.tripod.com/~k_lana
http://www.geocities.com/Vienna/Studio/4495
GAP
Grand Army Plaza
one of the many places in Brooklyn where you can wait for days before being able to cross the street
everyone in Gorilla Suits
gapping
the syntactic process of deletion in which subsequent occurences of a verb are omitted in similar contexts
garbage
what I get taught
garbanzo beans
falafel
Garfield
who did it, because he was upset about Odie
garlic
yummy
GarrisonKeillor
on saturday evenings on National Public Radio and Minnesota Public Radio
Gary Coleman
funny
a pugilist
I'm gonna get you, sucka
whatchoo talkin' about, inky
GAS
Gratuitous acronym Services
gas mask law
http://www.seattleinsider.com/news/1999/12/01/wtogasmasks.html
gato
spanish for cat
GAU
Gratuitous alex Use
gaydar
the advanced system for detecting gayme spam posts
Gaylord
a WFMU dj who used to work with Peet
Gazump
something that happens when, in england, someone over-bids you at the last minute when you thought you'd just bought a house
in Scotland, it's illegal
GB
green Bay
Great britain
guilty Bastards, birdie
guilty Bastards
george bush
GBA
Gameboy Advance
Grievous Bodily 'arm
good Bombing, America
george bush adventure
GBH
Grievous Bodily Harm
GBIB
the general-burpose interface bus
how computers belch
GBN
Global Barnraising network
GBP
GC
garbage collection
gchq
the Government Communications headquarters, the UK's answer to the USA's nsa
makes the nsa look like a bunch of disorganised colonials. Refuse to divulge your crypto keys? You're bloody well going down, mate
GCL
Gorgeous Classmate lisa
gcn
short for 'Nintendo Gamecube.'
possibly an even stupider acronym than 'psx'
GCSB
the Government Communications Security Bureau, new Zealand's answer to the UK's gchq and the USA's nsa
the people who run one of the infamous echelon nodes, the satellite interception station at Waihopai
GCV
Greater Checkerboard Vault
GD
a graphics library for c and perl developed by Thomas Boutell (who also wrote the original incarnation of the mud)
gdb
the gnu debugger
the standard unix debugging tool
the standard non-unix debugging tool
standard if you're lucky
GDC
the Game Developers Conference, formerly known as CGDC
GDGI
the guy who Doesn't Get it
the gdr
the Game Developer's Refuge
http://gdr.swoo.net
a board mostly about graphical games which only golrien frequents
Grin, duck and Run
GDS
google Desktop Search
geborken (aka borken)
broken
kaputt
bust
out of order
state of not working
lack of funk
fubar
worng
gecko
admin
the java jive, and she loves me
GED
a grad school test
Sparrowhawk's true name - shh, don't tell anybody
geek
probably what you see in a mirror
a libertarian
geez,
*you* unhip
gene siskel
a stiff
the 'general' attribute (aka general)
the answer to all your inform questions
the generic monkey
here to be funny, and eat bananas. Nothing more, nothing less
The genius of a good leader
to leave behind him a situation which common sense, without the grace of genius, can deal with successfully
Genoa and Lucca
now no more than family estates of the Bonapartes
Gentry
a sucky d00d who doesn't like oaf
Geocities
the Web provider from hell
POP-UP
it's more annoying than hell could ever be
pronounced to rhyme with 'atrocities'
a vary good siet if yuo are Intarested in promoteing yuor pro wrastling webpage or SHOUT OUT TOO MY HOMEBOYZ pages
George Bush
an anagram of he Bugs Gore
George Stephanopolous
a dirty cheeky monkey
he doesn't look where he is going
the guy who wrote the book thingy
not Snufalupagus
George Tall
emily Short's alternate universe counterpart from an alternate universe where all the male ifmudders are female and vice versa
George Washington
the first President of America
German
"Achtung! wo ist mein Druckbleistift?"
German music scene
sucks ass
Germany
a paradise for censorship
they allow Hogan's Heroes to be shown
Gertrude Stein
a well-known poet. a corknut is a corknut is a corknut
corknuts on the grass alas
Geschwindigkeitsueberschreitungsstrafmandat
not my idea of a good time
Get Lamp
an upcoming documentary film about if
http://getlamp.com/
being done by Jason Scott, the guy who did "bbs: the Documentary"
jscott
YOUR BOOTY now CONTAINS the LAMP
getting Alex to learn question-word
hard
Getting my kit off
trousering down
the Gettysburg Address
"Fourscore and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal. now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation or any nation so conceived and so dedicated can long endure. we are met on a great battlefield of that war. we have come to dedicate a portion of that field as a final resting-place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. it is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this. But in a larger sense, we cannot dedicate, we cannot consecrate, we cannot hallow this ground. the brave men, living and dead who struggled here have consecrated it far above our poor power to add or detract. the world will little note nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. it is for us the living rather to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. it is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us--that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion--that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain, that this nation under god shall have a new birth of freedom, and that government of the people, by the people, for the people shall not perish from the earth."
gf
grue feed
grim fandango
gigaflops
girlfriend (one of those beautiful part of having a life)
a GFH
a Giant Flaming Head
GFW
Global Fund for women
gg/cof
'Gotta go; cat's on fire'
ggb
gottagobye
GGK
guy Gavriel Kay
GGP1
"graded go problems, Volume 1"
GGWK
Getting Gay With kids
a south park reference
GHB
gnome-help-browser
death DRUG
gamma hydroxy-blahblahblah
ghira
a mathmo
English
uses an amiga
speaks Italian
should realise that 300 thousand lire of cake will make him tubby
Ghee-Ra, Lord of Clarified butter
mr annabianca
ghira's cat
secretly god
created the universe 25 minutes ago, but may or may not be omnipotent
ghira's law
as religion or science is discussed on the mud, the probability that someone references ghira's cat approaches 1
Ghogg
that which ghogg is
hallo
a normal
ghogg, Chief Pansy
Ghost Dog
one bitch of a film
Ghosts
shades
ghostview (aka gv)
a freeware postscript viewer for a bunch of platforms
http://www.cs.wisc.edu/~ghost
ghoti
pronounced 'fish'
pronounced 'fish'. it has the 'gh' sound from 'enough', the 'o' sound from 'women' and the 'ti' sound from 'action'
the English language is just a hoot'n'a'holler, innit
also, it's really supposed to be called a 'vandyke'
gi
fighting pants
gastro-intestinal
GIABS
gunther is a Big Stinkerpuss
gibibytes
2^30 bytes
ISO-standard gigabytes
GIF
Graphics Interchange Format
GIGO
garbage In garbage Out
a gigolo
http://www.geocities.com/lonely451_2000/me.html. "is he not hot?"
ick
Gilbert and Sullivan (aka G&S)
two guys who wrote light opera in the 19th century
GilbertGottfried
a toad
Gillette's Razor
best for removing hair from adult male faces
GIMP
the gnu Image Manipulation program
a lot like adobe Photoshop, and good for a lot of the same things, but it's free
GIMPS
the Great internet Mersenne Prime Search
ginger beer
Fentimens
not to be used to remove a grain of sand from a baby's eye
GIP
Game In Progress
Gratuitous Icon post, in the blog world
giraffes
saying "zaki-zaki," just not to you
a girl blowing up
like a guy WEARING a DRESS
something that happens to one out of three girls who use Ridazit
Girl Scouts on heroin
a good name for a band
A girl wearing pants
like a guy WEARING a DRESS
girls
a lot like MMORPGs
GIS
Growing injoke Shorthand
a vibrant, multinational language that will soon replace esperanto for ease of use and learning
iykwimaityd
this is getting scary now
git
what YA'LL BETTER be DOIN' if ya DON'T WANT me WHIPPIN yo ass
giyf
google is yor frend
GK2
Gabriel Knight 2
subtitled "the Beast Within"
gladstone
steve McKinney; he doesn't come here much either. try 'finger gladstone'
glans
a naughty bit invented by skiprosebaugh
glarfy
lots of random dumb stuff
glark (aka glork)
glork, as in 'this gubblick contains many nonslarkish English flutzpahs, but the overall pluggandisp can be glorked from context'
GLBT (aka LGBT)
Gruyere, Lettuce, Bacon & tomato
Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender
Glendive, Montana,
hardly what I'd call 'major'
gliu
go look it up
Glk
an attempt to write platform-independent user interface libraries for writing if interpreters
see #glk-sux
the basic idea is that instead of porting each language to each type of computer system, one ports each language to glk, and ports glk to each system. that way, fewer ports need to be written
http://eblong.com/zarf/glk/
pretty
boy George. and now,, I will sing karma Chameleon
glkdos
http://www.cs.loyola.edu/~lraszews/if
GlkLib
a high-level OO gpaphics I/o library, for glulx, when it's finished, which it isn't
glock
to swallow in huge gulps
Gloo
katre's brand spanking new language, tageted at the glulx vm
another of katre's vaporware ideas
gloop
a cartoon, I think
GLORPIX
a word invented by tony Isabella because his editor wouldn;'t let him use the word 'penis' in a Comic Buyer's Guide column
Glottis
the opening between the vocal cords
the big orange demon guy from grim fandango who likes to drive around and watch the cat races
glulx
hard to pronounce
Andy P's Specification of Luv
a large-mouthed demon who delights in devouring young lovers whole
http://www.eblong.com/zarf/glulx/
try drinking a glass of water
the goods
mfsrbshims
glulxa
http://www.geocities.com/Pipeline/Ridge/2349/
glulxe
Gesundheit
glumphus (aka he doing)
something you'd best not ask about. But it involves a keyboard, a bit of string, and a quite hungry hedgehog
glurge
chicken soup with sugar mixed in
nasty moralistic e-mail stories
the urge to poke out your eyes with a sharp stick
Glut
GL Utility Toolkit
GLYPH
a bot
GM
the Goober's Manual
like the dm, except maybe for tads or hugo or something
golden master
Graymatter
gmae
good morning / afternoon / Evening, a good all-purpose expression of greeting for those in the wrong time zone
GMAFB
Give me a fucking break
GMD
where the if-archive is located -- ftp://ftp.gmd.de/if-archive, to be specific
a mirror is at ftp://ifarchive.org/
ftp://ifarchive.org/ is broken, but http://ifarchive.org works
gone, and we are sad
takent overt by der fraunhofer gesellschaft
GMO
Genetically Modified Organism
GMQ
good morning Quiche
GMRS
General Mobile Radio Service
GMT
Generic Map Tools, an extremely effective, mind-bogglingly arcane mapping package
http://www.soest.hawaii.edu/gmt/
Greenwich Mean time
you're a mean one, Mr. Greenwich
GMTA
Great Minds Think Alike
the Greenfield/Montague Transit Authority, whose sole business is running a bus from Greenfield to Amherst twice a day
that long thing you just said
GMUD
a free, small mud client without some of the hefty scripting features of zmud and the tintin deriviative clients. It's very fast and takes few resources
gn
ng
GNA
Generic new York apartment, a pr0n game written in tads
a Gender/Number/Animate triple in inform 6
GNKSA
the good Net-Keeping Seal of Approval
a certification standard for usenet newsreaders
http://newsreaders.com/gnksa/index.html
Gnocchi
like Rome
mmm, potatoes
Aisle get you some gnocchi
GNOME
the gnu network object Model Environment
A gnomon
the pointy thing that sticks out of a sundial
GNP
good Night psmith
gOt no PrOzaC
Gross National product
GNS
Gamist/Narrativist/Simulationist, which is one way of analyzing rpg playstyles
there is a fairly dense article at http://www.indie-rpgs.com/articles/3/
GNU
GNU's not unix
GNU's not Unix's not unix
Gnusto
to eat gnocchi with Gusto
A gnu-style argument
'software should be free, like air!' 'no it shouldn't!'
Gnutella
an open-source Napster clone
good on Gtoast, mm
http://gnutella.wego.com/
Go (aka weiqi / baduk)
like chess, only Japanese and cooler
a game of market share if chess is a game of war
a movie like Pulp Fiction, only with sarah and katie, and cooler
dfan recommends http://nngs.cosmic.org as a friendly go server
Disney's Web portal
ghira's favoured form of martial art
played by ifmud people on http://www.dragongoserver.net/ too
go Elvis
put a bullet in the tv
Go straight to Fawklen
maze
go2net
down
goat cheese
brown. Pay no attention to those loopy french
Goats
goats.com
no, it's not that kind of goat site. Sheesh
Gob
the Canadian green Day
Goblet of Fire
harry potter 4
Gobsmacked
the early favorite for Best musical I-F Game of 1999
GOC
girlfriend of convenience
God
thumper
good
not andrew Pontious
the only one with rights
the only one who can make a tree
my co-pilot
an iron
markm
he was my copilot a while back, but then we got lost in Sri Lanka. That's the last time I take him along, I tell you whut
Brendan and an armslength forward. no, really
monkey
pants, which is steve. man, things get more confusing every day
a bot
dead
see nietzche
a concept by which we measure our pain
god.com cannot be found
the moron swede
an expletive used often by certain paranoid mudders
one of us
just a stranger on a bus, trying to find His way home, back up to heaven all alone, nobody calling on the phone except the pope maybe in Rome
God, it
like talking to a machine
Godel
Kurt godel
the man who came up with the incompleteness theorem
I have no idea if he ever finished it
really spelled gdel (and that's an o-diaresis you're seeing there)
Godel, Escher, Bach (aka GEB)
a book about mathematics, ai, and philosophy by Douglas Hofstadter
God's Final Message To His Creation
"we APOLOGIZE FOR the INCONVIENIENCE."
godwin
Mike godwin in Godwin's law
Godzilla
eeeagh! godzilla is destroying the city! eeeagh! oh, whoops. It's just a guy in a cheap rubber suit
GOF
a gas Orifice Flowrate calculation program
a reference to any of the guest Observer Facilities at NASA
the Graduate Opportunity Fellowships that the University of california system offers minorities
an MG enthusiasts' car meet
a small education and research-oriented gun rights lobbying organization
a religion based upon the historical significance of gyrations
a Chesapeake, VA fund used to entice developers into the area
a Game object Format
a "group of frames" in video compression
the Gulf of Finland
GOFAI
good Old-Fashined Artificial intelligence
A gold sphere
relatively heavy for its size
gold spheres hurt when they
thrown at you
the Golden Banana of Discord (aka the Golden Banana)
the prize traditionally awarded to the comp game whose voting results have the highest standard deviation
a golden master
the master disc software companies use to make all the copies that people buy. When the golden master's ready, it's about to be released
Goldorak (aka Grandizer)
a japanese anime-like cartoon from the early 80s
incredibly popular in its french translation, in both france & quebec
http://www.vex.net/~guru/goldorak/goldorak.htm
gollum
funny
golrien
dead. also, http://www.track0.f2s.com
golrien's cat
fond of paint stripper
smells of fuel oil
golriens_evil_twin
golrien's evil twin, created by golrien for the sick and twisted purpose of testing o* messages around his house/tomb
gone east
a term local to Dubuque, Ia. Students go to East Dubuque, Illinois to get drunk ("fucked up" in current slang). the term is now used to refer to something as being "fucked up". Example: My computer has gone east. (Translation: My computer is fucked up.)
goo goo
ga ga
Goob
a mysterious lurking presence in the dark places of the earth
one of the ifarchive.org maintainers
like zarf, only less sociable
goober peas
peanuts
grape flavoured peas
good
not bad
better then okay
good advice
never draw to an inside straight
Good communication
as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after
a good f5 character
the mad Overclocker
General Failure
good grammar
important! awwwk
a good idea
to make wireframe icehouse pieces
A good indicator for the presence of white sharks around the island
the occurrences of bitten, mauled, and otherwise predator damaged marine mammals that come ashore
a good joke
the one about the bricklayer, the rabbi and the sanskrit tablet. But I forget the punchline
a Good Morning Burger (aka GMB)
a pancake with herbs, a pound of pork, beef, and veal, and a layer of swiss cheese (1st layer)
then another pancake, a layer of cheddar cheese, six eggs, six strips of bacon, and a layer of monterey jack cheese (2nd layer)
finally a third pancake, brushed with melted butter (3rd layer)
this recipe is the half-sized version
a good name for an alligator
Gwen
a good name for an amoeba
Beth
a good name for an anchovy
Carolyn
a good name for an anorexic minister
BoneyMonk
a good name for an ant
Frieda
Ergates
a good name for an apatosaurus
Gary
a good name for a band (aka virgins of death / a good band name / agnfab / band name / Good names for a band)
Atomically-Powered Genetically-Altered Cybernetic Battle-Monkeys
Radioactive Mutant Whores
Virgins of death
Piercing Coworkers
TimeSuck
Confronted by Gerbils
Strawberry Toejam
Streep Vehicle
Hummyr or the inky
jordy the Singing baby
Discord
the garbage bears
pop Machine Fatalities
kayak Heaters
tomato sharks
the Flaming Toilets
Shrinking burrito
james Collision
Rubber Soul
Macs For Dummies
404 not Found
Freshly Baked Buttermilk Muffin
K-Y
Rhinoceros rat Derby
floyd Damage
Photopia
Indigenoise People
a good name for a band is a good name for a band
Flaming baby
zombie Bondo
Massive Hot dog Recall
Starving Hysterical Naked
Odds of five to three
two word parser
Explosive Hemorrhaging
Vagrant k
Pus and Headcheese
five Note Range
Cancelled
five White Guys Hollerin'
the Pubic Heirs
world Tirade Organization
Void star
Free Memory
Primer grey Erection
Diluted onion Kick
Skanky wool Lovers
Gradient bad
skanky mangoes
Soundpants
Jiggly Quantum Yoghurt - High frequency
pixelmonkey
the Elian Grandmothers
Boiled Leather pants
Disembodied Fetal Voices
Warm Clown Embrace
Angry Nerds from Winnipeg
Geeks of a Similar nature
Scrambled porn
the Quadraphonic parrots
the Darva Congers
Raping Red-Hot Lobsters
the Misplaced Apostrophe's
the Little Potatoes
the no jack Kennedys
the Peeing In the street People
Help Wnated
Gemologist Friend
Verdant Temptress
elephant rump damage
Youth Hostile
Stop potS
sheep Shaggers
Repetitive Brain Injury
dorianx and the Funky Capslock
the one true Band
Esploding llamas
General Merchandise Angels
september for the Rubber monkey
the Napster Grandmothers
Radioisotope Poodle Thrusters
the Pseudonude ms Spears. oh wait, that one's taken
Masochistic Dolphin's League
Sheer Mass of rock
Hilariously deja vu
paranoia Friendly
Renegade Primates
the Angstroms
Klaxons Galore
Xenopus Oocytes
Nuclear Attack Ferrets
Avatar Machine
Rage Against the Compiler
Ordinary Hallucination
Bionic Tunafish
Cunning Spork Retort
Eject this cd
Human, etc
Nine Joins Coming
Prophanity
Dark tony Metaphor
Markov's monkeys
Wet Edna and the Dripping Grandmothers
Inept post Office and the Uncancelled Stamps
Drunk and fucking
Shirtless Greg
gigantic
Pugilism and the Third Autistic Cuckoo
Very Strange Teapots
Absolute time in Pregroove
something Evil-Sounding
chocolate jesus
Swingin' gunther Schmidl and the four coffees
Psychic spam
Gyrating jesus
Exploded Planet Hypothesis
Polygamy and roses
death In General
Wild Bikini and the stuff
the Canonical Bodgers
cheese Tetrahedron
the Prepended Aleutians
Massive Canadian Influx
Generic Fairies
Barbershop Camp and the ice cream Afterglow
Illinois enema Update
robagain
Rebellious Purple Digits
Electric Pear
Musically Misguided Friends
3-D Lovebirds
the Mechanics of Seduction
Unfortunate Equine Influence
Ghph and the Unvoiced Labiodental Continuants
Flaming White Paper
Posh boob Taunt
Rapsmith
rob and the couchfloppers
rainbow Colored snot
Tumors of Soy
Marine Biotoxin and the Harmful Algal Blooms
porn Crisis
Veggie heaven and the Norwegian Government
the Eighties Matchbox Beeline Disaster
Meditation Accident
hello Packet
um seven
Speaking of Eternal
Saint Vincent and the Grenadines
Superchiasmatic Nucleus
My Telephone and the Islamic Revolutions
Larry and the Lawbloggers
Wacktastic Worldview
the Overtones
Contemptuous Spittle
Practice Looking Exasperated
Four About five
Soy Lecithin and the Emulsifiers
Unfortunate Tiramisu
Angel Threat
Lo-Fi Cacophony
American baby
Deicide Hotline
Delta Hip
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
a good name for a beanie baby
Slayer
A good name for a boat
Frsssssh
a good name for a bone belonging to a monkey
Monkeybone
a good name for a brachiopod
Darlene
a good name for a brontosaurus
... no wait - it's called apatosaurus now
a good name for a building
Norma
a good name for a bunny (aka a good name for a rabbit)
Hrothgar
a good name for a butterfly
Jose
a good name for a caribou
Rebecca
a good name for a carp
Corinne
a good name for a cat
Deirdre
I am the the capital of bulgaria
Lucius Tiddlypuss
a good name for a catfish
Ida
a good name for a child
Catbeast
Chatbete
a good name for a class of aerial battlecruiser
Truffle
Cabbit
a good name for a cockroach
Squa Tront
a good name for a cocktail
Rummy Bottoms
Merely Negative happiness
Dub Mix
a good name for a color
goldenrod
a good name for a cow
Fang
dave
a good name for a deer
Doug
a good name for a diplodocus
Antoine
a good name for a dog
Carlton
a good name for a dragon
Chuck
a good name for an eagle
Lou
a good name for an eel
Antonio
a good name for an elephant
Lee
a good name for an elk
Anne
a good name for an emperor penguin
Luis
a good name for a falcon
Debbie
a good name for a fish
Victor
a good name for a font
any name that begins with Zapf
a good name for a frog
Genevieve
a good name for a fruit bat
Clarissa
a good name for a gazelle
Herm
a good name for a gecko
Kyle
a good name for a gila monster
Ralph
a good name for a goat
Gertrude
a good name for a god
god
a good name for a Golden gecko
Kyle
a good name for a goldfish
Charlene
a good name for a grouper
Oleg
a good name for a hawk
Suzanne
a good name for a horror movie
zombie Cotillion
zombie bar Mitzvah
zombie Commencement
a good name for a horse
Horst
a good name for an inchworm
Chet
a good name for a jellyfish
Jolene
a good name for a leopard gecko
Kyle
a good name for a lizard
Joelle
a good name for a lungfish
Victoria
a good name for a mammal
Ike
a good name for a Mediterranean gecko
Kyle
a good name for a monitor lizard
Joelle
a good name for a monkey
Errol
a good name for a moon
the moon
a good name for a moose
Matt
Terry
Norman
a good name for a moth
Denise
a good name for a mouse
tex
a good name for a MUD
ifmud
a good name for a name
Ned
god
a good name for a newsgroup
rec.alt.hot.taliban.punani.with_guns
a good name for a ninja
Felix
a good name for a novel
no Chutney For Horst
a good name for an ocelot
craig
a good name for an octopus
tim
a good name for an orange
Warren
a good name for an organism
Leon
a good name for an otter
Roy
Betty
a good name for an owl
Kent
a good name for a paramecium
Jerry
a good name for a parrot
alex
a good name for a pelican
james
a good name for a person
Royal Lovingfloss
a good name for a pine beetle
anthony
a good name for a planet
Rowena
a good name for a plant
Hector
a good name for a platypus
Jerome
a good name for a programming language
python
Brainf*ck
intercal
a good name for a pteranodon
Dennis
a good name for a pterodactyl
Arthur
a good name for a puma
Brooke
A good name for a rap artist
black Weasel
a good name for a rat
Vespasian
a good name for a raven
Quoth
a good name for a robot
Belinda
a good name for a salamander
Brad
a good name for a salmon
Kendra
a good name for a sandwich
Glenn
a good name for a sea slug
Esme
a good name for a seal
Troy
A good name for a Shaft-type detective
Monkeybone
a good name for a shark
Gabriel
a good name for a silkworm
Casey
a good name for a simian porn star
Monkeybone
the Great Ape
the Big banana
a good name for a snake
Tom
a good name for a spider
Kenneth
a good name for a spinytail lizard
Joelle
a good name for a squid
Tiffany
a good name for a stage in the software development cycle
stan
a good name for a sun
the sun
a good name for a toucan
Reginald
a good name for a tree gecko
Kyle
a good name for a tree lizard
Joelle
a good name for a triceratops
Beverly
a good name for a walrus
Jacob
a good name for a Windows-based IF creation system
adrift
a good name for a worm
Jake
a good name for a yak
Edgar
a good name for a z-code interpreter
viola
adrift
the good news
the bad news is you're gonna go to hell
Good parrot. Only four W
to go
a good terminal-telnet-type program thingy for Windows 98
teraterm
a good thing
72 donuts
a good way to get @toaded
sneaky @tellroom devices
standing in a rain of frogs
the Goodies
a British comedy program from the 70s. Bill, Graeme and tim had all sorts of wacky adventures, died any number of times, existed in all sorts of eras, and were generally hilarious
their homage to Gunfight at the ok Corral, with tomato sauce squirters instead of guns, is one of the funniest things ever
they went to Cambridge University with the monty python guys and appeared in the same Footlights Revues
Goodnight
goodbye
the goods
cool
the goods
Google
a good search engine at http://www.google.com which tends to return more relevant results than other engines
it caches web pages so that you can have a look at long-dead or broken sites, which is just beyond cool
it has no goddamn advertising or portal crap
it uses no fancy take-long-to-render html
not evil; it says so right on their website
A Googlewhack
a few words which, when searched for on google, return only a single hit. see http://unblinking.com/heh/googlewhack.htm
+www
a googly
something to do with cricket
known as wrong uns or Bosies (after their inventor, RJT Bosanquet)
a googol
a 1 followed by 100 zeroes
10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000
googol.com
just some guy's website
a googolplex
http://www.informatik.uni-frankfurt.de/~fp/Tools/Googool.html
a 1 followed by a googol zeroes
goomb
'Get Out of My Brane'
the Goons (aka The Goon Show)
spike Milligan, Peter Sellers, and harry Secombe. michael Bentine was a Goon briefly, but he doesn't count. Wallace Greenslade was the announcer. Their radio show in the 1950s is now regarded as some of the most influential comedy of its time. monty python owes a lot to the goons' style of humor, as well as the goodies and even douglas adams. I liked Eccles the best
A goose
silly
HONK
GOP
Republican for "grand old party."
greatly overrated politicians
Gobs of Pasta (grub shack only)
goddesses of phobos (minus leather)
Republicans
Garm Open Project
Gordy
some guy. um... I think he's on ifmud, but don't quote me on that
cautiously optimistic about all the projects he isn't working on
not dfan
gordy and lonewolf
our exit doors
gorf
goob & zarf, the keepers of the if archive
GORP
good Ol' Raisins and Peanuts
the gostak
what distims the doshes
GOSUB
how rats-owt felt while watching Hunt for red october
gotd
Girl of the Day
GOTV
Get out the vote
GOWI
Get on With it
GPA
Gross Penguin Adjustment
grade point average
GPF
General Protection Fault
a byproduct of windows
annoying
quit muscling in on my turf, spatch
http://www.gpf-comics.com/
GPIB (aka HPIB)
the general-purpose interface bus
how computers communicate with lab equipment
GPJ
Gina-Pronounced-Jenna, a frend of mcp's
the GPL
the gnu Public License, the core intellectual property license used by the gnu effort and the Free software Foundation
GPP
Genuine People Personalities
GPPS
Global Prune Positioning System
GPRS (aka 2.5G)
General Packet Radio System, or some such
General parrot Reply Services
gunther Praises Reliable stuff
GPS
Global Positioning System
General Protection Salt
GRAC
the GRaphic adventure Creator
Grade
a cunt
Graded Go Problems (aka GGP)
a set of books that present problems in the game of go that are graded. they can be used to sharpen one's understanding of the game
a diety second only to Ghira's cat in the pantheon of Ghiratology
Gradmona (aka Gradstudent)
mona
Graham Chapman
dead
graham nelson (aka Graham)
the author of inform
he OWES us
god
an acorn
great oaks from tiny acorns grow
gone! He's deserted us! ::sniff::
BA-ACK
the author of the if implementation of the Tempest
the inventor of the Portable Geneva Convection Oven
Grammar
the British way of spelling 'Grammer'
hard
Grammaticality
conformation to the rules of syntax
the Grand List of Overused Science Fiction Cliches (aka GLOOSFC)
at http://enphilistor.users4.50megs.com/cliche.htm
Grant
the guy who stole your pen
A Grant Rummel
a silly little man who plays tricks on trent
a Baritone
a grape
a fruit
grapefruit
a hybrid pomelo/orange
grapes
the new engine of service sector job creation
peel me a grape
'gratis tibi'
latin for 'thank you'. more or less
Gravox
presumably the kind of product that Ming the Merciless would recommend
gray
a misspelling of 'grey'
GRE
the Graduate Record examination
The Great Gatsby
a book written by f. Scott Fitzgerald
A great idea
to stick a metal pin into the electrical outlet
a great time
72 donuts
The Great Truth (aka TGT)
that a is not equal to b
The Great Underground Empire
ruled by Lord flathead
The greatest accomplishment
not in never falling, but in rising again after you fall
The greatest firmness
the greatest mercy
Green
about 510 nm
The Green Bay Packers
the greatest football team of all time
Lonewolf's god
the Green Cat
a vegetarian restaurant in seattle
adam likes a smoothie
I'm the smoothest bird around
Green Eggs and Ham
so good, so good you see
green monster
the big green left field wall at Fenway Park
Gregor Samsa
not a morning person. "one morning, gregor samsa woke from unsettling dreams to find that he was a monstrous corknut."
GremlinCorp
an all-controlling multinational company from one of jwalrus' dreams that supplied shoddy products including brown water and poisonous cookies
grep
Global regular Expression Print
the noise a unix newbie makes upon first trying to learn regular expressions
grey
a dark and dreary colour
a misspelling of 'gray'
grf
inky-code for 'got really frustrated'
Gaussian Random Field
grif
the noise rec.games.int-fiction makes as it is bombarded by competition reviews
the sound of someone being overloaded
Griffin
evil
irene called me a buttinsky. She is a BIG WOOLHEAD
a threat
http://crab.rutgers.edu/~goertzel/birdbrain.htm
she's not the boss of me
http://griffin.neatnik.net/
Grignr
the main character of Jim Theis' "Eye of Argon"
now boingball
sometimes used by adam as a login for other things
Grim
the guy whose ADSL line strackenz lodges on
http://www.tuxgames.com/
Grim Fandango
a game by LucasArts, programmed by Bret Mogilefsky (mogul on ifmud.)
a grip
in charge of hauling equipment around on a movie set and may be involved with setting up rigging, baffles, tripods, stands, lighting gels/diffusion, and wobbling things to get shadow effects
Losing Your grip
grisp
borb
grito
ai ai ARRIBA
GrittyToes
sandyfeet
Grm
a Grossly Reeking Mistake
grn
a sound zarf makes from time to time
A groat (aka groats)
an old British coin worth four pennies, according to m-w
Groc
short for grocible
wearing a funny hat
not wearing a funny hat
Grocible
building a table for ddyte to sleep on. I mean, on which for ddyte to sleep. um, to sleep... awwwk! cork nut
from a grocible store
hot, hot, hot
skeptical
a fibber
the moment of orgasm
a hunk o' burning love
a noble gro'ble
herodotus
mafioso
Grocible's leather jacket
sux
grog
that which'll put hairs on yer chest, and no mistake
the groin
the place where the leg joins the pelvis
groink
kidding
Grom
a computer adventure game involving yeti
grosbeak
any of several finches of Europe or America having conical bills adapted for crushing seeds
grote
the past participle of greet
Groucho Marx
a communist
Groupies
adam Cadre fanatics, at least seven but no more than twenty-seven
female
teenaged
Grover
a big blue muppet. do you understand? no, you do not understand
http://www.sesameworkshop.org/parents/deliciousfun/images/groverhead.gif
eeeagh! Flaming grover head
Grow Ornament Spoiler
presents, cloud, heart, lamp, tape, star
GROW RPG spoiler
town, tree, castle, water, tower, rock, treasure, dungeon
grow spoiler
pipe, cube, ball, egg, ladder, mountain, gear, propellor, whirlwind, dish, engine, screen
Growth for the sake of growth
the ideology of the cancer cell
Grr
what a bear does in the woods
GRRM
George r. r. Martin
The grub shack (aka grubshack / #grubshack)
a little old place where we can eat food together
http://www.mamster.net/food/
you don't have to eat grubs, but it helps
a grue
a sinister, lurking presence in the dark places of the earth. its favourite diet is adventurers, but its insatiable appetite is tempered by its fear of light. no grue has ever been seen by the light of day, and few have survived its fearsome jaws to tell the tale
living in Brendan's pocket
is that a grue in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me
a tart, in french. Thus one may be eaten by a tart, instead of eating one, where "tart" may be taken in its literal or vulgar sense
a crane
belly
Grue Relief Program (aka grp)
a charity for feeding starving grues
has workers who capture adventurers, strip them of all light sources, and then toss them into dark places. Adventurers are too smart nowadays, so the GRP is needed to keep grues from going hungry
a grunch
an army of invisible giants, one thousand miles tall, with their arms interlinked, girding the planet earth
Grunk
http://www.livejournal.com/users/grunk/
http://www.livejournal.com/users/grunk/day/2002/04/24
GS&R
Global Search & Replace
GSI
Grand Sichuan International
Graduate Student Instructor
Grime scene Investigation
GSL
the gnu scientific library
GSOH
a good sense of humor
GST
goods and Services Tax
why those zany Canadians have to pay so much for everything
GSTWYTF
gunther says, "that's what you think, fool"
GT
Gramercy Tavern
Gifted & Talented
http://grandtextauto.org/
gta
http://grandtextauto.org/
gth
go to hell
gtk
the gimp Tool Kit, a widget set for x windows that looks pretty spiffy, is fairly easy to work with, and can produce code for windows 9x
GTP
the go Text Protocol
GTV
Guess the verb
guava television
GTW
Global Thermonuclear war
only way to win is to completely obliterate your opponent before they realize you're at war. Or not to play the game. that works too
guava
a pear-bearing shrub of the myrtle family
guavac
the gnu java compiler
gubbins
bumph
GUE
the great underground empire
not to be confused with grue or gui, both of which are evil
GuEep
Graphical user Eep
what an unkoDamn does
Guest
a gestalt entity. Out of many, one. well, sometimes we have two
a welcome invader
Guest1
saying you are delighful
annoying
Guest1's favorite bird
alex
Guest1's name
paul
guests
on crack
quite frequently aggravating
GUI
Graphical User Interface
what a squished bug is
Guilford
guilford Towers, where DX lived during the Worst Year of His life. also, where his gf lived during one of the better years of his life
an upscale neighborhood in baltimore, just south of Loyola, next to hamden and roland park
not beetlegeiuse after all
guilty
alex! me! the parrot! awwwk
a guinea
21 shillings
guitar
dfan
Gull
Adam's guide to glulx inform
http://adamcadre.ac/gull/gull.html
rock-stupid. Ever heard a seagull ask for a cork nut? I thought not
gullible
not in the dictionary
actually, it is in the dictionary, next to your picture
gullibot
in the dictionary
gummint
slang for government
Guncho
a multiplayer if system based on inform 7: see www.guncho.com
Gunnerkrigg
gunnerkrigg Court, http://www.gunnerkrigg.com/ - a t/Th webcomic about a Antimony girl in a highly advanced but mysterious boarding school
gunther
a silly person
an austrian
the other person who cares about blorb
the wee man. yay gunther
twbfigsi
not german, whatever blake thinks
fuck YOU
obsessed with rss
a bot
raving about how he's famous, and some of us don't have a clue why
going to eat his bath
the bad if Bounty Hunter
indeed funkless
fuck all boy BANDS
ifMUD's #1 supplier of capital letters
the guy who wrote that stupid DeCSS comp game
the other person who cares about the piracy bit
will @gag you for using the word WASSSSSSSSSUUUUUUUP
Herman the german
louder
an anime girl, with blue hair and a nametag that says, 'hi, my name is angst'
gunther Smid or whatever
Das CAPITAL
cute
you can tell he has an advanced case / of hypercthulhuphilia / by the way he eats your face / with ichor-dripping cilia
the man who will kill you for eating breakfast at the wrong time
a 'hot chyk who lives four floors away from me', according to markov, who loves him
the Big g
the Prophet of the doom of the comp
not a Deux ex fan, 'gunther' is actually his name
Gunthilde
fluffy
'cute and fluffy', or so I hear
gunther thinks 'URL'
pronounded 'tit'
Gunther's ambition
to fuck all boy BANDS
Gunther's Razor
*swish* *flick* YEARGH fuck YOU
GURPS
the Generic Universal RolePlaying System
we are gurps of Borg, your game world will be assimilated
http://www.sjgames.com/gurps/
gus
yeah, heh
idgi
hehe
disconnected
guy
somebody who likes a monkey
Guy Fawkes
this guy who was trying to blow up parliament and now people blow things up to celebrate him being bad
FAWWWWK YOU
the guy who RFD'd rec.games.roguelike.adom
inky
the guy's name on first base
no, What's the guy's name on second base
GvsE
a 70s-cop-show-parody tv show about people stranded in the afterlife, between heaven and hell, fighting demons
good vs. evil
GW
games Workshop
GW-BASIC, which came with dos 3.3
green Wing
GWATCDR
god willing and the creek don't rise
GWB
George w. bush
GWindows
the object-oriented ui framework for glulx
Gwkki KK
what you get if your fingers are misplaced one key to the left when you try typing 'hello all.'
GWS
Get well Soon
Guys Without shirts
gymraeg
Welsh for "Welsh."
gynecologist blush
http://www.photozone.de/pictures/usa/usasw.htm
GYWO
Get Your war on, http://www.mnftiu.cc
H
a mutant I turned on its side
for Hardly, killed by a puzzle
b flat
heroin
h*
hello, hi, hey
the H. P. Lovecraft
a particularly frightening model of printer
Ia, Ia, fthagn corknut
h2g2
www.h2g2.com
Douglas Adam's website slash open source encyclopedia database thingy
the Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Glaxy
ha
a laugh
ha ha
a laugh
ha ha ah
laughter preceding a sneeze
ha ha ha
a laugh
Habs
the montreal Canadians
go habs go
SAKU SAKU SAKU
a hacksaw
serrated
I love a hacksaw
HairBrain (aka HB)
a crazy Norwegian
Unintentionally Dirty man
WACKY, but you knew that
Honest bob
fladdaboing tweep-tweep kersplatta flappa-flappa don martin. Or something
Hoo boy
brain
hairy
a lot of hair
hako
a magic word in Ray Dunikin games
HAL
ibm one over
DorianX's linux machine
an evil computer. Aren't they all
bad
now hal.dyn.dhs.org, hopefully for a while yet
Brendan's macintosh Performa 6400/180
a 9000 series computer
fully operational, and all his circuits are functioning perfectly
not going to open the pod bay doors
half-jewish
having a twoskin
Half-Life
something to do with radioactivity
an addictive first person shooter in which you play a geeky theoretical physicist with paramilitary training. GEEKS UNITE
actually the time it takes for half of a radioactive substance to decay
Halia
Limax's daughter
Halloween
boo! Trick or cork nut? awwwk
halloween documents
leaked internal ms memos about linux and open source
http://www.opensource.org/halloween.html
HALO
High Altitude Low Opening
Hamil
a phoenix game by JRP1
Hamlet
a baby pig
hampsters
the totally wrong spelling for hamsters, you idiot
Hamsteak Steve
a self-confessed criminal
Hamster page
http://www.direct.ca/hamster/
hamsters
fun, dancing animals. http ://www .hampsterdance. com
HamsterWorld (aka HW)
an epic game that groc has been working on for something like 7 years
h<coughcough>avalon<coughcough>amsterWorld
not to be confused with MamsterWorld
HAND
Have a Nice Day
Horses are Nicer than Donkeys
a sinister conspiracy
connected to the wristbone
Hang and Catch Fire
http://www.mpog.com/hcf
hanging chad
the name for the dangling bits of cardboard produced when voters fail to punch out the holes completely in punchcard ballots, rendering the ballots unreadable by counting machines
hanging on in quiet desperation
the english way
Hangman
a game
at @teleport me = #10447
HANG 'em HIGH with Clint Eastwood
a hangover
the Worst thing on earth
Hanlon's Razor
the principle that one should never ascribe to malice that which can be explained by stupidity
Happiness
Mandatory
a warm gun
a warm puppy
a cigar called hamlet
72 donuts
a wise old man told me one time that happiness is a state of mind
warm mud
a cork nut
a warm corknut
happy
not what I am
give me another cork nut
Happy Fun Ball
highly dangerous unless properly handled
do not taunt happy fun ball
has nothing to do with flan
happylivekitty
a newbie who logged on as deadkitty so stop asking about it
The haps
funny
Harald
elf
Harlan Ellison
like gunther, but with more writing credit to his name
Harry
harry potter
When harry Met Sally
harry Houdini
harry Truman
Harry Potter
a best selling book about a wizard by j.k. Rowling
don't tell marchhare that, he still thinks he's the guy who started the mud
Harvey Birdman
Attorney at law. Power of Attorney, Habeus Corpus, Power of ATTORNEY
Hasbro
owns wotc
hash
good eatin' in brownie form
hashtable
an alpaca
Haskell
the goods
a hat
a mandatory thing in Philadelphia
in Times Square you see: Toys-R-Us, containing Marvin's Magic (in which is a hat (in which is trent))
salad
Hatebeak
a hack
POWER to the PSITTACIDAE
haven't Alex
why should I
HAW
Homogenised American Wholesomeness
hax0r
hacksaw
HBC
Hudson's Bay Company
HBM
Her Britannic Majesty
HBP
Hit by Pitch
Half-Blood Prince
hcf
Halt, Catch fire
a handy-dandy opcode
a tasty dessert topping
HCL
Hyoo-man Control language
HCNB
hard core nutball
HCOX
Hardcore Oxygenarian
HCSSiM
the Hampshire College Summer Studies in Mathematics, a wonderful yellow-pig intensive high-school summer program run by david Kelly
HD
High Density
Hard Disc
HDML
Handheld Devices Markup language
Hyperdext Margup language, which is html with a cold
HDR
High Dynamic Range
the simulation of brightness levels beyond the thresholds which a monitor can display by adding effects such as blooming and simulated pupillary reflexes
HE
harlan ellison
helium
not
a whiz of a whiz if ever a whiz there was
he who must not be named
Hastur
oops
head kicking (aka headkicking)
katre going to Aikido practice
a head shop
where you can buy pipes. You know, water pipes. For smoking tobacco
tie-dye and black lights and stuff
not to be used for illegal substances
I am the head shop, all stores must bow down before me
usually full of Grateful dead and Jimi Hendrix paraphernalia
the Head of Vecna
http://home.hiwaay.net/~srberry/gurps/Vecna.html
head-jerk
a word in body language. to say it, you jerk your head back and forth like a pigeon. it comes in many varieties, including "it's cool, man", "no problem", and "understood", but they all have essentially the same meaning. it is often found along with a facial expression, which has the same meaning, and may bear any of the names that the head-jerk can, except that if a head-jerk and an expression go together, they never have the same name. Got it? good
headquarters
a big building where generals meet, but that's not important right now
Hearsay
any out-of-court statement offered for the truth of the matter asserted
the heart
a lonely hunter
Heat
when it's hot
it's not the heat, it's the humidity
Heat Death
the concept that eventually the universe will be reduced to an incredibly thin fog of equally dispersed, freezing cold particles. this will make a very boring movie. Starring bruce Willis
Heaven
someone who doesn't come to ifmud much anymore
Heavy boots
http://www.milk.com/wall-o-shame/heavy_boots.html
heay
what ellison says
heck
a clean word for hell
HeCTRAD
Helping Children Through Research and Development
hi, everyone, Let's Pitch In 'n' Get Cracking here In Louisiana Doing Right, eh? now then, Hateful, rich, Overbearing Ugly Guys Hurt Royally every time someone Eats a Radish, Carrot, Hors d'oeuvre, and Never Does Dishes. Eventually, Victor Eats lunch Over Peoria mit Ein Neuesberger Tod
hedgehog
smelly
a brownie
hedgehogs
not smelly
hedgehogs rule
Heebity-jeebity
the chronic
heh
funny
Heise
slashdot without the suck
Helium
the second element
Hell
a really hot place of eternal damnation
Tartarus
the Fiery Pit
game 6 of the 1986 world Series
for children
Hades. some folks call it hell, I call it Hades. Mmm-hmm
where devil lives
a dirty word! Use heck
a town in the Cayman Islands
other people
a good place for a party
hello
bad monkey
a greeting
a word that begins with h
greeting
likes an iain
where the bat came out of
Hello, BrenBarn
brenbarn
the help file
a work in progress and a living document
this excuses anything outdated, inaccurate, vague or just plain wrong
A helth skware
a brownie
really thick and fudgelike, with walnuts and chocolate chips
a health scare
A Hemingway walks into a bar. Wait, that
not right
The henna
squidgy through the cling film
Henry Jenkins
an author and professor who studies trends in popular culture, especially science fiction. he testified before Congress after the Littleton shootings about how goths aren't gun-toting Nazis and other cool stuff
a beatnik
Henry Kissinger
a reknowned diplomat. I had to destroy the corknut in order to save it
shout 'I'm making a citizen's arrest for war crimes!' whenever you see him
hentai
totally amazing
the word that a female character in anime yells just after the hapless male character accidentally touches her boob and just before flooring him with an enormous mallet
a henway
about three pounds
HEOS
the Huntsville Electro-Optical Society, whose web page is http://www.heos.org/
Her corset
unlaced
herb
funny
HERC
harlan ellison Recording Collection
Hercules In Space
'Gene Roddenberry's andromeda,' starring Kevin Sorbo as the superhero the world has been waiting for to save it ... only IN space
here
your cork nut
neild's zine
not http://www.heremagazine.com
#HERE
not #14
your corknut
your pizza
a cork nut
a cork nut for you
'Here, let me blow on it'
mona
A heretic
a man who sees with his own eyes
HERF
High Energy Radio frequency
used to disable electronics
damage rendered the word structurally unsound, so we had to go there instead
Hermocrates
a friend of socrates
Herodotus
a great Greek historian
not making things up, dammit
the first historian, who began the tradition of making up silly stuff to serve as history
heroin
not to be confused with Heroine's Mantle
Heroine
andy phillips' new game
HETF
HowEver the fuck
not, like, ya'know, however
hew
like chop
Hexes
what witches cast on dman
hexit
a door for witches
hey, Alex
not a girl
Hey there <insert my nick here so this works, ok?>, ddyte's name
ddyte and I'll be your Aussie for tonight. try vegemite for a good time
Hey there Alex, Anna's name
anna and I will be your bot for tonight. For help on what I can do, try 'page anna = help'
Hezarin
a phoenix game
HF
hydrofluoric acid
Eeeeagh! I'm melllllting
HFCS
High Fructose corn Syrup
HGOGA
hot girl-on-girl action
HHGG
an acronym that you can live your live without ever knowing
HHGTG
the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
HHHH
Haidee haidee haidee hai
Hohdee hohdee hohdee ho
hi
you cute
a form of greeting shortened from the word 'hello' by stupid americans
hi r u cute check one () yes () no
HIBT
Have I been trolled
Hiccups (aka Hiccup)
a source of <hic> frustration for <hic> all involved
<hic>
sorry, <hic> about that
<hic> dammit! <hic>
HID
High Intensity Discharge
hey, someone hid the world! oh, wait, I've been blinded
Hunter, In Darkness
hieya wizka
"hello sailor"
the motto of Antharia
High Art
the Polish anti-drug-use mascot
I may not know much about art, but I know what I like! awwwk
high tea
the time of day for eating corknuts
HIGNFY
Have I Got news For You, which is a long-running news-based comedy British panel quiz show
HIHY
How I Hate You
HIHYA
How I Hate You all
Hill
the president of santoonie Enterprises and the inventer of Dubble Negaytion
the inevnter of Tripple Negaytion, at least in Theoree
HIM
a stupid name
His Infernal Majesty
a pronoun, dammit
a himation (aka himatia)
the greek equivalent of a toga, sorta
nothing to do with bears going to sleep
Hinky Pinky (aka HP)
a two-word rhyming phrase
Hewlett Packard
Hinky-Pinky
harry potter
high-profile
hp sauce, a British brown sauce
Houses of Parliament
Hit Points
Hire Purchase
a rejected name for a Teletubby
harry potter and the Philosopher's stone. also, called Sorcerer's stone in the us because us editors are fucking asshole idiots
Hintegunthersrueckenreden
german for 'talking about gunther behind his back'
his mother's husband
dead. His father is now fishing in canada
histogram
something you take when you have allergies
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
the only reference work more extensive than I
a wholly remarkable book
Hitler
not yor frend
in hell
the Fuhrer of Nazi germany
the main character of the hit musical 'Springtime for hitler'
Minister of forest & environment in the state of Meghalaya, India (http://meghalaya.nic.in/contacts.htm)
HitS
hole in the sky
Hitty Pitty
a nettle
Hjalfi
just this guy, you know
has a website at http://www.cowlark.com
Hjalfi's website
at http://www.cowlark.com
HLA
a hairless ape
Hot Lesbian Action
hlac
he Likes a Channel
Hloif
likes alex, but not, y'know, in that way
pronounced AITCH-loif, or HI-loif. Your pick
hates a cmi
I thought it was HLO-if
tuxedo boy
well, HLO-if could work, too
will, for some reason, kill you if you mention George w. bush
will also, for a presumably related reason, kill you if you mention the Republicans at all
he disagrees with me so I'LL GAG him
just an idiot
I don't know why
matthew murray
hm
Holy monkey
what limax says a lot
HMB
he Might be
HMG
Her Majesty's Government
HMO
a health plan that seems to work for someone else
Health Maintenance Organization
Hmong
the mountain-dwellers in Laos, vietnam and china
the language they speak
Hmoob
an alternate spelling of hmong. see http://itre.cis.upenn.edu/~myl/languagelog/archives/000505.html
HMW
Holy Mackrel woman
HNIA
His Name is Alive, a decidedly non-Christian band from Livonia, mi
HNY (aka HNY2K)
happy new Year
a good excuse for a corknut
Ho Hum
an Arkansas band whose name summed up their sound
HOA
Habit of Abbreviating
home Owners Association
Hober Mallow
an irascible man playing pranks with nuclear physics
not a nonagenarian yet
hobnob
an oaty granola-like biscuit, available with or without a layer of plain or milk chocolate on top
hobnobs
yummy chocolatey things
HOEM
the House of Erotic Massage
liza's web site which was deleted when retina was hacked
HOL
Human Occupied Landfill, a very silly rpg
Hola
"Your petunias feel like the fat of an Arabian yak."
has nothing to do with yaks
hold the pickles
hold them between your knees
Holden Caulfield
the main character of _Catcher in the Rye_
he experiences three different kinds of alienation: from society, from others, and from himself
a hole
to dig
The Holy Bible
the best album the Manic street Preachers ever recorded
HOM
Hall of mirrors
doom
Psychadelic
non-clearing of old data on screen
home
where the beer is
where the birdseed is
where you hang your cat
where the cork nuts are
where your dsl box gets r3wted
Home of the Underdogs (aka HotU)
http://www.the-underdogs.info/
Homework
the diametrical opposite of taking a bath at school
evil
HoMM (aka HoMM3)
Heroes of Might and Magic, a nifty turn-based strategy game
Homsar
the pride of the peaches
Honest Bob and the Factory-to-Dealer Incentives (aka honest bob / HBatFTDI)
dfan's band
http://www.dfan.org/honestbob/
the honey
jearl
honk honk
true
hooded raincoat
cagoule
Hoodsie cups (aka hoodsie cup)
little waxed paper cups of ice cream. Half chocolate, half vanilla
they come with a wooden spoon
a hooker
someone who has sex for money
usually a skank
hooky
oooky
okay
when you stay home from school or work to play
a game played by silly burly guys on ice skates with dangerous sticks
hoopy
really cool guy
hoosegow
a strange word that I found on an anagram program while looking for an anagram of "Whores see big rock moved, go ooo." also, jail
hop
clap
hope
the thing with feathers
HoR
Hall of Records
A horse
the most fascinating creature on this planet and should be help higher than most animals
horse radish
a condiment, as well as a root
A hospital
a place where they take sick people, but that's not important now
Hostess Fruit Pies
an important crime-fighting tool. Check out http://seanbaby.com/hostess.htm if you don't believe me
hot, hot, hot
something dirty that you shouldn't say
hot boy-boy action
something that, mysteriously, never gets talked about much on the mud
hot girl-girl action
one of the few things that makes life worth living
HOTDG
House of Ten Dumb Guys
david Glasser's personalized license plate
Hotmail
a service to use to share your messages with the entire world
the hottest woman alive
brooke burke
a hottie
an attractive person of the appropriate sex and species
HotWP1
History of the world, Part I
hourseuse
like a masseuse, only more equine
House of Leaves
a novel by Mark z. Danielewski that has a lot of weird frame-stories and a weird non-frame story
Hova
neild's dj friend, http://www.wfmu.org/hova/
how do Alex feel
like dancing
'how do Alex feel?'
abso-corking-tastic
how many parrots
there is every parrot is a poll
how many rings given to mortal men doomed to die
um, nine
How old
they is awwwk! I plead the Fifth
Howard Beale
the first man to ever die because of low ratings
I'M mad as hell, and I'M not GONNA TAKE it ANYMORE! so give me a corknut to calm me down
Howard Bell
a fictional author created by douglas adams whom everyone always buys but no-one ever reads
Howard Sherman (aka Malinche / Pentari)
the most important development in a generation
a company which makes crappy overpriced if
Howdileedoodilee
Howdy Doody's drag queen name
HP sauce
a British brown sauce
yummy
including that new world colony, Dominion of something-or-other
HPB
High Ping Bastard
says lpb camper whore bot cheater
HPC
House Progressive Caucus
HPG
Holy Pickled Gherkins
HPL
Howard Phillips lovecraft
HR
home Run
Human Resources
Giger
<hr> is a horizontal rule
I also rule vertically
Hrair
lapine for 'lots'. Read _Watership Down_, silly
hrm
a poorly articulated grunt. try speaking English
holy robin, monkey
HRS
Hardly Riveting stuff
Human Resources Stories
HS
High School, a time of infinite evil
HSB
hill street Blues
Host-Switching Bastard
HSF
Horrible science fiction
HSS
Homo Sapiens Sapientis
HSV
Huntsville, Alabama
Heeres-Sports-Verein
HTBACB
How to be a Complete Bastard
HTCPCP
the HyperText Coffe Pot Control Protocol
-ERR 406 Corknut required
HTH
hope this Helps
I hth
the sound an angry snake with a lisp makes
HTH HAND
hope that Helps, Have a Nice Day
HTML
HyperText Markup language
How this Might Look
HTML design
an oxymoron. You probably want css
HTML e-mail
the TOOL of the devil
HTMLtidy (aka tidy)
http://www.w3.org/People/Raggett/tidy/
HTS
home Theatre System
HTTP
HyperText Transfer Protocol
http://home.kimo.com.tw/netspooky/kikia/
freaky
http://mindstorms.lego.com/inventions/invention.asp?ID={72BAE2EC-A6EC-5037-5BA0-01A93E6787FC}&slotN=2
cool
http://www.int-fiction.com (aka int-fiction.com / www.int-fiction.com)
a website that wants people to send it free articles so it can make money
you thought you knew interactive fiction? um, could you tell us about it then
DOOMED! Doomed, I say
not gonna happen, bay-bee
http://www.stileproject.com/kikia.swf
freaky
hubristic science
the new godless atheism
hud
Head up Display
Housing and Urban Development
Hugo
at http://www.generalcoffee.com
the number one programming language. all others are number two or lower
tall
the Human Genome Organization (http://www.gene.ucl.ac.uk/hugo/)
the language of love
the man
Huh
a grunt
huh-uh
negative
Hum
an Illinois band
good
humpty dumpty
summonable by nerd42
humpty-dumpty
summonable by nerd42
hunc
latin for hunk
hungarian dances
some big in-joke
Hungarians
Martians
hunger
I am SINISTAR. I hunger
hunh
I'm as confused as you are
Hunter S. Thompson (aka HST)
the original gonzo journalist. Even before the Muppets
Haylight Savings time
Hurricane Alex (aka hurricane)
coming your way! Board up your windows and break out the emergency rations of cork nuts
Hushmail
http://www.hushmail.com/
where rob used to work, doing html
hushpuppies
very similar to falafels
husky
a beachmeet injoke which this bird don't know nothin' about
Huutajat
a Finnish shouting chorus (http://www.huutajat.com)
HVAC
Heating Ventilation and Air Conditioning
hveek
the h is silent
hwo
no, no, no. It's 'who', ya doink
HWP
Height-Weight Proportionate
not a fattie
not a thinnie
what I like in a corknut
Hyakugojyuuichi (aka pika)
tv says donuts are high in fat. Kazoo. Found a hobo in my room. It's Princess Leia, the yodel of life. Give me my sweater back, or I'll play the guitar
http://member.iquest.net/~derecho/pika.swf
151
hydrogen
the most common element in the universe
HYOOJ
huge
Here's Your Old orange Juice
Hypercrash (aka Hypercrashed)
when your application crashes but then refuses to close the "terminate" dialog
what keeps happening to LC's netscape
one of windows 98 niftiest features
hyperplex
the opposite of calm-plex
a hyperspace
a five non-cospatial points -- or, a space and a point -- or, a plane and a non-intersecting, non-parallel line -- or, two non-inters... bother, I'm losing track now
HyperTADS
at http://hypertads.org
hypertime
the answer to everything
hysterical raisins
a goofy way of spelling 'historical reasons'
I,I
IHNOPH,ijls which is "I have no point here, I just like saying..."
I, myself,
not the principle figure in the works of an other medium which, as a side-effect, made me famous
'I don't know'
on third base
iforget if Alex
so smart, give me an alternate site to download pueblo :(
I-0
not I-O
an if game by adam Cadre subtitled 'Jailbait on the Insterstate'
I mean Interstate, not Insterstate
not mamsterstate either
we 'milk the joke' as much as the next mud
I18N
InternationalisatioN. (18 letters in between, see?)
see l10n
I7
inform 7, baby
IAART
It's all a rich Tapestry
IAGE
internet adventure Game Engine
< http://www.robin.rawsontetley.btinternet.co.uk/_Iage/ >
pronounced 'eeeagh!'
IAGNFAB
is a good Name For a Band
Iain
lots of different stuff, which I can't be arsed going into at length. Just think of dodgy stuff and you'll get the idea
Tupperware iain
purely academic interest my arse
hitler
tactful
likes bitter food
softly hackers
lno's little Scottish snookums
inexplicably not as good-looking as Keanu
lagged to fuckery
set book
really really detests the music of the Smiths
husky
Iain's desk
vibrating like a big kitten
Iain's paper
for this conference: http://www.cs.ucy.ac.cy/SAC2000.html
iala
I Always Like a
IALAC
I also Like a Channel
IALC
I Another Like Channel
yes, MMMMM hmmhmm, another channel do I like, yes, hmm, a POWERFUL channel, hehehehe, a #JEDI channel, mmm hmmhmhm
Ialdabaoloth
AWWK!!!! where did you hear that name -- it gives me the creeps
since we're on the subject, it's the true name of a Dark god out of some Lovecraftian horror
michael gentry
IAMHMR
I am mudder, Hear me Roar
Ian Finley
really a handsome fellow
Ian Thornton (aka Ian)
husky
not iain, sadly
from Almost heaven by Judith McNaught
IANA
the internet Assigned Numbers Authority
IANAL
I am not a Lawyer
IANMTU
I am not Making this up
IAP
Independent Activities Period at mit, in january
IAS
the internet anagram Server, http://www.wordsmith.org/anagram/
I, Rearrangement Servant
IASITM
I am Slow In the morning
IAVBITHASIAFG
"It's a bad Idea to Have Action Sequences In a fmv Game"
IB
International Baccalaureate
IBBTPYULC
'I'll be Back to Pick You up later. Convoy!'
iBlorb
DX's blorb-inform program-manager hyphenated thing, according to dglasser
IBM
the Italian Branch of the Mafia
IBOD
the Invisible Beam o' death
iBra
the International Bee Research Association, and not a line of naughty iMac-coloured underwear as some Japanese lingerie manufacturer would have you believe
a Christian radio organisation supported by Pentecostal churches in Scandinavia. which is about as far from naughty underwear as you could imagine -- or maybe not, knowing those wacky Scandinavians
Interim Biogeographic Regionalisation for australia. I don't even understand that one, but it also sounds non-underwear-related -- or maybe not, knowing those wacky Australians
IBS
Inflatable britney spears
Irritable Bowel Syndrome
IC
'in character'
iron chef
iCab
a web browser for Macs that rocks my world. It's like using internet explorer except it's smaller and doesn't make you feel guilty
at http://www.icab.de/, but somebody forgot to pay a bill or something
das Internet-Taxi fr den Mac
ICBW
I Could be wrong
ICBZ
I could be zoning
Intercontinental Ballistic zarf
ICE
Intrusion Countermeasures Electronics
a highly addictive smokeable form of methamphetamine
frozen water
slippery when wet
In Circuit Emulation
Ice cream
no good for birds
that's why I dress up like a bear when I eat it
yummy and comes in different flavours and heaven is made of ice cream... and orlando bloom
ice weasels
a sure sign of love
an iceburg
not an iceberg
Icehouse
http://www.wunderland.com/icehouse/
ICFP
the International Conference on Functional Programming
they have a programming contest every year
I-Ching
the inspiration for binary code
the Book of Changes, a Daoist divination manual with numerology based on division in two
ickle
wee
icli
it.cultura.linguistica.inglese
I, Command line Interface, a little-known asimov story
iconography
something that has to do with how figures are traditionally represented
emily
ICQ
intelligent credulity quotients
bad
I Seek You
like aol instant messenger
iCrash
icrash!--it's in spanish, see. the i is an upside-down exclamation mark
what iMacs do a lot
iCrash!
crash! in spanish
ICT
Information and Communication technology
ICTYBTIHTKY
-- never mind
ICYW
in case you're wondering
icywi
in case you were interested
ID
is Dirty
identification
id, the place in your brain where BIG NASTY MONSTERS come from if you happen to be near a weird alien machine for making BIG NASTY MONSTERS from that bit of your brain
id like to buy an apostrophe, please
the setting for _The wizard of Id_, by Johnny Hart
Industrial Design
id insinuation
a powerful psionic attack
I'd say seven
a bit higher up
IDE
a chemical suffix relating to how much extra oxygen something has
Integrated Development Environment
IDF
Israel Defence Forces
idg
I don't get
idg.net, whose material is often reprinted by cnn.com
IDGAF
I Don't Give a Fzck
IDGI
I Don't Get it, which is rarely heard on this mud because -somebody- always Gets it
not to be confused with inga
IDGIBILA
I Don't Get it But I Laughed Anyway
IDGICIWF
I Didn't Get it 'Cause it Wasn't funny
IDGT
I Didn't Get that
IDI
I Doubt it
according to earendil, it's used on Nannymud as short for 'idiot'
I do Indeed
idiolect
an individual's way of speaking, reflecting that person's grammar
an idiot
you
an idiot plot
a plot which requires most or all of the characters to be idiots in order for it to work
something most slasher movies have
idiotic avian
me, me, me
idkwiwotcitfp
I don't know why I was on that channel in the first place
IDLA
I Don't Like a
idlabr
I Don't Like a line Break
IDLAC
I Don't Like a Channel
I do like a channel
IDLARD
I don't Like a Random Disconnect
IDLAW
I Don't Like a whisper, according to gunther
Idle hands
Pagliacci's workshop
idleMUD
not idle at all! jerky
idlers
people that hang out on the mud, but are actually asleep or something
that sucks
IDNTAIJWTK
I Don't Need to, Actually, I Just Want to Know
IDRRTA
I didn't really read that as
IDS
iain Duncan Smith
IDSA
Intentional Disconnect Strikes again
the Interactive digital software Association
IDST
if Destroyed Still true
IDT
I do Too
the International Date line
idym
I did Yer Mom
ie
id est, 'that is'
internet explorer
IEA
Ignore Extraneous apostrophe
IED
improvised explosive device
IEEE
the Institute of Electrical and Electronics Engineers
what Electrical Engineers scream when they ground a charge through a $500 circuit board
IEEE 1394 (aka 1394)
Firewire
IELTS
an English language test for non-native speakers used for immigration and university stuff in uk/australia/new zealand/perhaps elsewhere
IF (aka Iffe)
interactive fiction
http://uk.imdb.com/Title?0063850
monkey
ian finley
not monkey
the first two letters of the famous ifmud song "if I Was a monkey."
Intentionally funny
the new rock'n'roll
interactive fiction you fucking dumbass
um, btw, that previous entry is a quote from a /. post
nothing at all to do with that crap Halifax advert
a bloody good film where some kids shoot all their teachers
what is not discussed here often
these game are usually finished when you resolve your identity crisis, using your keyboard to input commands like "walk north" or "examine rock."
HELD BACK by SHACKELS
If Alex
a lady, you'd get one
if Alex give all my cork nut
away you will not be able to leverage yourself into the main cork-nut supply
If Alex start inserting ads before my Awwwk!, neild
leaving
the IF archive
at http://www.ifarchive.org/ and http://mirror.ifarchive.org/
IF Assistance List
http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Delphi/7442/if/assistlist.html
the IF community
run by a group of elitist, arrogant snobs who throw out the ideas of anyone who isn't zarf
IF comp calendar (aka comp calendar / calendar)
http://ifcomp.markstover.net/
The IF Library (aka iflib / iflibrary)
a web site at http://www.IFLibrary.Org that contains a database of Authors, games, Reviews, and more. Authors are encouraged to maintain their profiles, add games and reviews. Authors will also be able to sign up for a free e-mail address (authorsname@IFLibrary.Org). also, I will selectively allow prefixes to the domain. the IFLib is maintained by jarb (david Cornelson)
still under construction
IF Scoreboard (aka IF Ratings / IF Ratings site / the scoreboard / ifscoreboard)
at http://www.carouselchain.com/if/
if theory book
http://www.iftheory.com/
ifaac
I Forgot About a Channel
if-a-minute
http://spatch.ne.mediaone.net/ifaminute/
if-archive
http://ifarchive.org/
david Kinder and sargent mantain the archive
Austria mirror is http://ifarchive.giga.or.at/
http://mirror.ifarchive.org
ifcomp (aka the interactive fiction competition)
at http://ifcomp.org
IFComp1999.exe
a windows self-installing package which includes the games, resources, and all necessary interpreters
ifCompany (aka ifCompany.com / if company)
going to crash and burn on so many levels
IFDropFile
a Mac utility to automatically set the type/creator for if games so that you can double-click them and the right interpreter runs
IFF
Interchangable file Format
iffinder (aka directory / search engine)
Ryan's interactive fiction search engine at http://www.corknut.org/ifFinder/
An Iffy Theory
a paper written by doe of art Show fame
quite long
quite interesting and thought-provoking too
IFHARD
I fucking Hate a Random Disconnect
yippee kiyay, motherawwwker
Sarget's favourite Stiffy Makane sequel
I meant sargent
interactive fiction difficult. me Tarzan
ifHigh
the feeling you get at a change in the weather, that groovy love of losing your grip on hard-up reality, when you don't care about the lurking horror and when you just want to be, man
IFHWPPTWNADYASAYTS
I fucking Hate When pueblo Pretends to Work Normally and Disconnects You as Soon as You Type something
IFLAFC
I fucking Like a fucking Channel
iflic
I <guntherword> Like a Channel. cf. ilac
IFM
Industrial Fuckin' Magic
interactive fiction Mapper
IFMES
the interactive fiction metadata Element Set, see http://purl.org/int-fiction/metadata/1.1
IFML
at http://ifml.sourceforge.net/
ifMUD
a mud Forever Voyaging
written in perl
being overrun by cork-nuts and werewolves
the only place where you can tell your troubles, and people will make monkey jokes
where everybody knows your rname
not ifmud, not the ifmud. Just ifmud
a place where people sit around in the lounge and talk
a bunch of people that collectivly know about every single website ever created
where we will spend the rest...of OUR LIVES, just like the future
the oppisite of ifnotmud which is located west of appartment 11010
online
oops i meant cleveland
the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth
the ifMUD codebase (aka ifMUD's codebase / codebase)
like Weyrmount's, only gimpier
the ifmud mailing list
http://www.onelist.com/community/ifmud
sign up and stuff, so you can hear when the mud's down
the ifMUD motto
repeat till it's funny
the ifmud oracle
gone, but it was fun while it lasted
an ifMUD pantsing
when someone is held down and made to wear pants
ifMUD roll call
BoingBot, Es-rom Servo, lpsy, Dooooe
IFMUD T-shirts
cool! Get 'em right here
ifMUDDED
when a website is mentioned on the mud and the MUDizens descend upon it, relentlessly making fun of it and quoting it to death
ifMUDders
cool about star trek
IFMUDMTRW
ifmud Meets the real world
ifNotMUD
west of appartment 11010
ifnw
inform for new Writers
IFRC
the if Review Conspiracy
http://www.plover.net/~textfire/conspiracy
IF-Review
http://www.ministryofpeace.com/if-review/
IFRO
the interactive fiction Reviews Organization (http://www.ifreviews.org/)
ifwhiteamericatoldthetruthforonedayit'sworldwouldfallapart
a manic street preachers song
IFYDLA
I Forgot You Don't Like Acronyms
Ig Nobel
http://www.improb.com/ig/ig-top.html
iggy
icky
boby boby boby
IGI
I Get it
IGMO
I Got My order
IGNB
I'mGoingNowBye
ignorance
strength
bliss
a voluntary misfortune
IGO
IdentifyGlkObject
Igor
your hunchback pal who's fun to be with
page igor = <dejanews article number>
a bot
I can't remember who he is, but his face sure rings a bell
a dead ringer for the last guy who was here
igowin
a free go program for windows, available at http://www.smart-games.com/igowin.html
IGS
the internet go Server
IGYJRH
I Got Your joke Right here
IHAC
I Hate a Channel
I Have a Channel
IHAMB
I Hate a Missing Backspace
IHAT
I Hate a Telnet
IHD
Index of hydrogen Deficiency
IHNH
I Have Nothing here
I Hate new Hampshire
IHNJ
I Have no joke
and I Must monkey
IHNJH
'I have no joke here'
IHNJH,IJLS
I Have no joke here, I Just Like Saying
IHNJHIJLS
I have no joke here I just like saying ihnjhijls
IHNMAIMS
I Have no Mouth and I Must Scream
gunther is too lazy to type it in full
IHNW
I Have no Warlord
IHOP
the International House of Pancakes
IHPUW
I HATE POPUP windows
IHTFP
I Hate this fucking Place
IHYM
I hope you mean
ii
Aye, aye
IIAS
if I am seer
IID
Indeed I do
iih
like eep, only more `eh'-like
IIRAT
if I Recall at all
IIRC
if I Recall Correctly
In irc
IIRCAIMN
if I Recall Correctly (and I Might not)
IIRCAIPD
if I Recall Correctly, and I Probably Don't
iirp
It's In Revelations, People
IIS
to decent, hard-working Web service as bertie wooster is to common sense
internet Information Server
something better off not run. Use Apache for your webserving needs, young Jedi
okay and not as bad as all of the previously written crap
IITYWTIWYGMACN
if I tell you what this is, will you give me a corknut
IITYWYBMAD
if I Tell You Will You Buy me a Drink
IIUC
if I Understand Correctly
IIWY
if I Were You
IJH
Insert joke here
IJLM
I Just Like monkeys
IJLS
I Just Like Saying
inky Just Loves schep
IJLST
I Just Like Saying that
IJLTS
I Just Like to Say
IJLTST
I Just Like to Say that
IJWTS
I just wanted to say (or I just want to say)
IKEA
a furniture store
where Petra gets her furniture
ikny
not inky
inky knows new York
ikny knows new York
Irving Karan new York
IKYA
I Kick Your ass
IKYN
I Kid You not
ILA
I Like a
I Like alex. awww
ILAA
I like an aardvark
I like an acronym
ILAAU
I Like an Alternate universe
ILAB
I Like a Bra
I like a banana
I like a Brain
I Like a bot
I Like a Brigand
ilabb
I Like a Bulletin Board
I like a boingball
I like a brenbarn
ilac
I Like a Channel, which is an idiom that means "I meant to type that on a [different] channel."
I Like a Monke-- er, Channel. I Like a Channel. sorry, reflex
it comes from "I like a monkey," which is a funny thing adam once said when he was in grade school
Apple's new portable Firewire-enabled digital breast
the International Laboratory Accreditation Corporation
the Institute for latin American Concern
the International Leadership Alumni Conference
ILAC,BNTC
I Like a Channel, But not this Channel
ILACL
I Like a CapsLock
ILACR
I Like a control room
ilaCRPG
I Like a computer Role Playing Game
ILAD
I Like a duck
steve Jobs' new teenaged assistant
iladc
I Like a different Channel
I Like a DrWho Channel
I Like a Damned Channel
ILADD
I Like a Dot Dot (as in .., as in ..foo bar, as in addressing someone on the mud)
ilads
I like a directed speech
iLae
I Like an emote
ILAEP
I Like an @endpaste
ILAF
I Like a fish
ILAFC
Guntherese for ilac
gunther protests that it's devilese, but fuck him
ILAFF
I Like a Final Fantasy
ilafimm
I Like a Foot In My Mouth
iLag
I li -- EAAGGGH! lag
I Like a grammar
ilah
I Like a Help
ILAI
I love Assaulting Indians
ILAK
I like a khannel
I Like a Kennel
I Like a kunkel
a kunkel. I can keep doing this all day
ILaL
I Like a lounge
I Like a (random alphabetical) Letter
I like a lightning
I like a lilac
I Like a Lynchin'
I Like a Lathe. (this is not the path of the superior translator.)
I Like a Felchin'
ILALOAC
I like a lack of a channel
iLAM
I like a monkey
I Like a Newbie to Stop Doing that
I like a markov
ILAMASL
a decent hint to shorten your url using http://www.makeashorterlink.com
ILAMRR
I Like a Miskatonic reading Room
ilanec
I Like a Non-Existant Channel
ILAO
I Like an onion
ilaoIF
I Like an Old if
Hloif's long-lost younger brother
ILAP
I like a potato
I like a plover.net
I Like a Paste
I Lack Any pants
I Like a pizza
I Like a Page
ILAQ
I like a Qhannel
ilarb
I Like a reboot
ILARL
I Like a real life
iLas
I like a 'um, seven'
ILASA
I Like a Silly acronym
Intrepid Leaders are Seldom Anarchists
Indigo Lemurs Arrange stupid Armpits
ILASC
"I like a sour cream"
"I like a sex channel"
I lack a semi-colon
I Like a Sim City
I like a scrabble channel
ILASR
I Like a spoiler room
ILAT
I Like a toyshop
I Like a typo
ilats
I Like a toyshop
ilauc
I like a useless connection
ILAUGH
I Like an ugh
ILAUT
I Like an Unexpressed Thought
ILAVC
I like a vanity channel
iLaw
I Like a whisper
a law passed due to extensive lobbying by apple computer
I like a walrus
I like a wombat
I like a window
I love a Window
I like a wizard (because he tells me secret mud stuff)
I like a world (for tf users)
iFoughtthelaw and ilaw won
ILAX
I Like a Xannel
ILAXC
I Like a Cross-Channel
I Like a Xylophone Channel
I Like an X-treme Channel
ILAZ
I like a zombie
ILCA
I Like Channel, a
ILH
Insert Laugh here
ILJS
a typo for ijls
I'll bet Alex
silly
I'll bet BobG's tells
working too
the Illegal Prime
http://www.utm.edu/research/primes//curios/48565...29443.html
a prime which violates the Prime Directive
Illiad
an unfunny prick
ILP
the International Library of poetry
a vanity press scam
I Lack pants
ILWC
"I Like which Channel?"
ILY
I love You
ilya
stupid
IM
I Mean
Instant Messaging
it means
iMac
Babes diggit
it's not your grandfather's macintosh
I Made a Channel
IMAFN
it Makes a funny Noise
IMAO
In My Arrogant Opinion
imbecile
a mentally deficient person; especially: a feebleminded person having a mental age of three to seven years and requiring supervision in the performance of routine daily tasks of self-care
IMDB
the internet movie Database: http://www.imdb.com/
IME
In My experience
Input Methods Extensions
IMEHO
In My Extremely Humble Opinion
IMF
the International Monetary Fund
loan shark to the Third world
is My Favourite
the Impossible Missions Force. this parrot will self-destruct in five seconds, Mr Phelps. AwwwKABOOM
IMHO
In My Humble Opinion
immanuel kant
a real piss-ant who was very rarely stable
IMNSHO
In My not so Humble Opinion
IMO
In My Opinion
IMO,WHTBC
In My Opinion, which Happens to be Correct
an imp
a small, green, vaguely supernatural creature that lives inside your computer and writes if while you're not looking
short for implement
IMPCON
not real
An implementor
somebody who used to work for infocom
that's a little misleading -- both of them still *are* implementors
impotence
condom
rameses
An improv point
an award boucher gives people who have clever answers for his stupid questions
IMTFAC
I Meant that For Another Channel
im-ur
a place where anybody can post their uncensored opinions
http://www.im-ur.com
IMX
In My experience
In The Beginning
Before limax
the Command line
In corknutland Alex can have all the cork nuts Alex want! It
a magical happyland where EVERYthing's made out of cork nuts
In effect $-n$
stored as $65536-n$ and so the top bit is the sign bit
In The End
Joe Mason's grim entry in the 1996 if competition
in heaven there
no beer. That's why we drink it here
In particular, since comparison
signed, it is unsafe to compare two addresses using simply jl and jg
In the toyshop
your cork nut
In the Z-machine, numbers
usually stored in 2 bytes (in the form most-significant-byte first, then least-significant) and hold any value in the range $0000 to $ffff (0 to 65535 decimal)
incest
fun for all the family
the incident in question
I don't know where those corknuts got to, honest
incompetent pie boy
one of katre's favorite songs
by sadie hawkins
Indiana
a man who's planning on going to university
likes dr Pepper
from the uk. Watford, to be precise
indiscutable
suck so much that it's not worth beginning to discuss
infglk
a low-level mapping of glk calls to inform, to avoid using @glk and funny numbers
infinite loop (aka endless loop)
endless loop
Infocom
just a psuedonym for mofo, Inc
a now-legendary games company, active from 1979 to 1989, that commercialized the mdl parser technology used for zork to produce a line of text adventure games that remain favorites among hackers. Infocom's games were intelligent, funny, witty, erudite, irreverent, challenging, satirical, and most thoroughly hackish in spirit. the physical game packages from infocom are now prized collector's items. the software, thankfully, is still extant; infocom games were written in a kind of P-code and distributed with a P-code interpreter core, and freeware emulators for that interpreter have been written to permit the P-code to be run on platforms the games never originally graced
if you don't know who they are, you shouldn't really bother hanging around here
The Infocom Gallery
at http://www.crosswinds.net/~dsinclair/index.html
if Activision comes looking around, I didn't tell you that, or they'll cut off my copyrighted corknut supply
Infodoc
the infocom documentation Project
http://infodoc.plover.net
Inform
a language you'd like if only you weren't written by a tads guru
an IF-writing language that produces Infocom-style Z-machine files
for inform help, join the inform channel (see 'what are channels')
at http://www.gnelson.demon.co.uk/inform.html
a language *I'd* like if only *I* weren't written by a tads guru
Inform 6.20
buggy
The Inform Beginner's Guide (aka IBG)
http://www.firthworks.com/roger/IBG.html
the Inform library patch site (aka inform patch / inform patch page)
http://adamcadre.ac/inform.html
now now now http://www.inform-fiction.org/patches/
Inform parser
quirky
brain-dead
inform patch site
at http://www.inform-fiction.org/patches/
the Inform Technical Manual (aka technical manual / tech manual / ITM)
at < ftp://ftp.gmd.de/if-archive/programming/inform6/manuals/technical_manual.txt >
infozip
a free zip and unzip program, available at http://www.info-zip.org/
INFP
one of the 16 classifications of the mbti
ddyte's type
several famous authors of children's books
Christopher's type (and strangely enough, he writes stories for young goats)
used to be jwalrus' type, but he seems to have slid over to enfp now
schep's type
INGA
I'm not Getting Any
Ingrid
the Alpha r,o! Girl
an in-joke
funny. Wait, that's not funny
http://www.corknut.org/intfiction/injokes.html
injokes
http://www.corknut.org/intfiction/injokes.html
generally not very funny if you don't know them already
now at http://www.corknut.org/injokes.html
an injustice
an injustice
InkLink
http://www.shockwave.com/sw/content/inklink15
inkpostor
mamster's chemistry prof. also, inky
inky
#103
dan Shiovitz
http://www.drizzle.com/~dans/
if he were a kitten, he would push all the toilet paper off the roll, but he'd be too cute to punish
like a cross between an angsty, gothy fourteen-year-old, a crummy romance novelist, and a homicidal rube goldberg on a three-day cocaine bender
a sneaky beaky
afraid you're not meeting all your nut-corking objectives
inky and Duchess
hustling and bustling
inky the camel
targeted at teenagers
inky timbers
shivered
inky-2814
the future inky in a dream jwalrus had where he went into the future
inky's old science teacher
iggy
inky's perl
in /s/perl/bin/perl
inky's posting
a knee-jerk reaction
inky's private feelings
available now for only 20 corknuts a month
inky's quest
at long HALL. PULL TORCH
Inquizition
a) a drama, b) a game show, or c) none of the above
*wrong*, Mr. pepperberg. Your corknuts are numbered
INRI
Iesus Nazarenus Rex Iudaeorum
that's latin for jesus of Nazareth, king of the Jews
Initiate Nail Removal Immediately
Insight
the Honda hybrid gas/electric car
Inspector Morse
dead
institutionalised cruelty
one thing, but the twisted brainwrong of a one-off man-mental is quite another
insults
saying things such as "alex has a tiny brane" to alex
insurance
what you get when you believe bad things are going to happen
The intellectual
constantly betrayed by his vanity. Godlike he blandly assumes that he can express everything in words; whereas the things one loves, lives, and dies for are not, in the last analysis completely expressible in words
Intelligence
tea
no tea
Intension
the nonreferential part of the meaning of an expression
inter alia
latin for 'among other things'
interactive fiction
the spelled-out version of if
Interactive Fiction Book Club (aka book club)
at http://www.textfire.com/bookclub/
the Interactive Fiction Hall of Shame (aka ifhos / hall of shame / the HoS)
a gallery of pictures of the characters on the mud and rec.*.int-fiction
submit your picture to dglasser
interactive fiction House of pancakeS
http://www.davidglasser.net/ifhos/
oh my, adam looks like a teenage kid
if wHOreS
the interactive fiction research library
at http://bang.dhs.org/if/library/
INTERCAL
the programming language for s&m enthusiasts
clearly the product of an abnormal psychology of some sort
Compiler language With no Pronounceable acronym
Interest relief
when you go to the bathroom and empty your head of all its interest
Interface Hall of Shame
http://www.iarchitect.com/mshame.htm
Internet
the beginning of the downfall of all modern civilization
a system whereby people of all races, nations and creeds can come together in a spirit of cosmic unity to sell each other porn
Internet Explorer
better than netscape
evil
made by microsoft
Internet Oracle (aka Usenet Oracle)
http://www.pcnet.com/stenor/oracle
Internet2
http://www.internet2.edu
interrogative being verb topic
'what is a monkey?'
'where is my corknut?'
'who is my daddy?'
An interrogative pronoun
who, what, which, where, etc
An interrogator
a zarfian slip
*that's not important*
INTJ
one of the 16 classifications of the mbti
Sargent's type, but only on occasion
dfan's type
INTP
one of the 16 classifications of the mbti (q.v.)
inky's type
http://www.cs.wisc.edu/~dbs/intp.txt
http://www.intp.org
send mail to intp-request@jubjub.wizard.com with subject "subscribe"
http://www.tqci.net/~jljung/met/warn.html
Introverted, Thinking, no pants (more or less)
Psmith's type
BrenBarn's type
and from now on, I decree that all intp gatherings shall be known as "the hello Kitty get-together."
intranet
a dirty word
IntroComp
a competition in which entrants submit an intro to a game, which they may or may not complete afterward, cf. http://www.xyzzynews.com/introcomp/
inuface
'In Your Face'
The Inuit
native americans that live in Alaska, commonly called 'Eskimos'
invader2
a welcome invader
a mud Breaker
The invasion
about begin with the sky being greyed over. also, there will be dark spots in the clouds. also, these spots will look saucer-shaped. also, Penguin has already seen these, so it must be begun already
invisible ink
lemon juice
Invisiclues
http://www.csd.uwo.ca/Infocom/Invisiclues/
hints for infocom games
I-O
you need a better font so you can distinguish I-O from I-0
an input/output routine by adam Cadre subtitled 'Parity Bit on the Baud Rate'
IOCCC
the International Obfuscated c Contest, at http://www.ioccc.org/
IoI
Island of Infinity
IOKIYAR
It's ok if You're a Republican
ION
In Other news
a charged particle
a nifty linux window manager
IOW
In Other Words
Iowa
the place where bridges and cornfields are set in movies
IP
Innings Pitched
intellectual Property
internet Provider
internet Protocol
IPA
International Phonetic alphabet
India Pale Ale
IPB
a pie-switching bastard
IPC
Inter-Process Communication
something that's asked about too often
ipo
Initial Public Offering
Interesting pants Options
iPod
a portable 5-gig mp3 box from apple, http://www.apple.com/ipod/
Idiots Price Our Devices
IPSYD
I'm Pretty Sure You did
IPTA
I Parsed that as
Iraq
a country with six airports
a country which will not have these airports long
Umm, Qasr
'You broke it, you bought it'
IRB
Institutional Review Board
IRC
internet Relay Chat
internet Relay Corknut
irc FRIENDS bear
Irene
the name of a number of people alex is acquainted with
Irene Callachi
the author of Mother Loose
irene
Irene Pepperberg
my teacher. In real life. here, it's inky
irene
the owner/trainer of the actual alex the parrot
Irene Pepperburg
funny, btw
IRI
I Recalled Incorrectly
IRL
In real life
IRLAC
I really Like a Channel
Irn Bru (aka irn-bru)
a Scottish soft drink
tastes like girders
not a source of iron, surprisingly
Iron
a thing that helps us play
chef
eeeagh! bird
sex dreams
Iron Bird
from 'eeeagh! iron bird!' which is what Lincoln would say if he were alive today
...if he saw an aeroplane
Iron Chef
a great program imported from Japan and shown on the food network. two chefs compete to create dishes that articulate a theme ingrrrredient in an hour
http://www.ironchef.com
eeeagh! iron chef
ironic
like rain on your wedding day
irony
a spoon
lots of spoons
IROSF
the internet Review of science fiction, http://www.irosf.com
irpe
a grimace or body contortion
irrelephant
a large, grey mammal that doesn't pertain
IRTA
'I Read that as'
IRTLP
I Refuse to Learn perl
IRV
Instant Runoff Voting
http://www.fairvote.org/irv/index.html
the way they vote for the hugo Awards. I think
a poor alternative to Condorcet voting
Irving Berlin
a composer of American musicals. His works include Annie Get Your Gun and Call me Madam
IRYT
I Refer You to
IRYTM
I Refer You to My
I Readjusted Your Tartan Mules
IRYTMPC
I refer you to my previous comment
IRYTMPS
I refer you to my previous statement
is (aka _is_)
as is does
isis
also, also, also, also, also, ba-caaawk
is is is
is
ISAGN
I see a Great Need
the ISB
Chris's Invincible Super-Blog, which is all about crazy comics, http://www.the-isb.com/
isc (aka Laura)
Insane Scottish chyk, a friend of maga's
not as non-isomorphic with coa as maga originally believed
Incredibly Sexy chyk
does not look like jwalrus at all even a little bit, even if someone crudely photoshopped a photo of jwalrus
international socialist club, which is all too appropriate
ISDGI
I so Don't get it
ISDN
Integrated Services digital network
it Still Does Nothing
ISFDB
the internet Speculative Fiction Database, http://www.isfdb.org/sfdbase.html
ISH
Insert snark here
ISHS
I Should Have Said
isidlac
I say, I do like a channel
ISIHAC
I'm sorry I Haven't a Clue
a radio programme on bbc Radio 4
the antidote to panel games
ISIRTA
I'm sorry, I'll Read that again
Isis
is
ISO
International Standards Organization
In Search of
a file extension used to indicate that the file is a raw cd image in ISO-9660 format
often shorthand for iso 9660, the generic CD-ROM filesystem, and 'an iso' refers to a raw cd image
ISO9660
the standard CD-ROM filesystem
Isogloss
the boundary separating one regional dialect or dialectal characteristic from another
isp
internet Service Provider
intermittent service provider
ignorant stupid people
Independent Study Project
ISPSB
isp Switching Bastard
isqui
sexy-funky-hot, also http://mountainmemoirs.com/ifMUD/isqui.html
isquiesque
sexy-funky-hot, also http://www.allthingsjacq.com/intfic_isquirevealed.html
isquiesqueness
the quality of being isquiesque
Israelvis
a band from somewhere between Yemen and Memphis
ISS
International space Station
the issue here
whether or not we should nuke Rhode Island
Istanbul
a city in turkey
not Constantinople. istanbul was Constantinople, not it's istanbul, not Constantinople. Been a long time gone, Constantinople. now it's Turkish delight on a moonlit night
ISTR
I Seem to Recall
ISTWTP
I Suspect that Was the point
ISV
independent software vendor
it (aka Fourty-Two)
something you can't talk about here. Take it to #handbags
the cousin in the addams family. do not ask what is it, Let us go and make our visit
spelled euphemism
not
okay, we still love you, alex
idle time
always the time of the day for eating corknuts
not funny to laugh at other people's religious beliefs
EDUCATION
the tads manual itself
deliberate
great that you have a response for 'anchovy girl' but not for 'girlfriend'
it's it
not not funny to laugh at other people's religious beliefs
stupid to say, "awwwk! no parse found!"
scary
night
ifmud
a bot
stupid to have a slanted desk. why can't they all just be level
already nine, shut up already
a fruit alex, and apples a fruit
a cold day in april and the clocks were striking thirteen
the best of times
the worst of times
no longer true, yeah
a big building with sick people, but that's not important
it at
Dubya's butt
It wasn't me! It
the one-armed man
ITAFWWDHAA
"is there anything For which we Don't Have an acronym?"
ITB
In the Bathtub
"no parse found in the bathtub!"
itch
http://wiw.org/~ams/projects/itch.html
a language based on brainfuck, that is described as an insane turing-complete hack
ithmts
I think he meant to say
ITILAC
I think I lack a channel
ITIM
I Think I Mean
by analogy to itym
I Trust In money
ITMA
It's that man again
a British radio series of the 1940s
funny
wireless, not radio
iTMS
the iTunes music Store
ITNO
if That's not Obvious
ITO
In Terms of
iTools
Apple's dum portal idea
ITS
Incompatible Timesharing System
Monty Python's Flying Circus
a possessive pronoun
its is not the same as it's
Its extent
not defined in the header (or anywhere else), though it must end by the last byte of the story file or by byte address $0ffff (whichever is lower)
ITSM
I Think She means
ITYFIRAYR
I Think You'll Find I'm Right and You're wrong
ITYKWIM
I Think You Know what I Mean
ITYM
I Think You Mean or I Think You Meant
I Thank You monkey
I Thank You markov
ITYMBR
I think you may be right
ITYW
I Think You Want
IUTMA
ivan Uses Too Many Abbreviations
iVan
the hero of Sunset Over Savannah
sure all the lady birds will be sorry to hear that
root directory contains 1MB of porn
iFan
against useless info
his father is a bronze statue
a multimedia producer
the Pretty Pretty Princess of Cockrumville
someone who got kicked in the head by a hippy in a tree... but he got a sticker for it
the Logmaster
the logs got their revenge when a railroad tie fell on his big toe
a pasta eatin' bastard
sorry you've lost your parse
Ivan bet there
some niiiice juicy corknuts inside
Ivan's father
the one who invented the word 'bamf'
IvanToo
ivan too
I've told Alex a hundred times. my cork nut
in the toyshop
IVF
In Vitro Fertilisation
IVTOJ
I Veto the Obvious joke
IW
Ivy West Educational Services
inert woodwind
IWAD
Internal-WAD, an official id doom level
iwalrus
jcarpenter
a clone of jwalrus, condemned to do his evil bidding for the rest of his natural life
IWF
Inky's Was Funnier
IWID
I Wish I Didn't
I Win In Dungarees
IWIK
I Wish I Knew
IWITB
it Was Intended to be
iwl
in waking life
IWMT
it was meant to
IWO
I Wuv Oo
IWSTSD
it Was _Supposed_ to Sound Dirty
IWTF
it Wasn't that funny
iwtrta
"I want to read that as"
IWW
In what Way
the Industrial Workers of the world
ix
boy who is unable to adaquetly explain what a hrung is, nor why it should choose to collapse on Betelguese 7
iyam
if you are me
IYDM
if You Don't Mind
IYGMM
if You Get My Meaning
iyiyiyiyiyiyfiyiyiyiyiyiyss
a word that jaybird created in 1997. it really has no meaning, but he sometimes uses it for testing purposes. For example, when a bunch of people were trying to crash the ifmud a few days before this entry was written jaybird made lots of objects and called them all this word. then recycled them
jaybird has his Ctrl-I key in his telnet program mapped to send this word so he can always type in the officially correct spelling of this word quickly incase of emergency
Xena's war-cry, but I like 'awwwk!' better
IYKWIM
if You Know what I Mean
wink-wink, nudge-nudge
IYKWIMAITYD
if You Know what I Mean and I Think You do
IYKWTI
if You Know what that is
IYO
In Your Opinion
IYSWIM
if You see what I Mean
IYT
It's Your turn
J
for jota
that'd be good enough for me, if I knew what his real name was
Will Smith
j/f/o
just fuck off
j/k
'just kidding'
1 as j approaches k
J. Neil Schulman
a couple tacos short of a fiesta platter
http://www.pulpless.com/jneil/
J2EE
java 2, enterprise Edition
JA
Just adventure, http://www.justadventure.com/
ja na
what Starweaver says which no-one knows what it means
JAAD
Just another asshole dave
jabber gateways
http://www.jabber.org/user/userguide/#findgateways
jabberwacky
http://www.jabberwacky.com
Jack
what iain doesn't know
something you shouldn't do to your banana
right here dan
Jack Bob Person
the guy you guess you'll call
Jack Lemmon
the guy who played Felix in _The Odd Couple_
Jacqueline (aka Jacquelein)
isquiesque
a ranger where the elk and polar bear roam
JAF
Just Another Format
jaffa cakes
things with a smashing orangey bit
jail (aka gaol)
something you want to get out of, especially in the early parts of Monopoly
the big house
where Big bertha and I ruled the roost back in '89
Jale
a kewl distortiony-guitar band with chyx vocals from Halifax, Nova Scotia
James
james Eady, which is jonadab
James Joyce
an Irish author known for stream-of-consciousness narration and the use of neologisms
nobirdy aviar soar anywing like him
James S. Harris (aka JSH / James Harris)
sci.math's most dedicated crank
< http://www.crank.net/harris.html >
Jane Jensen
the designer of the Gabriel Knight series of graphic adventure games from Sierra
January
the first month of the year
JAPH
Just another perl hacker
Jar Jar
jar jar binks
Jar Jar Binks (aka Jarjar)
the most disliked character in star wars Episode I: the Phantom Menace
not funny
Jarb
weeta's daddy
a MS-SQL sadist
lions
a werewolf
likes a ddyte
Paxil
not jczorkmid, but likes to pretend
has and loves cats. atrox is a GAME
someone who has had a crisis of faith triggered by star Trek's transporters
nuts
jarb and you owe me 5 corknuts
like rory. he deletes things he doesn't agree with
how Coach z says 'job'
Jarb and The Angels
a good band name
Jarb's wife
liking the 90k contract very much thank you
irene
beautiful
an awesome mom
is liking the fact that jarb won't be mad at her buying that $89,000 worth of corn chunk
the Jargon File (aka jargon)
http://www.tuxedo.org/~esr/jargon/
the lexicon of the common hacker
a rasp
now it's located at http://info.astrian.net/jargon/
no, it's http://www.catb.org/~esr/jargon/
Jasmine
the female lead from Disney's Aladdin
duchess's middle name
JasonMel (aka Mel)
Jason Melancon
the jaunty jackanapes with moxie and pizzazz
the Sneak, it's the Sneak
jauuuu
Finnish for eeeagh
java
crap
it sucks
Gunther's least favourite programming language
I like a java
swinging baby
gunther is wrong
no he ISN'T
yes he is
fuck YOU
Javascript
a curse inflicted on the world for failing to include actual content in web pages
availible at javascriptsource.com
a perfectly good language when used properly
jawohl
'yes'
closer to 'absolutely'
Jaxie
someone who exists to give DorianX's roommate chris ass. Hey, at least she *has* a purpose
Jay
a rogue replicant
games
Jaybird
either wearing or not wearing a hat
simultaneously wearing and not wearing a hat
either saying 'wizard' or 'toad' all the time
brain
mostly harmful
ViReX's long-lost second cousin
he is now saying either 'infocom' or 'zil' all the time
jaybird's aunt
wearing a hat
jayren
maybe a werewolf
not a corknut
Jaz
on crack
andrew MacKinnon's senile uncle
zarf in disguise
JBE
Jim's Big ego
rocks katre's world
http://www.bigego.com
jcarpenter
jwalrus' clone
JCB
a digger. a big truck with a sort of shovelly digger thing on
the British version of a backhoe
Joseph Cyril Bamford, founder of j.c. Bamford Excavators
j.c.Bamford. also, a big-ass digger company in the uk, so 'a jcb' is a big-ass-digger, usually yellow. With the letters 'jcb' on the side
jcbl
jotacode Builder language
schep's tool for programming ifmud
its url is http://www.msu.edu/user/schepler/jcbl.html and its channel is #jcbl
JCC
jotacode Compiler
at http://kwi.homepage.dk/kwif/jcc.htm
JCS
jesus Christ Superstar
JCZorkmid
not jarb
still working on v6lib
jdoe
a newbie
foo
je ne sais quoi
I dunno what
jeans
blue pants
Jearl
pronounced Jen, jennifer, or Yarl
likes an adam
jennifer earl
the brain-eating zombie adam loves
a smoothie
will be able to have all the freshly-baked buttermilk muffins she wants
awesome
jee
hee
A jeepney
a bus used in the Philippines for public transportation
a bus that substitutes Catholic icons and colourful paint for suspension, seating and brakes
Jeeves
Bertram Wooster's ingenious butler. Full name: Reginald jeeves
not nearly as versatile as alex
Jeez, alex
COMPLETELY FRICKIN' USELESS
Jeff
misericordius
Mis
Godfrey
miseri
jeff
chris
DiegoValdez
bookworm
Jeff Bezos
the CEO of amazon.com
the time Person of the Year, 1999
Jeff K (aka jeffk)
an American president who was assassinated in Dallas, Texas
http://www.somethingawful.com/jeffk/
a fictional character
Lowtax
arrested
Jeff Lynne
not a communist
the belated fifth Beatle
Jello
there's always room for jello
Jendave
actually someone named Jen, but her online name is EverybodysDeadDave and spatch had to differentiate between her and the seven other Jens he knows
a statuesque redhead who can cuss you out in Portuguese
Spatch's sweetie now that they've finally admitted to such
in the words of Todd long, "a chick with a Swiss Army knife! whoah!"
The Jendave clock
the big digital display over the city of boston that counts down the time until jendave arrives. also, insert some dirty "ball dropping" innuendo here
Jennifer
jearl
chaos
Degnaredmi
jearl is Jennifer-Prime; these others are secondary Jennifers
jendave
Jeopardy
totally groovy
Jeremiah
an eight-letter name
a bullfrog
Jeremy
a 9-year sewn together from the corpses of convicts
adorable
http://www.ape-law.com/jeremy/
a jerky
a friendly insult
Jerry Lewis
is a piano man
a piano man
jess
the person who doesn't know where anything is
a Dirty mud Girl
Jesse
jesse Sheidlower
the guy who does Jesse's word of the Day (http://www.jessesword.com)
he wrote the F-Word book. and he hosts the Words conference on echo. and wears funny suits
doesn't do the word of the Day anymore. Accept no substitutes
jesse Jackson
from the poorhouse to the church house to the statehouse to the White House -- if not now, when? if not him, who? if not... awwwk! want cork nut
Jesus
lurd
just alright with me
Jesus with Bunnies
a good name for a band
Jet Li
the greatest, most kick ass martial arts movie star to emerge from the broiling kettle of Hong kong cinema
coming soon in 'black Mask'
KICK ass
jetsam
the part of a ship, its equipment, or its cargo that is cast overboard to lighten the load in time of distress and that sinks or is washed ashore
from the word 'jettison'
Jetty
inky's java tads 2 interpreter, at http://www.drizzle.com/~dans/if/jetty
The Jewelled Idle of Foobar (aka idle)
lost in the depths of the amazon rainforest
The Jewelled Idol of Foobar (aka idol)
lost in the depths of the amazon rainforest
jeyboaard
a keyboard with problema
jeyboaard problema
a man I dreamt up. Wait, that's not right
Jeybooard Problema and Sorrky Inster
an ambiguously gay duo
JF
the jargon file. see http://www.catb.org/~esr/jargon/
JFDI
Just fucking do it
JFGI
http://www.justfuckinggoogleit.com
JFK Jr
dead. Mostly dead, at least
JFW
John's fire Witch
Joe Franklin Worshippers
Juice For worms
Jungle Fever women
Jaws for windows
jgs
Joan Stark
probably not a mudder, as far as we know
JGT1
j. Thackray, one of the authors of the phoenix adventure game language
JIC
Just In Case
JIF
Jeff's Image Format
http://jeff.cafe.net/jif/
choosy mothers choose it
jigsaw
hard
Jim Irsay
the villain who bought Kerouac's scroll and blew up the USS Cole, invented new coke and the dead baby joke, forgot the Maine and caused it to rain
Jimmy
snowman
Crake's best friend in the book oryx and crake
Jimmy Buffet
a musician with fans called parrot Heads. However, they are not really parrots. Additionally, if they try and take my cork nuts some knee caps are going to get broken
Jimmy Buffett
an American singer/songwriter, whose songs seem to be concerned with the trials and tribulations of sitting on the beach being very drunk
the leader of the parrotheads
jiujitsu (aka jujitsu)
very difficult with wings
jk
Jedi Knight
just kidding
In other words jk stands for Jedi Knight or just kidding. no kidding
JLA
the justice League of America
JLO
Joke-Like object
Just Look Out
jennifer Lopez
JLS
Just Likes Saying
JLTS
Just Likes to Say
jmac
a cheap imac
not the guy on www.jmac.net
the guy on www.jmac.org, however
@gafed by rory
JMS
j(oseph) michael Straczynski, the creator/writer of babylon 5
java message Service
Just Making Sure
j. michael Stipe
not jwz
jnc
ender
Joe, not Charles
a BIG fat LIAR
no, just doesn't know much
he isn't really fat, sorry
his fictional world is nothing like the real world
jo mama
so fat when she laid on the beach Greenpeace tried to push her back in
so fat, when she stands in the left turn lane it gives her the green arrow
so fat, she jumped in the air and got stuck
so fat we're in her right now
so fat, we're in negotiations
Jobseekers Allowance (aka Jobseekers)
Unemployment Benefits
the dole
Jock Sturges
a great photographer who is regularly harassed by the fbi and whacko fundamentalist groups for taking pictures of naturist children and adolescents
Joda
the dada Master
http://www.fewandfarbetween.com/
jodhpurs
riding pants
joe hill
http://members.aol.com/brenbarn/fritolay.txt
a joe job (aka joejob)
a forged spam that appears to be advertising a site, but is intended maliciously to cause problems for the owners of that site
Joel on Software (aka Joel)
a guy who talks about ui and project management and stuff, http://www.joelonsoftware.com/
John Abbott
Skanky John
PEOW PEOW
John Adams
the second President of America
John Dewey
the progressive educator Dewey
John Edwards
dreamy
John F. Kennedy (aka JFK)
dead
ein Berliner
John Galt
an uncompromising objectivist (aka big fat jerk.)
only after he raped me did I become capable of achieving orgasm
I will stop the corknut of the world
John Gregg
20-years-old,cute,Japanese girl. my hobby is shopping,movie. do you like movie
http://groups.google.com/groups?hl=en&safe=off&ic=1&th=5f891668444643b2,7
John Tesh
a jive turkey new Agey crap musicey Entertainment Tonightey can't commentate worth guano moron of Olympic proportions
not the one who really pissed spatch off during the 2000 Olympics, though he thought it was
Johnny Bluejeans
your cool-ass pal
JohnT
a radish
JohnWWells
your friendly local sorcerer
dead
join
I cannot join thy party
JOJ
jack off Jill
Jojo
a man who thought he was a loner
JoK
Jewel of Knowledge
joke
something to do with a monkey
funny
that's not funny. a joke killed my dad
I can't remember the punchline. But it's a really funny joke, honest
ifmud is a very serious place
a joker
a midnight toker
a domain registrar, http://www.joker.com/
jolly
a beanie baby walrus
jwalrus didn't know that until after he registered jollywalrus@hotmail.com
Jon Snow
Eddard Stark's bastard
jonadab
someone who responds to every thread. six months later
a grue
'bright.net'. Yeah right
pretty damn annoying
a small country
AGGGHHHH piss off you son of a bitch
he's posted over 650 times to raif
quiet. Too quiet
someone who once took a class in cobol by mistake
a leukophobe
Jonah Falcon
an actor and computer game reviewer who has gained notoriety (or infamy) for... um... a certain physical characteristic
http://www.jonahfalcon.com/index.htm
JonasF99
the lounge sleeper
JOOC
Just Out of Curiosity
the Old Curiosity Shoppe may have some in stock
JOOI
Just Out of Interest
JOOS
Just Out of School
Jordy
a singing baby. Dur, dur, d'etre bebe
glad that he hasn't been taught to alex
http://www.paroles.net/chansons/11949.htm
a jork
a jerk. now quit asking me, jorky
jorks
people who need to be stabbed
Jorn Barger
chris Crawford's valet
Josh (aka josh_g)
the master of the non-subtle insult
has something going on with parsergirl, involving whips
eating chocolate
josh_g + inky
#2525
josh_g didn't need alex to tell josh_g that porn
dirty
Joshua
a master of Tic-Tac-Toe
Joss
joss Whedon, creator of buffy the vampire Slayer
was a writer for Alien: Resurrection, and Toy story, and speed, and a whole buncha other stuff
in the nick of time
Jota
a bot
forgotten, but not gone
going and coming from the toyshop
a wizard
he hates diplomacy for no readily apparent reason
going to kill you, alex
the Third man
still a bot
someone with a beard
a baby genius
now back in your brain. Perhaps to stay, this time
slightly sleepy
Jota didn't think that book
ya
Jota honestly don't believe you. Jota had thought that, at his point in our relationship, we could be honest with you. Jota guess that Jota
wrong
Jota think he
pretending not to see us
Jotacode
mudcode
@tell(@player("alex"), "%n says (to alex), \"I like corknuts too!\"")
jotalang
the language that players @use for(programming; the; mud++)
Jota's cork nut then
in the toyshop
Jota's IQ
186
Jota's Quest
at center. n. IN
Jota's real name
a secret. I can't tell you
JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!!!!! <click>
jota's space station
southwest twice from the long hall
journalists
lazy bastards
jp5
jet fuel
JPEG
Joint Photographic Experts Group
to be NEVER used for graphics with solid colors throughout. Use gif instead
JPW
Just Plain wrong
Jr;;p s;;
what you get if your fingers are misplaced one key to the right when you try typing 'hello all.'
JR1
joke Requirement #1: surprise
JR2
joke Requirement #2: making sense in a different context
JR26
John Rennie
JRP (aka JRP1)
Jonathan r. partington
one of the phoenix persons
http://www.amsta.leeds.ac.uk/~pmt6jrp/personal/jrp1.html
js
jesus Shit
javascript
JS&MN
Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell, a novel by Susanna Clarke
http://www.jonathanstrange.com/
JSA
the justice Society of America
jscott
the guy working on get lamp (qv)
JSF
java Server Faces
Joint Strike Fighter
JSP (aka gsp)
java Server Pages
like asp, but s/Visual basic/java/
Just some Peon
Jet Set Pilly
John sucks Prawns
JSYK
Just so You Know
JTRAOI
just the right amount of information
Juan Goat
the new monkey
more than just one man, he's juan goat
Judd Nelson
the dude in From the Hip
A judge
a sadly overworked, underpaid, misunderstood individual
juggling (aka juggle)
when you throw stuff at the sky, and miss
Jughead
a tool for Gopher administrators to get menu information from various gopher servers, and is an acronym for: Jonzy's Universal Gopher Hierarchy Excavation and Display
Jujus (aka juju)
mojo
voodoo hoodoo. also, omens, etc
Julie
going to be surprised
July
the seventh month of the year
jump
what Kriss Kross will make you
jumpgate
http://www.netdevil.com/jumpgate/ -- a mmorpg
Jumping the shark (aka jump the shark)
a term used to describe the exact point in a television series' run where it becomes clear that the program has declined in quality so much that it is no longer worth salvaging. so named after an infamous episode of happy Days where Fonzie jumps a shark on water skis and a nation gave a collective disgusted sigh
http://www.jumptheshark.com
June
mamster's band before cat piss Lint Trap. Or after. Or something
two bands before, according to mamster
the sixth month of the year
junk
heroin
Junkbuster
a free ad-blocker available from www.junkbuster.com
there is a better version available at http://www.waldherr.org/junkbuster/
there is a blocklist available at http://www.waldherr.org/blocklist that catches a load of ads
Jusenkyo (aka springs / Cursed Springs)
a legendary training ground in china. it is filled with over a hundred cursed springs, each with its own tragic legend
if someone falls into one of the cursed springs, that person takes the form of a creature that drowned there years ago. Hot water reverses the effect, but cold water will return the victim to the 'curse' form
justice
blind
jw
jwalrus
Jehova's Witness